I hate American Idle

[PMC]

My condolences and most sincere apologies to all our American posters on behalf of the people of Britain for having been responsible for "American Idol".

We apologise without reservation for unleashing such an horrific WMD (Weapon of Mass Depression) upon the American public and hope our future relations won't be unduly harmed.

However, I should like to point out that as the charismatic Simon Cowell is presently residing in the US, along with many others suspected of involvement in this despicable new trend of reality TV and that the US is notable for it's liberal attitude toward gun control, an honorary knighthood is up for grabs to the first person to shoot Messrs Cowell et al.

I think I've just come out in support of the NRA...

[PMC]

We need to get Speel and Odin up here to apologise on behalf of Holland for "Big Brother".

Actually, we've had our own version of BB since 1992.  Basically the plot is to put a large number of halfwitted dysfunctional egotists all pursueing their own agendas into a large room in an historic building.  The proceedings are televised live and make for somewhat amusing viewing.

The Parliament Channel can be compulsive viewing sometimes.

[PMC]

How about some sort of "National Guilt" thread?

Here's my list of nations which owe the rest of the world an apology:

1) Sweden - Dr Alban and "It's my life".  And Rednex, oh and for the bloke who did the awful "call on me" thingy.  Maybe Ace of Bass too?

2) Norway - Aqua - I had to endure their album at a spinning class last night.  Although A Ha did the theme for a Bond film, so we'll let that one go.

3) Germany - For buying David Hasselhof CDs.  I would ask to apologise for "99 Red Baloons" but Nena was quite nice :-) and back in the day Westbam and Kraftwerk were cool.

4) Ireland - For Westlife / Boyzone / B-witched etc - although U2 so make up for some of it.

5) Scotland - The Proclaimers.

6) England - The Spice Girls, Simon Cowell and way, way too many others

7) Russia - Tatu

Spain - We British still haven't forgotten the dreadful "Eldorado" soap opera, filmed on your soil...

9) The USA - David Hasselhoff

10) Canada - Shania Twain

11) Columbia - Shakira

12) Italy - Sabrina "Boys boys boys".  Gaaaaahhhhhhh!

13) Israel - That Dana transexual who won Eurovision a while back, just when was Isreal part of Europe anyway?

14) The entire European continent (and Israel) - For Eurovision.  Stop it now!

[PMC]

Hmm...  The USA is on decidedly rocky ground with this one.  One one hand we have David Hasselhoff, on the other there's Daisy Duke.

But it's not so simple as that.  There's that Billy-Bob bloke who sang "Achy Breaky Heart" which in several countries constitutes a weapon of mass misery, then there's Michael Bolton with his ridiculous haircut...  Oh and isn't Missy Elliott an American too?  Then there's J Lo, Mariah Carey, New Kids on the Block etc...  

The US are going to have to work hard to put this one right... (say's the bloke from the land of Take That, Girls Aloud, Liberty X, Paul Daniels, Noel Edmunds, Jim Davidson (although isn't he Welsh?) and the Mike Reids)