I am writing an Aminet game about duelling wizards who cast spells at each other.
This particular spell description seems mildly humorous... It is like the idea is great but the delivery is not perfect?
I want the spell descriptions to be as funny as possible but not funnier. I know that you are a better comedic writer than I am so maybe you know how to improve this with a small edit?
Abduction*
Working on a remote island paradise, located slightly to the left of the middle of nowhere, Irvine the Evil sought to rule the world. Unfortunately for him, none of his spells could actually hit anyone. It turns out that one of the drawbacks of living near the middle of nowhere is that the curvature of the Earth blocks LOS to even the nearest civilizations.
So he took a rusty old Subversion spell and mixed a few java beans into it which gave it unlimited range, no need for LOS and with a touch of Irvine evil it became 6.66% stronger than a plain old Subversion. He could have conquered the world with this spell but for the fact that he never had a very good aim (possibly due to java bean jitteriness). So this spell just randomly hits something somewhere.
Abduction is an attempt to convince an enemy creature that it should switch to your side. Intelligent creatures are more likely to see through this ruse than stupid creatures. However, as abduction applies to a random creature you cannot know beforehand the intelligence of the recipient. Further, because the targeting of this spell is so imprecise it is possible that it will be applied to one of your own creations. Therefore, the spell is most beneficial when you have relatively few creations.
Abduction will not attempt to target Artifacts, Scrolls, Wizards or corpses. If successful, the target will immediately come under control of your wizard.
