Is it true the English can't boil an egg?

[mr_a500]

Here in Canada, we don't boil eggs. We fry them - but only in the middle of summer. We don't fry eggs in winter because the sidewalk takes too long to heat up. :-D

[mr_a500]

From what I hear of Canadian winters, the eggs would only look fried but would turn out to be iron hard frozen splats you'd need to chisel off the sidewalk...

I think in some places in the far north, the egg would be frozen before it hit the ground. It'd get so hard, it could be classified as a dangerous weapon. I'm sure some people freeze eggs and use them to hold up banks.

[mr_a500]

My grandfather used to make brunch for the family on Sunday while we all were at church.

Your grandfather made "brunch"? Wow, he must have been ahead of his time. I never even heard the word "brunch" until I was 11. Even Marge Simpson had to have it explained to her (with a French accent): "You'll love eet. Eet's not quite breakfast, eet's not quite lunch, but you get a slice of cantelope at the end. You don't get completely what you want... but you get a good meal!"

And why the hell wasn't your grandfather at church?

Am I the only one here that actually likes EATING eggs??

Well, we don't ALL have grandfathers, you know.

[mr_a500]

because there's this unspoken "rule" that once a man has spent time in the trenches he doesn't have to go to church.

Well it's not unspoken any more - you just told me and ruined it for him.

I spent some time in the trenches myself: garden trenches... nasty business... got cut up pretty bad.

But back to eggs. It's so hot out you can hear them frying now - on sidewalks, car dashboards, bald people's heads. Some people have run back into their houses to get bacon to go with it.