The card sounds fine, but you are not using the easiest TCP/IP stacks to configure -- well Miami is easy if you play with it. As for AmiTCP, that is why Amigakit came out with EasyNet. Roadshow 68k is dead easy with 1) install, 2) copy 1 file, 3) reboot and it is working! Unless you are using the wrong surf.device file or in the wrong location. The other stacks work if you know how to configure them.
You mileage may vary.