I don't mean to ask dumb questions, but I'm going to just in case:
Are you making sure not to slide the cable over the seperate 4 pins off to one side? Are you sure the cable isn't plugged in with hard drive upside down (some drives have connector upside down)? Did you make sure you aligned it and didn't "miss" two pins on either side?
Sorry to hear you think you might have killed the ide port. :cry: I feel your pain.