I think the only noob friendly way is Slackware (+ a big Linux book).
Because it forces you to learn the setup of Linux.
If things go wrong at least you can find out yourself. Else you have to be lucky to find a topic on the net wich is about your problem. And you'll probably spend too much time on repairing your problem and you'll learn not much about it.
Distros sucks!
No, Linux from Scratch is really the most newbie friendly way:
http://www.linuxfromscratch.org/Why use someone else init scripts when you can craft your own?
Just reserve one week for the installation and compillation and you have a shiny, responsive and minimal Linux installation.
