Amiga.org
Coffee House => Coffee House Boards => CH / General => Topic started by: smithy on April 30, 2004, 10:42:19 AM
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I'm going to have a bit of a whinge about womankind.
I went on a date on Tuesday, and it seemed to go ok. Maybe a bit of a fat bum, but she was quite nice looking and we got on quite well.
Well, after it was all over she texted me and said she'd had a nice time and would I like to go out again as friends. Right, read that sentence again! Can it be anything but a fob off? No problem I thought, that's fine. However, after having a chat with her yesterday it seems that she actually meant she wanted to go on a 2nd date. Why didn't she just say that instead of making me believe she wasn't interested?
So, tomorrow we're off to the cinema and then out for a few drinks. God only knows what she will say afterwards, and maybe even God doesn't know what it'll mean. I like people who talk straight, and I am feeling a bit stressed out at the prospect of having to deal with her after tomorrow's date. Do you reckon I should just cancel or go through it with? And if I do, then what do I do when I want to know what happens next and I'm faced with her woman-speak?
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Maybe she wants you to be "more friendly"? :-)
You have to admit, women are better than nothing.
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> Well, after it was all over she texted me and said she'd had a nice time and would I like to go out again as friends.
:lol:
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Smithy wrote:
Well, after it was all over she texted me and said she'd had a nice time and would I like to go out again as friends. Right, read that sentence again! Can it be anything but a fob off?
Have you considered that she didn't mean it the way you took it? I know that 'lets just be friends' is the ultimate polite womanish brushoff, but she might not have known that, or been thinking about it at the time she made the text. And some women actually do consider potential lovers as friends, at least at first. Crazy but true.
Mikeymike wrote:
You have to admit, women are better than nothing.
No I don't. I think nothing is marginally more entertaining.
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smithy: I completely understand your wish for clarity, women are still brought up with alot of conflicting notions and that makes life stressful. and I'm not a mindreader (like, Who is?), but I'll offer a few ideas and see if it makes some sense.
maybe(?), she likes you but wants to take things slowly. and she's afraid of either her own feelings or yours. afraid that things may move too quickly.
anyway, if this is a first date, then, that's ALL it is and no one should be fantasizing it into anything bigger.
give yourself and her enough time to get to know each other so that there isn't anything like "woman-speak" between you. While it's always nice to know a guy has testoserone, sometimes - for some girls at certain times - it can be intimidating. give her a chance to figure out how to deal with it.
relax and just enjoy the date. the only thing we really have is the present. just focus on that.
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Mikeymike wrote:
You have to admit, women are better than nothing.
KennyR wrote:
No I don't. I think nothing is marginally more entertaining.
I think you need to get out more :-)
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smithy wrote:
I'm going to have a bit of a whinge about womankind.
I went on a date on Tuesday, and it seemed to go ok. Maybe a bit of a fat bum, but she was quite nice looking and we got on quite well.
Well, after it was all over she texted me and said she'd had a nice time and would I like to go out again as friends. Right, read that sentence again! Can it be anything but a fob off? No problem I thought, that's fine. However, after having a chat with her yesterday it seems that she actually meant she wanted to go on a 2nd date. Why didn't she just say that instead of making me believe she wasn't interested?
So, tomorrow we're off to the cinema and then out for a few drinks. God only knows what she will say afterwards, and maybe even God doesn't know what it'll mean. I like people who talk straight, and I am feeling a bit stressed out at the prospect of having to deal with her after tomorrow's date. Do you reckon I should just cancel or go through it with? And if I do, then what do I do when I want to know what happens next and I'm faced with her woman-speak?
Depends if you just want to shag her. If you become friends then that is the bais of a potential relationship, if you just give her a seeing to then you won't be friends after the fact most likely. My missus is my best friend, and she always will be.
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I think knowing how old she is would be a useful bit of info for advice to be given.
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KennyR wrote:
Smithy wrote:
Well, after it was all over she texted me and said she'd had a nice time and would I like to go out again as friends. Right, read that sentence again! Can it be anything but a fob off?
Have you considered that she didn't mean it the way you took it? I know that 'lets just be friends' is the ultimate polite womanish brushoff, but she might not have known that, or been thinking about it at the time she made the text. And some women actually do consider potential lovers as friends, at least at first. Crazy but true.
Mikeymike wrote:
You have to admit, women are better than nothing.
No I don't. I think nothing is marginally more entertaining.
Women are the most entertaining thing in this world! Even when they are screaming at you and they hate your guts (Usually two days each month! /me ducks!), it makes you feel alive.
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mdma wrote:
My missus is my best friend, and she always will be.
It doesn't get any better than that. :-)
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T_Bone wrote:
mdma wrote:
My missus is my best friend, and she always will be.
It doesn't get any better than that. :-)
Maybe the unconditional love from your child, but it's very close! :-)
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KennyR wrote:
Smithy wrote:
Well, after it was all over she texted me and said she'd had a nice time and would I like to go out again as friends. Right, read that sentence again! Can it be anything but a fob off?
Have you considered that she didn't mean it the way you took it? I know that 'lets just be friends' is the ultimate polite womanish brushoff, but she might not have known that, or been thinking about it at the time she made the text. And some women actually do consider potential lovers as friends, at least at first. Crazy but true.
Mikeymike wrote:
You have to admit, women are better than nothing.
No I don't. I think nothing is marginally more entertaining.
Women are the most entertaining thing in this world! Even when they are screaming at you and they hate your guts (Usually two days each month! /me ducks!), it makes you feel alive.
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@cecilia
Thanks for your advice. I think the problem is that I feel very defensive and cautious because I am unsure what she wants from me. In the past normally after my first dates, we've both known whether we fancy each other and get on well enough for a 2nd date. And with her, I thought she was quite fanciable and we got on well enough for me to want a 2nd date. Despite her making me believe she wasn't interested, she said yesterday that she likes me, doesn't know where she wants it go and won't say whether she finds me attractive, but wants a 2nd date to decide, and wants to take it slow, this is new to me, because normally I believe that if you don't click first time then it's not meant to be. Personally, I think this has already been far too much hassle from a person I've only met once and I'm worried I'm paving the way for even more hassle.
@mdma
My position is that after 1 date I like what I see and I fancy her, and I'd like to get to know her better. Her position is that she likes what she sees, doesn't know if she fancies me, and wants to get to know me better.
@KennyR
I think you are right in that she didn't mean it the way I took it. But it's too late for that now, cos now I feel very cautious and uncertain and a bit stressed out about it all!
@mikeymike
She is 24, I'm 25.
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smithy wrote:
I'm going to have a bit of a whinge about womankind.
I went on a date on Tuesday, and it seemed to go ok. Maybe a bit of a fat bum, but she was quite nice looking and we got on quite well.
Well, after it was all over she texted me and said she'd had a nice time and would I like to go out again as friends. Right, read that sentence again! Can it be anything but a fob off? No problem I thought, that's fine. However, after having a chat with her yesterday it seems that she actually meant she wanted to go on a 2nd date. Why didn't she just say that instead of making me believe she wasn't interested?
So, tomorrow we're off to the cinema and then out for a few drinks. God only knows what she will say afterwards, and maybe even God doesn't know what it'll mean. I like people who talk straight, and I am feeling a bit stressed out at the prospect of having to deal with her after tomorrow's date. Do you reckon I should just cancel or go through it with? And if I do, then what do I do when I want to know what happens next and I'm faced with her woman-speak?
The statement seems specifically worded to allow you to back out if you wish.
In fact she was making life easier for you.
I have been in situations where I had "spent and evening with a lady" then he next day I wasn't sure where I stood, so the Text message I send the next has to be positive but slightly non-commital.
I can assure you that she was not trying to confuse you. But instead she is actually rather keen. You must remember that although she doesn't show it, she is desparate for a relationship.
I would urge you follow it through, and be very positive with her, it will make her feel more relaxed and more open to suggestion.
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I think Matt's got it.
And try not to denounce the entire gender based on a misunderstanding. :-)
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I think Matt's got it.
I think Matt's being hopelessly optimistic. I think "keen" is many many steps too high! Well we're going out again tomorrow evening, I'll let you know what happens on Sunday. My plan is this:
1. Go out on saturday evening
2. Don't text her til sunday morning to find out what the score is. This way it might negate some of my already over-anxiety.
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How about meeting up for a coffee or something during the day? It might help keep things easy-going.
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smithy wrote:
I think Matt's got it.
I think Matt's being hopelessly optimistic. I think "keen" is many many steps too high! Well we're going out again tomorrow evening, I'll let you know what happens on Sunday. My plan is this:
1. Go out on saturday evening
2. Don't text her til sunday morning to find out what the score is. This way it might negate some of my already over-anxiety.
Well you know me :-D
Firstly I can assure you she's probably thinking much the same as you, with all the fears and the doubts.
The problem comes when you start thinking about them. Ignore them, assume that she is totally into you and go out and have a good time. Mikeymike says coffee, that's a really good idea... meet for about half an hour have a coffee... then suggest the pub... have a few drinks there, make sure you are paying the whole time.... then suggest a meal, which is great if you are in a gastropub (weatherspoons etc...) as you can order a bunch of fun side orders like chips/potato wedges.
Make sure that you pay for everything.
Keep the conversation flowing at all times, avoid the subject of sex until you know her better. If she talks, shut up imediately and then do all that you can to keep her talking, a few leading questions based on what she's just said always go down a treat.
when stuck, ust use a witty anecdote about your life, always be self depreciating.
But most of all, Have fun... or it's going to suck for both of you.
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mdma wrote:
Maybe the unconditional love from your child, but it's very close! :-)
:love: Life rules :-)
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@smithy
It may be 2004, but birds that perform on the first date still get a rep and it's not good to be a slut. She didn't have to text you afterwards, but she did. She said that she'd like to go out again. She didn't have to do that. "As friends", well, I can see how you could interpret this as a fob, but the "let's just be friends" usually happens later when it means forget about it. Right now maybe she doesn't want to be seen as easy.
(Then again, she might just want to get close to a friend of yours. You never can tell how devious chicks can get, but if that were the case she'd probably be coming on a little stronger then stringing you along).
Basically it seems like an open invite and you're not overly invested emotionally at this point so if you like her and you wanna see what happens, just go along with the flow.
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smithy wrote:
I think Matt's got it.
I think Matt's being hopelessly optimistic. I think "keen" is many many steps too high! Well we're going out again tomorrow evening, I'll let you know what happens on Sunday. My plan is this:
1. Go out on saturday evening
2. Don't text her til sunday morning to find out what the score is. This way it might negate some of my already over-anxiety.
honey, you need to [color=0066CC]RELAX[/color] or your head will explode! :lol:
it's only a freaking date!
trust me...as someone who is seeing this from the other side, no girl wants to spend an afternoon with a guy that is so uncomfortable that he's vibrating!
:nervous:
just be your witty, wonderful self and the day will be fun.
:-P
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with a guy that is so uncomfortable that he's vibrating!
Did you think twice about writing that? :-)
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mikeymike wrote:
with a guy that is so uncomfortable that he's vibrating!
Did you think twice about writing that? :-)
i'm saying nothing! :lol:
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smithy wrote:
she'd had a nice time and would I like to go out again as friends.
WARNING! WARNING! DANGER, WILL ROBINSON!!
I can already feel the jet engines sputtering. :lol:
Seriously, it sounds like a blow off, but she could want 'friends with benefits.' :-P Always a plus in MY book!!! :-D
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@bloodline
Make sure that you pay for everything
Well, over here in The Netherlands most women like to go Double Dutch on a date. No, it has nothing remotely to do with a rubber and pill (it depends who you're dating of course :lol: ;-)), but it means she wants to pay her half of the dinner and drinks :-)
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You should watch Oprah and Dr. Phil more often to understand this woman-speak :lol: I think a lot of guys would like to have the power to hear everything women are thinking, just like Mel Gibson in the movie 'What Women Want' :-D
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Why don't women speak english?
Because they speak Dutch :-P
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Damn.. I should read before I make a new topic...
No MA'AM (http://www.eebell.net/mwc/charter.jpg)
;-)
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Why don't women speak english?
Because they speak Dutch :-P
"Gronings" more like then...
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A related point:
Women don't like to seem too over eager in my experience, as society still very much views relationships in the way that men are expected to do all the propositioning and therefore women don't always want to come on too strong.
Case in point - I remember a girl on my Masters course. Lovely girl she was, one of the kindest people I had ever met; Yet she always used to agonise about a boy she fancied, "Why won't he ask me out?!"
My response - "Why don't you ask HIM out, it is 2002!".
Her reply - "Oh no! I can't do that!"
My response - "Why not?!"
Her reply - "It's just not the done thing?"
WTF!?
Its the 21st century FFS! Sexual equality hasn't come very far judging by her predicament!
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CD32Freak wrote:
You should watch Oprah and Dr. Phil more often to understand this woman-speak :lol: I think a lot of guys would like to have the power to hear everything women are thinking, just like Mel Gibson in the movie 'What Women Want' :-D
no thanks! this is one of the reasons very few of my friends are females. I don't need to be agrivated by wackyness - especially if I don't need to date them!!! :lol:
Its the 21st century FFS! Sexual equality hasn't come very far judging by her predicament!
it's hard for most people to overcome the effects of shame. it's easier to be cautious.
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T_Bone wrote:
mdma wrote:
Maybe the unconditional love from your child, but it's very close! :-)
:love: Life rules :-)
You guys suck...
;)
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no thanks! this is one of the reasons very few of my friends are females.
:-D
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iamaboringperson wrote:
T_Bone wrote:
mdma wrote:
Maybe the unconditional love from your child, but it's very close! :-)
:love: Life rules :-)
You guys suck...
;)
:lol:
Dude! If you came over here, you'd have to do little more than play up an Australian accent, make up a few Crockodile wrestling stories, and you'd have more girlfriends than you could shake a stick at! :-P
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T_Bone wrote:
Dude! If you came over here, you'd have to do little more than play up an Australian accent, make up a few Crockodile wrestling stories, and you'd have more girlfriends than you could shake a stick at! :-P
If this thing about US chicks liking that crappy stereotypical Australian accent is true, I'll be going there! :-D :-D :-D :-D
Now for a story...
"I remember when I lived back in molongagoolachuck and I was running from a KOALA BEAR, when all of a sudden, I saw this MASSIVE crock in my back yard!! So I wrestled him. He was tough, but no match for me..."
Okay, that's the story, now I need to work on that accent...
:-D
--edit:
iamaboringperson believes that life is about Sara Lee :- )
(http://www.saraleebakery.com.au/images/product/ice_cream_new.jpg)
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no one is interested in a "crappy stereotypical Australian accent". A real, honest Australian accent, or a real Glasgow or Higlander (which is different) accent is lovely also.
a real accent is like music. you never tire of hearing it.
and it works if you'er slim. Just an FYI. good luck on your quest. :-P
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cecilia wrote:
no one is interested in a "crappy stereotypical Australian accent". A real, honest Australian accent, or a real Glasgow or Higlander (which is different) accent is lovely also.
I'm sure you also meant to include my cliped South Eastern English accent too! :lol:
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'm sure you also meant to include my cliped South Eastern English accent too!
sure, well, i wasn't sure what your accent is - hard to hear it over the web :lol:
one of these days we'll have headphones/mics hooked up to our various computers so we can just talk to each other "normally". won't THAT be fun?
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cecilia wrote:
one of these days we'll have headphones/mics hooked up to our various computers so we can just talk to each other "normally". won't THAT be fun?
:nervous:
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that_punk_guy wrote:
cecilia wrote:
one of these days we'll have headphones/mics hooked up to our various computers so we can just talk to each other "normally". won't THAT be fun?
:nervous:
Hear hear :-) The first thing I did on configuring Counter-Strike was to switch off the voice mod. It's hard to imagine a SWAT team/terrorist force that sounds like a bunch of geeks who don't get out often enough :-)
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what could be scarier than the Faces of AmigaOrg????
:roflmao:
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mikeymike wrote:
Hear hear :-) The first thing I did on configuring Counter-Strike was to switch off the voice mod. It's hard to imagine a SWAT team/terrorist force that sounds like a bunch of geeks who don't get out often enough :-)
:lol:
:roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao:
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Well sorry to go off-topic, but the date was ok. After it was over, I decided I would just ask her straight out what happaned now and she said just wanted to be friends!
Ahh.
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smithy wrote:
Well sorry to go off-topic, but the date was ok. After it was over, I decided I would just ask her straight out what happaned now and she said just wanted to be friends!
Ahh.
And... :roll:
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cecilia wrote:
what could be scarier than the Faces of AmigaOrg????
:roflmao:
Faces of AmigaOrg with your picture on it? :-D
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And...
Umm.. that's it!
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So when are you going out again? This time remember more alcohol.
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So when are you going out again? This time remember more alcohol.
We aren't! No more dates with her unfortunately :-(
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smithy wrote:
So when are you going out again? This time remember more alcohol.
We aren't! No more dates with her unfortunately :-(
Sometimes I think you like to fail before you try :-(
Stop being so damn British ;-) If you want her go and get her!
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Sometimes I think you like to fail before you try
Stop being so damn British If you want her go and get her!
I did try - and she made it clear she's not interested!
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smithy wrote:
Sometimes I think you like to fail before you try
Stop being so damn British If you want her go and get her!
I did try - and she made it clear she's not interested!
She's a Woman, she has no idea if she's interested or not!
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bloodline wrote:
smithy wrote:
Sometimes I think you like to fail before you try
Stop being so damn British If you want her go and get her!
I did try - and she made it clear she's not interested!
She's a Woman, she has no idea if she's interested or not!
:lol:
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whabang wrote:
cecilia wrote:
what could be scarier than the Faces of AmigaOrg????
:roflmao:
Faces of AmigaOrg with your picture on it? :-D
why do you think i don't send it in?? :lol:
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cecilia wrote:
no one is interested in a "crappy stereotypical Australian accent". A real, honest Australian accent, or a real Glasgow or Higlander (which is different) accent is lovely also.
Um ... it was a joke... but seriously folks!
good luck on your quest. :-P
:-P
Erm thanks.... (I guess)
I probably have a better chance at winning a game of "snakes and ladders" game (I'm the current state champion at that game ;). At least in that I actually have a chance at winning... :boohoo: :sniff: :boohoohoo: :-(
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T_Bone wrote:
mdma wrote:
Maybe the unconditional love from your child, but it's very close! :-)
:love: Life rules :-)
It certainly does! :-)
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bloodline wrote:
cecilia wrote:
no one is interested in a "crappy stereotypical Australian accent". A real, honest Australian accent, or a real Glasgow or Higlander (which is different) accent is lovely also.
I'm sure you also meant to include my cliped South Eastern English accent too! :lol:
And my dulcet Lancashire tones, interspersed with Brummie and London town to mellow it out. No one can tell where i'm from! :-)
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bloodline wrote:
smithy wrote:
Sometimes I think you like to fail before you try
Stop being so damn British If you want her go and get her!
I did try - and she made it clear she's not interested!
She's a Woman, she has no idea if she's interested or not!
Maybe you were too nice, women like you to be a bit "masterful", make decisions for them occasionally. They like it!. Cecilia help me out here, you'll be able to explain it better. I don't mean order them about or anything, but don't be a doormat. It's difficult being a modern man and a {bleep} at the same time, but it keeps you on your toes! :-) Text her, "8pm, 'NAME OF LOCAL BAR', Friday night, don't be late" then just show up. God loves a tryer remember.
Oohhh.... The Thrill of The Chase....... I remember it fondly! ;-)
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mdma wrote:
God loves a tryer remember.
Hear, conservatives, hear!
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Hear, hear!!!
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Maybe you were too nice, women like you to be a bit "masterful", make decisions for them occasionally. They like it!. Cecilia help me out here, you'll be able to explain it better. I don't mean order them about or anything, but don't be a doormat. It's difficult being a modern man and a {bleep} at the same time, but it keeps you on your toes! Text her, "8pm, 'NAME OF LOCAL BAR', Friday night, don't be late" then just show up. God loves a tryer remember.
ok, i'll do my best: while it's ok for a guy to ask my opinion of where i might want to go and do, or go and eat, if i get asked ALL the time, there's no opportunity for surprise. no chance to see what the guy likes to do and therefore no way to really do any communicating.
plus, it feels like the guy is only a slave to my wishes. and while that may sound ok to some people, trust me, it can be a bore. it also means i have to make ALL the decisions. and that's tiresome.
the one thing that will kill any relationship - old or new - is predictablity and boredom. if you knew exactly what the guy will say and do, there's no surprise, no tension, no excitment.
what girls want is some excitment. some unpredictability. no, not a massmurderer or a criminal, but someone with the balls to be himself without being a freaking bully. having an opinion and not being afraid to state it is sexy. if you like a girl, just say so! ghod damn it! don't be such a puss!
even if it shocks her. maybe, when she has time to think about it, she'll like it!
don't be afraid to shake people up. it's attractive to be a bit "wild".
trust me. :-P
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what girls want is some excitement. some unpredictability. no, not a massmurderer or a criminal
Damn, maybe that's why I can't get any dates!
:lol:
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(http://www.buttercupdays.co.uk/images/1299.jpg.jpg)
:-)
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@ iamaboringperson
So keep her in suspense, it may be a candlelit dinner, an evening at her favourite opera or play, maybe something more adventurous - an afternoon of go-karting, perhaps even a bungee jump...but to really get her eating out of the palm of your hand......yes, that's right, a game of snakes and ladders :lol:
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cecilia wrote:
ok, i'll do my best: while it's ok for a guy to ask my opinion of where i might want to go and do, or go and eat, if i get asked ALL the time, there's no opportunity for surprise. no chance to see what the guy likes to do and therefore no way to really do any communicating.
So I am in order arranging a fun date downhill mountain biking, competing in a triathlon or perhaps spending all day drinking beer?
;-)
plus, it feels like the guy is only a slave to my wishes. and while that may sound ok to some people, trust me, it can be a bore. it also means i have to make ALL the decisions. and that's tiresome.
HALLELUJAH! That means I can use some "creativity" in selecting the venue of a prospective date, safe in the knowledge that she'll enjoy being surprised. Boy will she be surprised when I turn up with a a load of spare biking gear.... Or maybe suggesting a beer festival?
what girls want is some excitment. some unpredictability. no, not a massmurderer or a criminal, but someone with the balls to be himself without being a freaking bully. having an opinion and not being afraid to state it is sexy. if you like a girl, just say so! ghod damn it! don't be such a puss!
even if it shocks her. maybe, when she has time to think about it, she'll like it!
don't be afraid to shake people up. it's attractive to be a bit "wild".
trust me. :-P
So downhill mountain biking is a guaranteed lady-puller then? LOL!
Sorry Cecilia for having a little fun at your expense here, but it's Thursday, I'm at work an in a mischeivous mood...
On this subject, I think it's always best to be or appear to be happy and comfortable with yourself. You wouldn't want to talk to an attractive, but miserable looking lass and the same is true when it comes to us blokes. Regardless of how well you scrub up, you'll never turn a lady's head unless you appear to be at ease with yourself...
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PMC wrote:
So I am in order arranging a fun date downhill mountain biking, competing in a triathlon or perhaps spending all day drinking beer?
;-)
well, i would! :lol: :lol:
HALLELUJAH! That means I can use some "creativity" in selecting the venue of a prospective date, safe in the knowledge that she'll enjoy being surprised. Boy will she be surprised when I turn up with a a load of spare biking gear.... Or maybe suggesting a beer festival?
well, one can TRY. sometimes a guy took me somewhere that made me uncomfortable at first - i just wasn't ready for it. but eventually, i "got it". learning new things is part of living.
so, even if a girl goes, "eeeewww", it's not the end of the world. you may have done her a favor. even if you don't see that right away.
the trick is to have enough self confidence to not be intimidated by someone elses mind set. if she doesn't feel the same about something as you, it's HER issue. not yours. don't bend yourself into a pretsel over another person.
On this subject, I think it's always best to be or appear to be happy and comfortable with yourself. You wouldn't want to talk to an attractive, but miserable looking lass and the same is true when it comes to us blokes. Regardless of how well you scrub up, you'll never turn a lady's head unless you appear to be at ease with yourself...
absolulty, being happy with yourself shows confidence.
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@cecilia & mdma
Yeah I know what you mean about being too "nice". I suspect this might have been part of the problem, not seeming assertive or confident enough. It's quite difficult, and I suppose there's a fine line between showing too much opinion and too little. Well I'll remember that for the next date I have (however far away that may be!) and try to be a bit more normal! It's too late to go out again with her, but hopefully it won't be too long before someone else comes along...
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smithy wrote:
@cecilia & mdma
Yeah I know what you mean about being too "nice".
Ah, the old, "Your too nice to go out with" scenario. All the girls see you as a really nice guy, but they just want to be friends? I think this touches on what Cecilia was saying... A nice, caring sensitive man isn't always sexy and exciting.
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smithy wrote:
@cecilia & mdma
Yeah I know what you mean about being too "nice". I suspect this might have been part of the problem, not seeming assertive or confident enough. It's quite difficult, and I suppose there's a fine line between showing too much opinion and too little. Well I'll remember that for the next date I have (however far away that may be!) and try to be a bit more normal! It's too late to go out again with her, but hopefully it won't be too long before someone else comes along...
Quitter :-(
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cecilia wrote:
Maybe you were too nice, women like you to be a bit "masterful", make decisions for them occasionally. They like it!. Cecilia help me out here, you'll be able to explain it better. I don't mean order them about or anything, but don't be a doormat. It's difficult being a modern man and a {bleep} at the same time, but it keeps you on your toes! Text her, "8pm, 'NAME OF LOCAL BAR', Friday night, don't be late" then just show up. God loves a tryer remember.
ok, i'll do my best: while it's ok for a guy to ask my opinion of where i might want to go and do, or go and eat, if i get asked ALL the time, there's no opportunity for surprise. no chance to see what the guy likes to do and therefore no way to really do any communicating.
plus, it feels like the guy is only a slave to my wishes. and while that may sound ok to some people, trust me, it can be a bore. it also means i have to make ALL the decisions. and that's tiresome.
the one thing that will kill any relationship - old or new - is predictablity and boredom. if you knew exactly what the guy will say and do, there's no surprise, no tension, no excitment.
what girls want is some excitment. some unpredictability. no, not a massmurderer or a criminal, but someone with the balls to be himself without being a freaking bully. having an opinion and not being afraid to state it is sexy. if you like a girl, just say so! ghod damn it! don't be such a puss!
even if it shocks her. maybe, when she has time to think about it, she'll like it!
don't be afraid to shake people up. it's attractive to be a bit "wild".
trust me. :-P
That's a damn attractive quality you have there! ;-)
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bloodline wrote:
smithy wrote:
@cecilia & mdma
Yeah I know what you mean about being too "nice". I suspect this might have been part of the problem, not seeming assertive or confident enough. It's quite difficult, and I suppose there's a fine line between showing too much opinion and too little. Well I'll remember that for the next date I have (however far away that may be!) and try to be a bit more normal! It's too late to go out again with her, but hopefully it won't be too long before someone else comes along...
Quitter :-(
Good point. Persistence does work!
I remember a certain young lady stopped talking to me, in fact for months. She was the first, and I think only girl who I ever loved. I wanted to be with her so much, to hear her voice again, to look into her beautiful eyes, to..[you get the idea]. She started to ignore emails, letters etc, but I never gave up.
Finally I got to her..I sent her a poem on Valentine's day last year that took me hours and hours to write. She couldn't help but reply, she was obviously moved by it (or more likely the obvious amount of effort on my part) and when she did....I can't describe the feeling...All I could do, all I wanted to do was run - I went out running, with a huge grin on my face, for about half an hour. I went down the pub that evening...two different people commented, "Did you get your end away last night? I haven't seen you smile like that for ages"
"Something like that", I replied... :lol:
Oh {bleep}, I'm starting to feel longing now...
I feel all soppy, [big hug!]
Feel the love people!!!
:love:
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[snicker] I have found that refusing to commit has its benefits, Smithy. I seem to attract MORE women when *I* say 'I just want to be friends'.
Don't get me wrong, I'd like a commitment, but I want one like I had with my ex-wife, just with us BOTH compromising, instead of just ME compromising. I said it when I was 6, so I'm told and I still stand by it:
"Girls are strange people!" :lol:
[EDIT] - And never, EVER, forget the Tequila. :-P
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Cyberus wrote:
Feel the love people!!!
:love:
aye! :pint:
I mean:
:love:
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Methuselas wrote:
I seem to attract MORE women when *I* say 'I just want to be friends'.
I know exactly what you're talking about. :lol:
:-(
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Speelgoedmannetje wrote:
Methuselas wrote:
I seem to attract MORE women when *I* say 'I just want to be friends'.
I know exactly what you're talking about. :lol:
:-(
:lol:
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T_Bone wrote:
Speelgoedmannetje wrote:
Methuselas wrote:
I seem to attract MORE women when *I* say 'I just want to be friends'.
I know exactly what you're talking about. :lol:
:-(
:lol:
Well I'm single, and enjoying my freedom right now but I find I'm getting more female attention now than ever before. Isn't life strange?
A lot of it is to do with how you appear. I'm happy in life now and it reflects when I go out and smile inanely a lot.
Here's a gratuitous grin
:-D
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Cool, glad to hear it.
:-D :-D :-D
I feel really good too at the moment, in fact, in the last two to three weeks, as the weather has started to improve and the days have got longer, my mood has lifted hugely.
Anyone else experienced this?
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Cyberus wrote:
@ iamaboringperson
So keep her in suspense, it may be a candlelit dinner, an evening at her favourite opera or play, maybe something more adventurous - an afternoon of go-karting, perhaps even a bungee jump...but to really get her eating out of the palm of your hand......yes, that's right, a game of snakes and ladders :lol:
WHO??
I'm not going to be playing snakes and ladders (or even Monopoly[tm] for that matter) with any chick. I'm going to end up as an eccentric old hermit. :-)
I just have to accept that fact. If I don't laugh, I'll cry. :-)
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iamaboringperson wrote:
Cyberus wrote:
@ iamaboringperson
So keep her in suspense, it may be a candlelit dinner, an evening at her favourite opera or play, maybe something more adventurous - an afternoon of go-karting, perhaps even a bungee jump...but to really get her eating out of the palm of your hand......yes, that's right, a game of snakes and ladders :lol:
WHO??
I'm not going to be playing snakes and ladders (or even Monopoly[tm] for that matter) with any chick. I'm going to end up as an eccentric old hermit. :-)
I just have to accept that fact. If I don't laugh, I'll cry. :-)
Ah, mate. What you need to do is learn to let go...
Relax and let go...
You'll meet someone and fall in love with them. You just have to let yourself fall in love. And don't let any stupid hangups hold you back...
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You'll meet someone and fall in love with them. You just have to let yourself fall in love. And don't let any stupid hangups hold you back...
Falling in love is only half the story. I fall in love just about every day.
Nope. I'm going to be one of those 'the comic book guy' dudes.
(But if I get really desperate, I'll just contact the Unification Church. They'll set me up in no time ;)
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iamaboringperson wrote:
Falling in love is only half the story. I fall in love just about every day.
Nope. I'm going to be one of those 'the comic book guy' dudes.
worse...
post...
ever...
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cecilia wrote:
iamaboringperson wrote:
Falling in love is only half the story. I fall in love just about every day.
Nope. I'm going to be one of those 'the comic book guy' dudes.
worse...
post...
ever...
:roflmao:
(http://www.ncaabbs.com/newgraemlins/BestThread.jpg)
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Cyberus wrote:
Cool, glad to hear it.
:-D :-D :-D
I feel really good too at the moment, in fact, in the last two to three weeks, as the weather has started to improve and the days have got longer, my mood has lifted hugely.
Anyone else experienced this?
Yep...
The sun is shining, it's warm, I'm off for a week of mountain biking in North Wales soon and I'm still grinning inanely.
This is despite the fact that my Apollo accelerator on my trusty Amiga's just bitten the dust....
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iamaboringperson wrote:
You'll meet someone and fall in love with them. You just have to let yourself fall in love. And don't let any stupid hangups hold you back...
Falling in love is only half the story. I fall in love just about every day.
Falling in love isn't quite the same as getting an errection :-/
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bloodline wrote:
iamaboringperson wrote:
You'll meet someone and fall in love with them. You just have to let yourself fall in love. And don't let any stupid hangups hold you back...
Falling in love is only half the story. I fall in love just about every day.
Falling in love isn't quite the same as getting an errection :-/
I agree. It's a totally different thing. It's the difference between love and lust.
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sumner7 wrote:
bloodline wrote:
Falling in love is only half the story. I fall in love just about every day.
Falling in love isn't quite the same as getting an errection :-/
I agree. It's a totally different thing. It's the difference between love and lust.[/quote]
What? You mean you only get one erection a day?
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I've been with my wife since 1974 and I still cannot figure out what she means on occasion. Never got the hang of mind reading. Women often have a habit of surrounding the subject of their conversations rather than talking about it directly.
Show her your original post and she might retract what she txt msg'd.
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bloodline wrote:
iamaboringperson wrote:
You'll meet someone and fall in love with them. You just have to let yourself fall in love. And don't let any stupid hangups hold you back...
Falling in love is only half the story. I fall in love just about every day.
Falling in love isn't quite the same as getting an errection :-/
:lol:
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PMC wrote:
sumner7 wrote:
Quote:
bloodline wrote:
Falling in love is only half the story. I fall in love just about every day.
Falling in love isn't quite the same as getting an errection :-/
I agree. It's a totally different thing. It's the difference between love and lust.
What? You mean you only get one erection a day?
:lol: :roll: :lol:
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6 wrote:
I've been with my wife since 1974 and I still cannot figure out what she means on occasion. Never got the hang of mind reading. Women often have a habit of surrounding the subject of their conversations rather than talking about it directly.
Show her your original post and she might retract what she txt msg'd.
@ 6
Women have wholly embraced the dark side. They're all Sith lords in my book.
They're inherently evil. They say one thing, but mean another. They will deliberately mislead you, only to blame you later for not knowing what they were talking about.
And my all time fav:
They never forget the simplest slight, yet expect you to forget EVERYTHING they've ever done against you.
Ask any man and he'll agree with me...
...unless he's pussywhipped. :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Methuselas wrote:
...unless he's pussywhipped. :lol: :lol: :lol:
Thankyouverymuch.
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Methuselas wrote:
6 wrote:
I've been with my wife since 1974 and I still cannot figure out what she means on occasion. Never got the hang of mind reading. Women often have a habit of surrounding the subject of their conversations rather than talking about it directly.
Show her your original post and she might retract what she txt msg'd.
@ 6
Women have wholly embraced the dark side. They're all Sith lords in my book.
:lol:
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Methuselas wrote:
6 wrote:
I've been with my wife since 1974 and I still cannot figure out what she means on occasion. Never got the hang of mind reading. Women often have a habit of surrounding the subject of their conversations rather than talking about it directly.
Show her your original post and she might retract what she txt msg'd.
@ 6
Women have wholly embraced the dark side. They're all Sith lords in my book.
They're inherently evil. They say one thing, but mean another. They will deliberately mislead you, only to blame you later for not knowing what they were talking about.
And my all time fav:
They never forget the simplest slight, yet expect you to forget EVERYTHING they've ever done against you.
Ask any man and he'll agree with me...
...unless he's pussywhipped. :lol: :lol: :lol:
Are you recently separated by any chance?
:-D
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Methuselas wrote:
6 wrote:
I've been with my wife since 1974 and I still cannot figure out what she means on occasion. Never got the hang of mind reading. Women often have a habit of surrounding the subject of their conversations rather than talking about it directly.
Show her your original post and she might retract what she txt msg'd.
@ 6
Women have wholly embraced the dark side. They're all Sith lords in my book.
They're inherently evil. They say one thing, but mean another. They will deliberately mislead you, only to blame you later for not knowing what they were talking about.
And my all time fav:
They never forget the simplest slight, yet expect you to forget EVERYTHING they've ever done against you.
Ask any man and he'll agree with me...
...unless he's pussywhipped. :lol: :lol: :lol:
Are you recently separated by any chance?
:-D