Amiga.org
Coffee House => Coffee House Boards => CH / General => Topic started by: Methuselas on June 10, 2004, 09:08:43 PM
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How come *I* never found a cute, amiga girl. :cry:
Sigh....I need a guinness. :-?
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Methuselas wrote:
I need a guinness.
I need one too. And not only one.
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Speelgoedmannetje wrote:
I need one too. And not only one.
@Speel,
A keq would suit me quite nicely. :-P
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What's a keq?
btw, now I read beyond the beer issue,
*sigh*
yeah, I wouldn't mind an Amigay
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OOOPS! Heh, that should have said 'keg'.
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My girlfriend has an Amiga 500 :-) in the closet :-(
Anyway, she was very happy when she found she could play Twintris on my 4000T, so luckily my investment (the 4000T)got permission to stay indoors.
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Methuselas wrote:
OOOPS! Heh, that should have said 'keg'.
ah yes, a keg 'll do me..
anyway, a keg o' beer, an amiga plus an amiga loving partner, life can be good.
IF I'd have an amiga loving partner
can't be hard to get one, can it?
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Speelgoedmannetje wrote:
yeah, I wouldn't mind an Amigay
:roflmao:
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Methuselas said:
I have a crush on Blobrana!!!!
Hmm I agree with you, Blobrana (real name??) is the cutie of Amiga.org :-) . I bet a ton of people here have a crush on her - she can pick and choose :lol:
Well, thats me out then :lol:
BTW, is there a pic of Cecilia online?
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She is indeed a very cute little creature!
C'mon Blob' post something on this thread!
/me np Nocturnal Rites - "Wake Up Dead"
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Hoya!
/me agrees, Blo' is NOT ugly... As for cecilia, well, she DOES talk but we do NOT know what she looks like. Maybe she is a MAN!!! Eeeek!!!!
Also, I remember a lovely Eastern lady, who appeared to be, erm... A redhead! She had a pic of her as avatar and she was DEAD gorgeous.
Sadly, it seems she is not a member any longer... :-(
Be funky
M A D
PS: This is post number [color=FF0000]666!!![/color][/b][/u]
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MAD wrote:
Hoya!
/me agrees, Blo' is NOT ugly... As for cecilia, well, she DOES talk but we do NOT know what she looks like. Maybe she is a MAN!!! Eeeek!!!!
I could be wrong, but I think Mr. Quick Oats met her once. Unless I've gone senile.
PS. Satanic post-count! :-D
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MAD wrote:
Hoya!
/me agrees, Blo' is NOT ugly... As for cecilia, well, she DOES talk but we do NOT know what she looks like. Maybe she is a MAN!!! Eeeek!!!!
What's so 'Eeeek!!!!' about that :-?
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Its generally 'Eeeek!!!!' when you find out someone is the opposite gender to what they have you believe :-P
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The general perception ain't that much flexible eh?
Well, I mine is, 'cause I always had to change it.
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Hoya!
@Speel
Take it easy mate, I have nothing against gays... It is just I am a men-hater ;-)
Women rule!
Be funky
M A D
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HA! I'm thinking of uploading a pic of me at age 3 - that way you all can engage your pedofilic tendencies!
You know you want to!
:roflmao:
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paedophiles should be hung by their own intestines :P
Upload a recent pic of you (by recent, I'm talking within the last year) :-D
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Huh?
What all this about?
Hum, just as i was having a nice quiet day (reformatting a pc and mulling over a cd with Redmond Linux on it ), and i return to this!
oh well... ;)
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:lol: guys are SO entertaining!
:banana:
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blobrana wrote:
What all this about?
Just my misery that *I* could never find an amiga girl. :-( I tried to assimilate my ex-wife, but she'd have none of that. She is and will always remain, a Windoze user.
I found your pic on the faces of amiga.org and well, it's depressing, 'cos most of the amigaphiles I know are guys. I always wanted an Amiga girl...Marktime, Coder and The Editor have one, so why can't I???? :-?
You shall be my new muse. One day, I shall find one and she WILL be mine. Oh yes, she WILL be mine.
So Bloby, when ya gonna move state-side to my neck of the woods?? :-D
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well.... she likes techno and trance :evil:
/me gives up being a A.org_member stalker
/me np Poisonblack - "Love Infernal"
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@ Methuselas,
A crush on the AO poster girl. Poor lad.
Chris
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Methuselas wrote:
I found your pic on the faces of amiga.org and well, it's depressing, 'cos most of the amigaphiles I know are guys. I always wanted an Amiga girl...Marktime, Coder and The Editor have one, so why can't I???? :-?
Be a borg: pick a girl who you like assimilate her!
Restistance is futile! I've seen it! One good addictive game playing against each other on the Amiga and it's done!
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Yup, don't forget to inject your "nano bots" :-D
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Methulselas wrote:
I found your pic on the faces of amiga.org and well, it's depressing, 'cos most of the amigaphiles I know are guys. I always wanted an Amiga girl...Marktime, Coder and The Editor have one, so why can't I????
When god was making internet chicks, he said to them: "Looks, intelligence, mental stability. Pick two."
(Blobrana excluded from above, of course.)
:-D
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KennyR wrote:
When god was making internet chicks, he said to them: "Looks, intelligence, mental stability. Pick two."
:roflmao:
so true
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if you want to see something STUNNING!!!!! take a look here (http://antwrp.gsfc.nasa.gov/apod/astropix.html)
WOW! I had to download the full version. it's a beut! :-o
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cecilia wrote:
if you want to see something STUNNING!!!!! take a look here (http://antwrp.gsfc.nasa.gov/apod/astropix.html)
WOW! I had to download the full version. it's a beut! :-o
:-o
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bloodline wrote:
cecilia wrote:
if you want to see something STUNNING!!!!! take a look here (http://antwrp.gsfc.nasa.gov/apod/astropix.html)
WOW! I had to download the full version. it's a beut! :-o
:-o
It's only a model.
Sssh.
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cecilia wrote:
if you want to see something STUNNING!!!!! take a look here (http://antwrp.gsfc.nasa.gov/apod/astropix.html)
WOW! I had to download the full version. it's a beut! :-o
It's beautiful, breathtaking if you understand, feel, what that picture displays.
@mikeymike
now you spoiled the fun! :-x
:lol:
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mikeymike wrote:
It's only a model.
Sssh.
Ceci n'est pas une pipe
:roflmao:
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Hum,
Q: What's the difference between Max Factor and Quantum Theorists?
A: Max Factor has models that work.
[nice picture....]
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cecilia wrote:
mikeymike wrote:
It's only a model.
Sssh.
Ceci n'est pas une pipe
:roflmao:
Une cadeaux!
What?
A present!
Oh, oui!
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Who does Blobby have a crush on thebn?! :-)
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Probablly isn't me :-(
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JonoPike wrote:
Probablly isn't me :-(
Good to see we're all optimists here!!! ;-)
Anyway, if posting to this thread is an indicator of having a crush on our dearest blobrana, then I suppose I've just given myself away! ;-) 8-)
- Mike
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Glaucus wrote:
Anyway, if posting to this thread is an indicator of having a crush on our dearest blobrana, then I suppose I've just given myself away! ;-) 8-)
- Mike
Maybe we should start the Cult of Blobrana?? :lol:
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Methuselas wrote:
Maybe we should start the Cult of Blobrana?? :lol:
yeah, but all members of this cult are in your pants!!! :-o :lol:
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CU_AMiGA wrote:
Who does Blobby have a crush on thebn?! :-)
cecilia...? ;-)
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cecilia wrote:
yeah, but all members of this cult are in your pants!!! :-o :lol: [/quote]
o_O Oh MY! :-o
:lol: Well, it does make sense...most cults are run by dicks and nuts! Look at Koresh and Manson.
:roflmao:
[Note - My statements were not, in any sort of way, meant as derogatory. My apologies to those, if any, who were offended.]
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Note - My statements were not, in any sort of way, meant as derogatory. My apologies to those, if any, who were offended.
:roflmao:
oh, but it's such fun to upset "dicks and nuts"!!!
I love when they get all [color=FF0000]RED[/color] faced!!!! :lol: :laughing:
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@Cecilia
You're just HORRIBLE!!!! :crazy: :lol:
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and PROUD of it!
:banana:
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:oops: :roflmao:
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I don't want to start a Blobrana cult! I want her for myself! :-D
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Hoya!
cecilia is the Grand Priestess of the Cult of The Steaming Desire. She gathers men in her Temple (a building that is... ;-) ), then by performing some oral tricks (she is VERY good at preaching :-P what were you thinking of???), she turns them into SEX SLAVES!!!
The more submissive they are, the greater their chances to see the True Path (that is, The Front Door, The Stairs and THE BED).
As for Bblorama... ;-)
Come on cecilia!!! Be a man! Show us a pic!!! :lol:
Be funky
M A D
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:-o
You guys should get out more..
edit: ready for tomorrow's match MAD? :-)
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Come on cecilia!!! Be a man! :lol:
:lol: :lol: :lol:
And as for Blobrana, I don't think she wants any one of us :-P
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Hoya!
Rugby I guess? Well, I do not care about sport although I like watching rugby from time to time...
Anyway, both teams are good so it should be a good match :-)
As for getting out more... Yes, I should. Does any female Amigan live near New Malden? No, not you Van_M, you are no girl, are you? ;-)
Be funky
M A D
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I concur, Blobrana is a real cutie, how old is she?!
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Hoya!
I would say 25.
Be funky
M A D
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I seeee hmm does she live in England?! I'd ask myself but she doesn't seem to be around ;-)
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Robert17 wrote:
I seeee hmm does she live in England?! I'd ask myself but she doesn't seem to be around ;-)
She appears to be Scotish :-)
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Hehehe wonder if she'd like a toyboy :-P
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Who's called the toyboy? (Speelgoedmannetje = Dutch for Toy man/boy)
oh hum
leave it
Though I had some interesting chats with her :-)
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Nah nobody's the toyboy, I didn't know you're name meant that. I was just implying I'm pretty young and wondering if she'd like a toyboy :-) *doubtful*
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i think the esprression is "boytoy", but whatever. :lol:
boytoy are a nice idea!
and MAD: haha! I seem to inspire poetry. Joe Torre has been known to send me his poetry. I wonder if it has to do with this [color=FF0000]red hair[/color] connection????
:roflmao:
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Hmm, behind that veil of intellect, Cecelia is probablly one of those horny, pervy-minded ladies that prey on us hapless males :-o
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JonoPike wrote:
Hmm, behind that veil of intellect, Cecelia is probablly one of those horny, pervy-minded ladies that prey on us hapless males :-o
Jono,
That's MY kinda lady! :lol:
hmmm...I wonder how old Cecilia is. If she's older than 31, *I* could be *HER* 'boytoy'.
Yeah, Blob's got it all. Good looks, intellect and an AMIGA. What more could you ask for in a woman?? :-D
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Hmm, Blob has everything, except an intrest in us :-(
I wonder if Cecilia wants any of us as her BoyToys?
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This has become creepy and uncomfortable.
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As for getting out more... Yes, I should. Does any female Amigan live near New Malden? No, not you Van_M, you are no girl, are you?
Last time I checked, I had stuff hunging out between my legs... hold on , I'll check again! :lol:
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Methuselas wrote:
Yeah, Blob's got it all. Good looks, intellect and an AMIGA. What more could you ask for in a woman?? :-D
Well....uh...money as added feature to the woman could be handy :crazy:.
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JonoPike wrote:
Hmm, Blob has everything, except an intrest in us :-(
One shouldn't wonder why:
that_punk_guy wrote:
This has become creepy and uncomfortable
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Van_M wrote:
As for getting out more... Yes, I should. Does any female Amigan live near New Malden? No, not you Van_M, you are no girl, are you?
Last time I checked, I had stuff hunging out between my legs... hold on , I'll check again! :lol:
hm, maybe you need a second opinion
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Robert17 wrote:
Hehehe wonder if she'd like a toyboy :-P
You guys really ought to get out more!
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I dare say Blobrana is keeping a low profile.
I mean .. This isn't her catching you having a sneaky sideways peak at her..
Your all sitting around, tongues hanging out panting, like a group of street dogs about to pounce, as if she were a {bleep} on heat.
C'mon guys .. How do you expect her to react to all that ??
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JonoPike wrote:
Hmm, behind that veil of intellect, Cecelia is probablly one of those horny, pervy-minded ladies that prey on us hapless males :-o
and, this is a problem because....................
:lol:
I dare say Blobrana is keeping a low profile. I mean .. This isn't her catching you having a sneaky sideways peak at her.. Your all sitting around, tongues hanging out panting, like a group of street dogs about to pounce, as if she were a {bleep} on heat. C'mon guys .. How do you expect her to react to all that ??
hey, this is how guys are supposed to be!
that's why we love them!:roflmao:
come on! jump around like a doggy! good doggy! wang that tail!!! :lol:
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Did you know that Chinese eat dogs? :-)
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you sure have a knake for going off-topic!
:lol:
(this is obviously flirting thread, speel.)
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Hoya!
@cecilia
Who is Joe Torre?
And, YES, I love red hair... But ONLY on a *girl's* head ;-)
Anyway, as far as I can tell, this is the first flirt thread on AOrg! ;-)
/me suggests webcamz should be out... :-D
Be funky
M A D
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cecilia wrote:
you sure have a knake for going off-topic!
:lol:
(this is obviously flirting thread, speel.)
You're not the only one who can be ambiguous, Cecilia.. (use your RICH imagination on what I stated)
/me runs
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MAD wrote:
Anyway, as far as I can tell, this is the first flirt thread on AOrg! ;-)
/me suggests webcamz should be out... :-D
I agree, since the majority of Aorg is male.. :-D
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Speelgoedmannetje wrote:
(this is obviously flirting thread, speel.)
You're not the only one who can be ambiguous, Cecilia.. (use your RICH imagination on what I stated)
/me runs
[/quote]i just hope to ghod you were refering to eating sausages and not to certain ethnic groups having sex with animals!
:lol:
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of course sausages...
But I was rather thinking of what you stated as being doggies, and with that, eating has multiple meanings.
plus I gave it a creepy turn with the meaning you mentioned :lol:
plus it has a cannibalistic meaning in it.
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MAD wrote:
Who is Joe Torre?
http://thorny.synchro.net/joe_torre.htm (http://thorny.synchro.net/joe_torre.htm)
http://www.cowtownmusic.com/amiga/mae_98.html (http://www.cowtownmusic.com/amiga/mae_98.html)
http://amiga.emugaming.com/boingode.html (http://amiga.emugaming.com/boingode.html)
http://flyingmice.com/cgi-bin/squidcgi/mbmessage.pl/amiga/85610.shtml (http://flyingmice.com/cgi-bin/squidcgi/mbmessage.pl/amiga/85610.shtml)
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Quote: Van_M wrote: : As for getting out more... Yes, I should. Does any female Amigan live near New Malden? No, not you Van_M, you are no girl, are you? Last time I checked, I had stuff hunging out between my legs... hold on , I'll check again!
hm, maybe you need a second opinion
No, thanx I can manage.....
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Well I only wrote it as a joke, just thought it could make for interesting conversation :-P
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cecilia wrote:
Speelgoedmannetje wrote:
(this is obviously flirting thread, speel.)
You're not the only one who can be ambiguous, Cecilia.. (use your RICH imagination on what I stated)
/me runs
i just hope to ghod you were refering to eating sausages and not to certain ethnic groups having sex with animals!
:lol: [/quote]
This isn't the "politically incorrect jokes"-thread, so I'll just keep quiet, mmkay? :lol:
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Poor Blobrana. Jeez, some of you need to get out more :-D
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Karlos wrote:
Poor Blobrana. Jeez, some of you need to get out more :-D
Yeah...this is indeed kinda creepy :shudder:
Glad this thread isn't about me :-D
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You dirty old men should be ashamed of yourselves, saying such vile comments! Shame on you! :-D
*escourts Blobrana out of the thread*
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SPELLING ERROR!
It is escorts, not escourts, you bin liner :lol:
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CU_AMiGA wrote:
You dirty old men should be ashamed of yourselves, saying such vile comments! Shame on you! :-D
*escourts Blobrana out of the thread*
Yeah stalkin's illegal. :roll:
an they wonder why there are not many females around here. :huh:
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I'm not stalking her! I'm just posting in this thread. Now, if I was trying to talk to her on MSN, AIM etc, and sending her emails, then that would be stalking. I wouldn't do that :-)
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CannonFodder wrote:
CU_AMiGA wrote:
You dirty old men should be ashamed of yourselves, saying such vile comments! Shame on you! :-D
*escourts Blobrana out of the thread*
Yeah stalkin's illegal. :roll:
an they wonder why there are not many females around here. :huh:
Actually,
I thought that Blob was a long-haired guy until this thread appeared! :-D
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Hoya!
LOL!
"Amiga -The ONLY cross-dressed platform (boots) computer"
;-)
Be funky
M A D
PS: Blobrana, take this just as a habitual AOrg delirium ;-)
(I just realised it is Blobrana and NOT Bblorama! Silly me!!!)
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@whabang
hehe, long flowing hair, a bit like Professor Denzil Dexter (http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/fastshow/characters/denzil_dexter.shtml)?
(http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/fastshow/characters/images/denzil2.jpg)
Actually, i`m a automated quake bot... :-)
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blobrana wrote:
@whabang
hehe, long flowing hair, a bit like Professor Denzil Dexter (http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/fastshow/characters/denzil_dexter.shtml)?
(http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/fastshow/characters/images/denzil2.jpg)
Exactly! :-D
Actually, i`m a automated quake bot... :-)
:nervous: They exist IRL? :nervous:
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Hoya!
/me prefers dynAMIte botz ;-P
Be funky
M A D
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Hahaha. Poor Blob - you lot are making no attempt to hide your affection and its probably frightening the poor girl off. Have you not heard of taking the time to get to know them, plying them with good wine? and have them leave you for some other bloke by the end of the night?
On a side note, last girl I asked out meant to text her friend but the message went to me by mistake. Her exact words were:
Arrrgghh! Rob has asked me out! Noooo! What did I do!
:bigcry: :laugh: :roflmao: :-D
Still, makes a change from "I'm washing my hair" hehe
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Hoya!
ROTFL!!!!!!! :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:
Be funky
M A D
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Heh yeah Women are cruel like that, still if we heard what everyone says behind our backs! Such is life...
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Poor blob.... (http://www.oyonale.com/ldc/english/idol.htm)
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Well that girl who said ARRGGHHHH is weigning. Persistence is good. I even learnt a bit of welsh :-)
(though I dont know what she said back...)
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Haha - I now know what she said wasnt "No".. and that it doesnt contain the word "off" .. :-D
hmm...
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Bobsonsirjonny wrote:
Well that girl who said ARRGGHHHH is weigning. Persistence is good. I even learnt a bit of welsh :-)
(though I dont know what she said back...)
Haha - I now know what she said wasnt "No".. and that it doesnt contain the word "off" .. :-D
hmm...
It's a start.... Depends what part of Wales she's from, if she's from North Wales it's worth remembering that quite a few of the locals don't like the English very much.... At least you're making an effort to learn Welsh.
Keep at it sir! Oh and good luck....
Believe you me, wooing a lady becomes much more difficult once you get past 25!
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I only have four years left?
Crap, I better get crackin'! :-D
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PMC wrote:
Believe you me, wooing a lady becomes much more difficult once you get past 25!
:lol:
Hogwash! The only guys that have ever told me that are the 43 year olds who are still chasing the 23 year olds like they have been since THEY were 23! :lol:
Aw hell, what do I know? ;-)
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T_Bone wrote:
:lol:
Hogwash! The only guys that have ever told me that are the 43 year olds who are still chasing the 23 year olds like they have been since THEY were 23! :lol:
Aw hell, what do I know? ;-)
What ya sayin' T-bone.... :-)
I've still got another 13 years before I should stop chasing 23 year olds :lol:
Seriously though, the amount of available potential partners diminishes rather frighteningly... Unless anyone knows any available lasses in their late 20s, who are solvent, have their full compliment of marbles, reasonably chilled out and like mountain biking in addition to being reasonably attractive etc?
There's a real shortage in my neck of the woods :-D
In retrospect, the "marbles" issue may need to be a point of negotiation....
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PMC wrote:
have their full compliment of marbles,
That spoils the fun :-D
I have a female here who has less marbles than she should have, but that's part of the charm (not to mention the fits of giggles :-D )
In retrospect, the "marbles" issue may need to be a point of negotiation....
:-D
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PMC wrote:
T_Bone wrote:
:lol:
Hogwash! The only guys that have ever told me that are the 43 year olds who are still chasing the 23 year olds like they have been since THEY were 23! :lol:
Aw hell, what do I know? ;-)
What ya sayin' T-bone.... :-)
I've still got another 13 years before I should stop chasing 23 year olds :lol:
Seriously though, the amount of available potential partners diminishes rather frighteningly... Unless anyone knows any available lasses in their late 20s, who are solvent, have their full compliment of marbles, reasonably chilled out and like mountain biking in addition to being reasonably attractive etc?
There's a real shortage in my neck of the woods :-D
In retrospect, the "marbles" issue may need to be a point of negotiation....
Well... there is Cecila :-)
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Vincent wrote:
PMC wrote:
have their full compliment of marbles,
That spoils the fun :-D
There's "nicely" nutty and theres......
:-o
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@ PMC
You see, mate, you spoke about marbles and look what bad luck you had ;-)
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Oh dear...
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X-ray wrote:
@ PMC
You see, mate, you spoke about marbles and look what bad luck you had ;-)
If only you knew the half of it....
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"...If only you knew the half of it...."
----------------------------------------
I know the quarter of it, my friend, and it is times like that where the old adage holds true:
"If it has tits or wheels it will give you trouble"
:lol:
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"If it has tits or wheels it will give you trouble"
:roflmao:
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X-ray wrote:
I know the quarter of it, my friend, and it is times like that where the old adage holds true:
"If it has tits or wheels it will give you trouble"
:lol:
Hahaha! My favourite spin is "tits or an engine" as both have caused me equal amounts of expense, heartache and grief.
http://image.purehype.net/gallery2/d/2627-3/boob_car.jpg
The owner of this must be on the verge of suicide by now...
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PMC wrote:
http://image.purehype.net/gallery2/d/2627-3/boob_car.jpg
The owner of this must be on the verge of suicide by now...
:lol:
Pervtastic!
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Short of owning an Alfa Romeo assembled at 16:30 hours on a Friday afternoon during a latin cost cutting purge I cannot think of anything else which may well be as troublesome as something with tits and an engine.
Oh hell, guess what car I drive?
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It's a very conscious decision to be not able to drive the thing half the time when you buy an Alfa!
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@ PMC
Hehe that Mini has a good paint job. You see, we South Africans can be creative (Gauteng plates, probably a Joburg car)
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I might have guessed it was the brainchild of a saffer with a sense of humour!
[geek]
I remember the South African plates back in the day, the prefix of CA being Cape and a suffix of T being Transvaal. Can't remember the format for Natal or OFS though!
[/geek]
Back to the topic in hand, I'm attempting to draw parallels the nationalities of girls I've dated and the sum total of my automotive experiences to date:
German: Finely built with taut suspension, however the reputation for clockwork reliability left much to be desired, causing a great deal of stress and worry about considerable expense a few months down the line.
Swedish: Generally dependable and great in cold weather, impressive flexibility. However, displayed a prodigious thirst and proved to be somewhat high maintenence unless regularly serviced.
Australian: Hugely entertaining but noisy and lacking in subtlety. Great handling though.
British: Somewhat lacking in sophistication or glamour when compared to foreign counterparts, build quality very patchy so best to shop around and watch out for sudden leaks. Frequently seen being serviced on any street corner
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@ PMC
Great idea :lol:
Okay, let me add two:
South African: tough and durable while being easy on the eye. Maintenance requirements vary, but generally if it is well serviced it runs just fine. Tends to feel awkward when parking next to other cars. These are best driven locally. There tend to be problems with the export models.
Australian: performance can be made to be average, with a lot of work and a sort of 'grudging' capitulation of the mechanicals. Acceleration is on the lazy side and suspension is fairly soft. Once the car is purchased there is an ever-decreasing slope in the value and performance of the vehicle. These are probably best suited for weekend driving, not an everyday car.
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So you haven't had a great deal of positive experiences with the antipodean model then?
I could say something about being easily maintained by the side of the road by individuals with the most rudimentary of tool wielding skill, but I'll refrain.
[edit] Oh hell...
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@ PMC
Ja, that last Aussie was a mean woman. Of course, I plodded along thinking things would get better, you know, just like a dumb male dazed by the noxious effects of oestrogen.
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X-ray wrote:
@ PMC
I plodded along thinking things would get better, you know, just like a dumb male dazed by the noxious effects of oestrogen.
It's potent stuff my friend, potent stuff.
I wish I had some words of wisdom to explain it all, but then I spent five steadily worsening years with someone (and ended up married to them for fourteen months) in the vain hope that "things would get better". Needless to say they didn't!
It's a shame that there is no cure for being a dumbass under the influence of a lady.
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PMC wrote:
It's a shame that there is no cure for being a dumbass under the influence of a lady.
Maybe? (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chemical_castration) ;-)
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@PMC & X-ray
There are aussie women and there are aussie women. The ones you refer to (loud mouthed and obnoxious), I refer to as "Shazza's" and I can't stand them either. What is ironic about this is, the "Shazza's" are from mostly convict and early settler ancestry, so they are essentially pommy women that have had thier brains baked under the hot Australian sun :-P
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deleted by X-ray
( Because I poured my heart onto this electronic canvas, like syrup onto a biscuit, and it was too emotional to leave here )
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adz wrote:
@PMC & X-ray
There are aussie women and there are aussie women. The ones you refer to (loud mouthed and obnoxious), I refer to as "Shazza's" and I can't stand them either. What is ironic about this is, the "Shazza's" are from mostly convict and early settler ancestry, so they are essentially pommy women that have had thier brains baked under the hot Australian sun :-P
Jeez, pommie women are the worst...we should know! Have you not heard of chavs??? :-)
That's why I'm pursuing a French girl at the moment....
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Cyberus wrote:
That's why I'm pursuing a French girl at the moment....
So are we talking "Quirky and stylish with an excellent ride quality"?
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well mines not one of those!
English classic:
reliable and well upholstered (nudge nudge ;-)). long -sorry- extremely long service interval (doh!), but purrs nicely given the right treatment !!
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PMC wrote:
Cyberus wrote:
That's why I'm pursuing a French girl at the moment....
So are we talking "Quirky and stylish with an excellent ride quality"?
very true as far as the cars go! (Laguna 1.8 16v Estate. nice!) not sure 'bout the wimmin...
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Cyberus wrote:
Jeez, pommie women are the worst...we should know! Have you not heard of chavs??? :-)
That's why I'm pursuing a French girl at the moment....
They can't all be chavs :-o As for the French, I'm not in the least bit interested, for some reason French women come across as high maintenence.
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Hell, she's my French teacher, so there's always the bonus of free French lessons
Oh, and free 'French lessons' *nudge nudge *wink wink
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Cyberus wrote:
Oh, and free 'French lessons' *nudge nudge *wink wink
=9
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Cyberus wrote:
Hell, she's my French teacher, so there's always the bonus of free French lessons
Oh, and free 'French lessons' *nudge nudge *wink wink
Yes, I got that one straight away :-D
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Agafaster wrote:
English classic:
reliable and well upholstered (nudge nudge ;-)). long -sorry- extremely long service interval (doh!), but purrs nicely given the right treatment !!
Ah, more of a Jaguar XJ than a Rover Metro...
There's got to be a few more nationalities we can bring in... What about Italians, Spanish, etc?
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(oops)
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X-ray wrote:
(oops)
posted something we didnt intend, eh? ;-)
Ah, more of a Jaguar XJ than a Rover Metro...
There's got to be a few more nationalities we can bring in... What about Italians, Spanish, etc?
not quite as sleek, probably more like a Jag X-type Deisel- roomy and economical, not much oomph, and you can tell she's had 3 kids in there, but looks very good for it!!
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Right now I'd settle for "low mileage, economical, full service history, reliabile and with reasonable bodywork"...
Several examples I've inspected show evidence of serious rear end shunts, considerable frontal modification and excessive noxious emissions.
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@ agafaster
Ja I got emotional again. Almost composed an ode, in fact. Luckily I caught myself.
@ PMC
I am beginning to think that the solution to our problems is as ancient as the source of our problems. The problem lies in the contract. You see, a girlfriend is a contract. In that contract are the following provisions:
1) The girl must be sufficiently wooed, dated, pampered and adored before she will agree to the title of girlfriend.
2) The male will demonstrate his commitment to the girl by absorbing significnt hits in terms of time and money and emotional inconvenience, before the girl will allow him the physical pleasures that he seeks as a boyfriend. At no time will these inconveniences be waived in recognition of his efforts to physically pleasure the girl.
3) The male waives all rights. He is always wrong (for the purposes of any future bickering that may not be covered by the 'withdrawal of nookie' clause in the contract) ;-)
So where does this lead us? Well, it is simple. Instead of suffering like this, we should just do what our ancestors did and trade a handful of coins for a shag.
It is much cheaper, more sincere, and has none of the contractual obligations I have outlined. You want a friend? Takes some mates down to the pub to play pool and have a few pints. You want intellectual conversation? Join a philosophy forum. Don't ask the bird for it. We gotta correct this imbalance of effort and returns, gents.
Hehehe
I am waiting for the Amiga girls to jump in and :whack: :argue:
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No, X-Ray, just be honest, secretly you want to make love with men :-P
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@ Speel
No way, I am a confirmed lesbian, 'cos I only like women :-P
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You can't say if you haven't tried :-P
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And here's proof of your secret obsession for phallus symbols:
(http://www.amiga.org/gallery/photos/1925.jpg)
:-P ;-)
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@Speel and X-Ray
Goddammit I'm a lesbian too... I have proof. :lol:
@X-ray
I've been to some of the seedier places in Europe where the company of a lady may be purchased for a small amount of cash and I can't say the idea appeals...
Negotiating a price with a lass who's guaranteed to be businesslike and efficient surely takes some of the flavour out of the occasion, would it not?
I remain a hopeless case forever enslaved by the power of Oestrogen. Sigh....
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That said, the denial of certain horizontal priviledges pending your utter capitulation in respect of whatever disagreement you may be having with a significant lady other is tantamount to deploying WMD.
For the jaded cynics amongst us, here is the topic of a thread on my current fav website (NFSW):
http://www.b3ta.com/questions/bonkers/
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@ PMC
"Negotiating a price with a lass who's guaranteed to be businesslike and efficient surely takes some of the flavour out of the occasion, would it not?"
---------------------------------------------------------
Here are your options:
1) Sign a contract involving woe, hardship and a long uphill battle, just so you can eat a piece of cake that you may not turn out to like, but will be stuck with.
2) Pay a small amount for a piece of cake that may not be as warm, but is still cake. If you don't like that cake, you can chuck it and get a different one.
3) You can pay a medium amount and get two slices of cake that you can enjoy simultaneously. Doesn't matter how business-like that seems, if that doesn't sort you then you need to ask whether it is really cake you are after, or just friendship.
:-P
Actually the more I think of it, the more I like the idea of spending little and getting a quick fix. All a man needs is to rid himself of his natural poisons from time to time. If a tasty bird can make a few bucks out of it, what's the harm?
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Yep, I've been married I know all about woe and hardship :lol:
I was about to write a long post going into all the cons until you made the point about the two slices of cake.
You could have Victoria Sponge and Honey Loaf at the same time... Without the resulting pangs of guilt afterward.
;-)
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hehe
In that link you posted, a dude seems to have found the best solution:
1:30pm - She announces she fancies me
2pm - We're officially girlfriend & boyfriend
2:15pm - Sex
3:15pm - She's planning our first holiday
4pm - More sex
5pm - Kiss goodbye
6pm - Dumped
See? No bucks lost, all the warmth you could ask for, then you have your life back before the day is through.
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Ah the lifecycle of a relationship played out in four and a half hours... Proportionally speaking they waited a while before the sex.
Could be worse, there is a guy on there who's g/f apparently collected Nazi memorabilia. Kinky...
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There is a funny picture I got sent a while back, that ties in with that theme. If I can find it I'll PM it to you.
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Be my guest sir!
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Damn I can't find it, PMC.
But there is a baselondon ad that has the same theme, minus the Nazi attire :lol:
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@X-Ray re your reply to PMC:
very interesting. and true, but its only temporary! get em in the sack, then cohabit, and before long, you'll be f@rting in bed, and the words 'you used to be nice to me' start being uttered!
trust my 10 years of wedded bliss in this!
course, I dont get any, but 3 kids might be the root of that...
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@PMC
trouble with the honey loaf is that it might contain something nasty...then you can talk about pangs!
(not to mention sloppy seconds... :-o)
@X-Ray
The trouble then is that one may get the rep of being a bit of a shyte, and then back to square 1!!
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@ Agafaster
You see this here describes a long-term girlfriend nicely:
(http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g154/Odd_Job/womencomplicated.jpg)
And this here describes my view of things:
(http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g154/Odd_Job/Dartboard.jpg)
Hehe
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Here's a thought...
Men generally meet a girl and think "She's amazing the way she is, I hope she never changes". Then she does.
A woman on the other hand meets a guy and thinks "he's nice, however if he changes x and y he'll be perfect". She'll then set to work on trying to mould him into her ideal until she realises that he's never going to change.
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Ja, then she gets half his stuff in the settlement.
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:lol:
I'm sure I saw a jpeg of a Porsche with the number plate "WAS H15" somewhere.
Having read the usual reports of ludicrous divorce settlement cases, all of a sudden Billie Piper has become one of the most desirable women on the planet...
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I loved the 'Psycho {bleep} From Hell'-story. The big question is of course why on earth the guy in question gave in to his dick instead of his brain. I am by no means an expert in these matters, but a lot of these stories could have been avoided if the people involved had thought about things for a bit.
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And that is just my point: we men have a naturally-produced poison in our bollox that makes us do stupid things. I propose a national system whereby said poisons are removed, for the benefit of society. This reminds me of an incident I observed as a student:
I was being showed around the hospital before I started radiography, just to see if I was really sure I should follow that career. The dude showing me around was a male charge nurse, and he had been at that hospital for more than twenty years.
Anyway we were on the urology ward and heard this wheezing and groaning coming from behind a curtain on the ward, and I sneaked a look, only to observe a nurse giving a patient a hand job !! :-o
I was gobsmacked. I said "What the hell, man?"
The charge nurse told me it was all legit. The man had a medical condition where he over-produced sperm and if it wasn't relieved from time to time, he would suffer terrible orchiditis and could end up sterile. Seemed like a valid reason to me, so we moved on to the next cubicle. I snuck a look in there, and what did I see? A nurse giving a man a blow-job!!! :-o :-o :-o
I couldn't believe this, so I turned to the charge nurse and said "Lemme guess, he has the same disease as the other man?"
"Sure," said the charge nurse.
"Well why is the one guy getting a hand-job and the other a blow job?" I asked.
"The second patient has private insurance," said the charge nurse.
:lol:
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So has anyone here actually posted on b3ta....?
@x-ray
Nice one, I think I'm going to renew my private medical insurance.
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@xray
:lol:
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Hehe
A joke has to be told once in a while, yes. The medical ones are the best because you just KNOW that there will be an element of truth to it, afterall :-)
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So has anyone here actually posted on b3ta....?
No, I have met with some weird women, but these specimens are in a category all their own. I think 'alien' is a suitable word. 'Alien from another universe', that is.
That said, I always tell my girlfriend---whom I've been with for over 3 years now---that she is the most normal of the lot. She always objects against that designation, but as far as I'm concerned, it's both a compliment as well as the truth. She's not into some weirdo religion (in the broadest sense of the word), doesn't have an agenda which crammed from here to infinity and thereby treating a friend as someone she'd 'plan' into her life, doesn't have deep emotional scars (apart from a far too early deceased father), has no physical disabilities as far as I can tell, and so forth. When I read the above stories on b3ta, all the women / men involved are in some way scarred and have not yet grown over it. If things between me and my sweetheart would collapse, and I'd decide to go out dating again, I'd make sure to look for a 'normal' woman again---but only once I myself would be able to act normal and like myself again.
As for removing the poisons, be glad that you at least behave 'naturally'. In a Belgian newspaper an article appeared the other day in which it was reported that a Buddhist monk cut off his own penis after it went erect during meditation. He declined attempts to sew it back on, claiming that he was now free of all worldly distractions and influences. Which is a crap argument as far as I'm concerned: he must have had tons of nightly erections---all men do. What he was saying is that he was deeply embarrassed at his own body. (Who knows what kinky thoughts he was meditating about behind that smooth façade of his face...) You can go to far in attempting to control your manly urges. Personally, I wish him lots of bladder infections to remind himself of his stupidity---I have had one (which is highly unusual for men due to their penis forming an additional barrier, or so I was told), and I can vouch for the fact that they are extremely annoying and painful.
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@ Cymric
Ja, a urinary tract infection is no joke. The girls tend to get them more, despite my helpful reminders in the staff-room that they must not wipe from back to front :evilgrin:
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X-ray wrote:
@ Cymric
Ja, a urinary tract infection is no joke. The girls tend to get them more, despite my helpful reminders in the staff-room that they must not wipe from back to front :evilgrin:
:lol:
Vigorous nookie can sometimes provoke it too...