Oh, and there's a story that must be told about the "date from hell"...
A year ago I was lodging with my mate Phil. Being a batchelor builder, Phil's attitude to bathroom cleanliness was shall we say, very relaxed. Basically you only used the lavatory out of extreme necessity.
Anyway, I went out for dinner with this girl who I'd been seeing on and off (mostly off) and she drove me back to Phil's. Half way back she said "Do you mind if I use your loo? I really need to go". Dread began to descend on me, I'd warned her of my pal's liberal attitude to housekeeping but I couldn't exactly say "why don't you go behind a bush or something?".
Anyway, my original plan of a peck on the cheek and a merry goodbye shot down in flames I ushered her in. Phil's dog immediately runs up to greet her and in doing so slobbers all over her black cashmere coat. She shoots everyone in the room an evil look so I politely usher her upstairs in the direction of the bathroom.
Phil and my other mate who was over for the evening took an instant dislike to her, especially when she seemed to be taking ages in the loo. Eventually she appeared with lipstick touched up and I see her off home with a quick kiss on the cheek, noting that she appeared to be in a state of shock after witnessing the full horror of the bathroom.
I headed back inside knowing full well that Phil's bathroom had gone down like a lead balloon and needed to pay a visit myself, whereupon I was met with what had to be the most fearful stench I've ever encountered. I immediatley ran downstairs to confront Phil and Clive, ready to chastise them for leaving the bathroom in such a condition when we had guests.
However, neither party was responsible and having privately blamed the devastation on me the awful truth dawned that the culprit was at that moment driving herself home... My mate never did take to her!
Some things just aren't meant to be.
[disclaimer]
BTW, since I've got my own flat I can assure everyone that the standard of cleanliness in my bathroom is maintained to a very high standard!
