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Coffee House => Coffee House Boards => CH / General => Topic started by: redrumloa on March 25, 2004, 05:32:37 PM

Title: Gay men acting badly, doing the ugly in public.
Post by: redrumloa on March 25, 2004, 05:32:37 PM
Someone explain this to me, as I am helplessly heterosexual. What is the attraction of drive-by casual sex in public places with complete strangers? What gives with the almost daily news of large groups of men getting arrested for having sex in public places? Private clubs and bath houses are one thing, but public restrooms and out in the open in public?

It seems daily I am seeing news like this (http://www.twnonline.org/Archive_TWN/040205/040205_local_news_restroom_sting.htm) and this (http://www.local10.com/news/558179/detail.html). This isn't just a few random weirdos acting badly. This is community leaders, police officers, teachers etc.

What's even shocking is before I made this post i did a quick web search trying to find article links, what I found was website after website promoting public encounters and bitterly defending it!

I'm sorry but what people do behind closed doors is one thing, but this is pretty messed up. As a matter of fact it is becoming an epidemic locally. Even a hetro friend of mine was approached by a guy in a grocery store(!).

What gives :-? For years and years the gay community has been battling the image that homosexuality is perverse and disease prone due to loose values and promiscuity.  :-?
Title: Re: Gay men acting badly, doing the ugly in public.
Post by: Speelgoedmannetje on March 25, 2004, 07:12:15 PM
I dunno what your intentions are with this thread, Red, but
I got a bad feeling about it. Incidents always occur so:
shall we count the amount of structural violent/sexual incidents caused by hetero's? Should we ban heteros?


:-x
Title: Re: Gay men acting badly, doing the ugly in public.
Post by: mikeymike on March 25, 2004, 07:26:38 PM
Americans having to bottle everything up so much? :-)

I think we should ban football match audiences though.  It would stop/reduce football fans being so helplessly sad and juvenile :-)
Title: Re: Gay men acting badly, doing the ugly in public.
Post by: redrumloa on March 25, 2004, 07:37:47 PM
Quote
I dunno what your intentions are with this thread, Red, but
I got a bad feeling about it. Incidents always occur so:


My intentions :-?  :-?  This is something I see on the news daily, not in some far away place but in public stores and parks in the very cities by where I live. My children have to use these very public restrooms while we are out in public.

I never said that all gay people do this, but it certainly is a problem at least on a local level.

Quote
shall we count the amount of structural violent/sexual incidents caused by hetero's? Should we ban heteros?


Did I say anything about banning? Why are you getting so angry and defensive? :-? If this was straight couples doing the same thing in broad daylight in public places, I'd be against it too. However it isn't, so we should stay on subject.
Title: Re: Gay men acting badly, doing the ugly in public.
Post by: Speelgoedmannetje on March 25, 2004, 07:49:01 PM
Quote

redrumloa wrote:
Did I say anything about banning? Why are you getting so angry and defensive? :-?
The way you're come up with it. I ain't coming up with the fact that there are a hell of a lot hetero perverts are walking around.

Just rather mention it as perverts, these persons who are doing that what you mention.

I do not think your daily news is really neutral.
They're pinpointing the gay part of these incidents (and thus bashing them).

It's happening sometimes here in the Netherlands too, for instance that newspapers are continuously pinpointing the incidents around foreigners, and I get sick about that. They're only doing that because they'll sell better. And it's all over the heads of minorities.
Title: Re: Gay men acting badly, doing the ugly in public.
Post by: redrumloa on March 25, 2004, 08:01:29 PM
Quote
I ain't coming up with the fact that there are a hell of a lot hetero perverts are walking around.


i don't know about you specifically, but there sure are many here on ANN who just LOVE it when a cathloic priest gets busted for diddling a little kid.

Quote
They're pinpointing the gay part of these incidents (and thus bashing them).


I don't think so, maybe you don't know the local culture. If a group of 20+ heterosexual people were to be busted having sex in a plainly public place it most certainly would be a major news story. There are raids on swingers clubs quite often down here and it makes the news in a big way. The difference i see here and i think i made clear in the original post is these incidents that are happening so often now are not in private clubs, BUT IN PUBLIC PLACES.

As a matter of fact I can point out at least 2 local gay night clubs which are essentially gay swinger clubs. AFAIK they have not been raided in at least the last 20 years. Police are looking the other way, though they have been raiding straight swingers clubs. IMHO private clubs should be off limits gay or straight, who cares. Public places with no regard for anyone else is another story.
Title: Re: Gay men acting badly, doing the ugly in public.
Post by: Mike_Amiga on March 25, 2004, 08:05:32 PM
The world is full of perverts lets nuke the planet, and it will be a better place for us all!

I've seen documentaries about cottaging, that's what they call it... would be nicer if a private cottage was involved.
Title: Re: Gay men acting badly, doing the ugly in public.
Post by: Speelgoedmannetje on March 25, 2004, 08:09:03 PM
But you ain't talking about serious problems with heteros, like guys who are bashing their wives and kids up at home, wich I consider a far far worse problem (because it happens very frequent and is far more hazardous), or other machismo behaviour.
I ain't saying it's right what they're doin' (IF it's all true, only IF), I say that your perspective seems wrong to me.
Title: Re: Gay men acting badly, doing the ugly in public.
Post by: redrumloa on March 25, 2004, 08:19:11 PM
Quote
I ain't saying it's right what they're doin', I say that your perspective seems wrong to me.


Uuuh no you are just trying to put the shoe on the other foot. Look at the last topic I started, about a perverted guy who fathered children with like 7 different women, 2 of which being his own daughters and proceeded to kill 9 of his kids. Sickos are sickos.

Anyhow, I always call something bad, bad. I'm not going to ignore this because some people are sensitive. It's not some foreign abstract idea.
Title: Re: Gay men acting badly, doing the ugly in public.
Post by: Speelgoedmannetje on March 25, 2004, 08:21:43 PM
Why I am doubting your thread? Because of the anti-gay attitude of the avarage American. I've seen enough of it. Also here on Aorg.

Feels (/sells) good, huh? Hysteria around minorities like foreigners, homos, or alike weirdos.

Sorry if I am a bit too picky on this thread right now, Red, but there's still too much plain gay-hatred as be seen in other threads :-(
Title: Re: Gay men acting badly, doing the ugly in public.
Post by: KennyR on March 25, 2004, 09:00:56 PM
Speelgoedmannetje, don't take this the wrong way, but the gay scene has always had a strong element of this to it. Not far from where I live is a large park meant for families, but you have to scramble to get out before dark, because then the gays come to fill up the car parks and meet to have sex. Toilets of parks are also another favourite place.

Now, I know full well heteros do this as well, and I'm against gay discrimination of any kind, but it's a fact of life. It's probably more to do with cultural reasons (repression, etc) that gays don't have more healthy places to meet, but what Red is saying is mostly true. The gay scene misbehaves and it often misbehaves in style.
Title: Re: Gay men acting badly, doing the ugly in public.
Post by: Karlos on March 25, 2004, 09:05:39 PM
A few years ago, some blokes were caught in the act behind the local supermarket bins, in broad daylight. I mean, talk about a romantic setting too! :lol:
Title: Re: Gay men acting badly, doing the ugly in public.
Post by: Speelgoedmannetje on March 25, 2004, 10:08:23 PM
@KennyR
I know there are gays who are behaving badly.
But it is the attitude, it's what this thread is states, wich made me angry.
He could as well state when there's a war goin' on in Africa:
"Black people acting badly"
Title: Re: Gay men acting badly, doing the ugly in public.
Post by: redrumloa on March 25, 2004, 10:17:31 PM
Quote
Because of the anti-gay attitude of the avarage American.


So you are accusing me of a prejudice because of your own admitted anti-american prejudice? At least you are honest about it.

Quote
Feels (/sells) good, huh? Hysteria around minorities like foreigners, homos, or alike weirdos.


Huh? I emplore you to point out where I have said anything mean spirited to this effect. As a matter of fact I smell extreme hipocracy in these forums every day, but I keep my mouth shut.

Quote
Sorry if I am a bit too picky on this thread right now, Red, but there's still too much plain gay-hatred as be seen in other thread


There is no place for gay hatred IMO. I must have been missing it, I have been avoiding the DMZ mostly for a while.
Title: Re: Gay men acting badly, doing the ugly in public.
Post by: KennyR on March 25, 2004, 10:23:38 PM
Quote
Speelgoedmannetje wrote:
I know there are gays who are behaving badly.
But it is the attitude, it's what this thread is states, wich made me angry.


Yes, but Redrumloa is not one of those with the attitude.
Title: Re: Gay men acting badly, doing the ugly in public.
Post by: redrumloa on March 25, 2004, 10:24:20 PM
Quote

Speelgoedmannetje wrote:
@KennyR
I know there are gays who are behaving badly.
But it is the attitude, it's what this thread is states, wich made me angry.
He could as well there's state when there's a war goin' on in Africa:
"Black people acting badly"


This is the DMZ, Talkabout, Coffee House or whatever it is called nowadays:-)

I mean honestly, I can go through and list many more worse attention grabbing titles than this. How many "Stupid American" threads have there been in just the last week?
Here a couple just on casual glance.
Quote
Should incestuous marriages be allowed in America?

Bush up to his dirty tricks again

The real problem with America(ns)


This is the fire, and it's aweful hot aint it? :lol:
Title: Re: Gay men acting badly, doing the ugly in public.
Post by: Speelgoedmannetje on March 25, 2004, 10:25:48 PM
Quote

redrumloa wrote:
Quote
Because of the anti-gay attitude of the avarage American.

So you are accusing me of a prejudice because of your own admitted anti-american prejudice? At least you are honest about it.
No, I rather wanted to point out that there is apparently still a lot of gay hatred around, and I was naive about this. It's probably wrong of me to say the avarage American, but I noticed that there are a hell of a lot Americans between the gay bashers on the internet.

But hey, half my family is American, so it'd be rather foolish if I was plain anti-American.
Title: Re: Gay men acting badly, doing the ugly in public.
Post by: Speelgoedmannetje on March 25, 2004, 10:28:33 PM
Quote

KennyR wrote:
Quote
Speelgoedmannetje wrote:
I know there are gays who are behaving badly.
But it is the attitude, it's what this thread is states, wich made me angry.


Yes, but Redrumloa is not one of those with the attitude.
Okay, that convinces me.

Still, be wary of the news you get. (no matter what kind)

And especially, how it is presented.
Title: Re: Gay men acting badly, doing the ugly in public.
Post by: iamaboringperson on March 25, 2004, 11:15:55 PM
Quote

What is the attraction of drive-by casual sex in public places with complete strangers? What gives with the almost daily news of large groups of men getting arrested for having sex in public places?
I'm affraid that's just what perverts do. :(

There's a whole, highly publicised, event up in Sydney each year which features simmilar perverted acts in public!


The reason it hapens, I guess, is that there is too much support for it in public culture these days. (Such acts were much more rare only decades ago)

Title: Re: Gay men acting badly, doing the ugly in public.
Post by: Speelgoedmannetje on March 25, 2004, 11:17:02 PM
Here you have it, Iama has entered the room! As a fly attracted to a rotten corpse!
ALL gays are perverts! Spread the word!
Title: Re: Gay men acting badly, doing the ugly in public.
Post by: mdwh2 on March 25, 2004, 11:47:42 PM
This is a gay thing? Funny, I don't see any mention of women meeting up and having sex in those stories, which would be true if homosexuals were more likely to do this.

If there is a difference, I'd suggest it's more that *men* (or a small but significant minority of them, at least) are morely likely to do sex with a random stranger. A consequence of it only being men is that it ends up being homosexual - I'm sure there are *plenty* of men who would love to meet up in public and have sex with a random female stranger, but let's face it, doing so is a lot harder;)

Another thing to note is that it says many of these men are family men. I'd suggest that these are men who may not be out about being gay or bi. Since they have a wife and maybe kids, they can't exactly bring a guy over, so they look for some easy public place. The reverse situation of a person in a gay relationship being in the closet about being straight or bi seems a lot less likely to me, given the way that people are brought up to assume that being straight is the normal standard default way to be.

And there are plenty of straight couples having sex in public places. But I wouldn't claim that the straight scene (whatever that is) is misbehaving.
Title: Re: Gay men acting badly, doing the ugly in public.
Post by: Karlos on March 26, 2004, 12:48:15 AM
Quote

Speelgoedmannetje wrote:
but I noticed that there are a hell of a lot Americans between the gay bashers on the internet.


Er, you might wanna rephrase that...
Title: Re: Gay men acting badly, doing the ugly in public.
Post by: Speelgoedmannetje on March 26, 2004, 09:59:05 AM
Quote

Karlos wrote:
Quote

Speelgoedmannetje wrote:
but I noticed that there are a hell of a lot Americans between the gay bashers on the internet.


Er, you might wanna rephrase that...
A high percentage of the gay bashers who are American
Title: Re: Gay men acting badly, doing the ugly in public.
Post by: Karlos on March 26, 2004, 04:34:14 PM
Quote

Speelgoedmannetje wrote:
Quote

Karlos wrote:
Quote

Speelgoedmannetje wrote:
but I noticed that there are a hell of a lot Americans between the gay bashers on the internet.


Er, you might wanna rephrase that...
A high percentage of the gay bashers who are American


Better. Bit less of a direct visual misinterpretation of your original meaning now :-D
Title: Re: Gay men acting badly, doing the ugly in public.
Post by: Speelgoedmannetje on March 26, 2004, 04:39:12 PM
:oops: S-sorry, I see it now. I assumed it'd mean the same in English as it does in Dutch.
Title: Re: Gay men acting badly, doing the ugly in public.
Post by: T_Bone on March 26, 2004, 04:42:25 PM
Quote

Speelgoedmannetje wrote:
A high percentage of the gay bashers who are American


What's the percentage? I think I can only recall 2 people who "bash" homosexuals (if by "bash" you mean saying it's wrong) and of those 2, only one is American.
Title: Re: Gay men acting badly, doing the ugly in public.
Post by: Speelgoedmannetje on March 26, 2004, 04:47:46 PM
@T-Bone
Yes, here on Aorg, but I noticed elsewhere on the internet a hell of a lot hatred of Americans towards gays. An unequivalent amount of hatred.
Title: Re: Gay men acting badly, doing the ugly in public.
Post by: Karlos on March 26, 2004, 05:08:27 PM
Quote

Speelgoedmannetje wrote:
:oops: S-sorry, I see it now. I assumed it'd mean the same in English as it does in Dutch.


It's ok, I mean it does, really. I was just making a little joke to lighten the thread a litte :-)
Title: Re: Gay men acting badly, doing the ugly in public.
Post by: T_Bone on March 26, 2004, 05:16:58 PM
I don't think this has anything to do with these men being homosexual, I think it has more to do with them being MEN!! :lol:
Title: Re: Gay men acting badly, doing the ugly in public.
Post by: Speelgoedmannetje on March 26, 2004, 05:19:18 PM
Quote

T_Bone wrote:
I don't think this has anything to do with these men being homosexual, I think it has more to do with them being MEN!! :lol:
My thoughts too.

@Karlos
:pint: ah well, but was it correct English or not? (I try my best)
Title: Re: Gay men acting badly, doing the ugly in public.
Post by: Karlos on March 26, 2004, 05:52:59 PM
@speel

:lol: Your English is way better than my command of the Dutch language, and that's for sure!

The meaning was fine, really. Probably swapping "between" for "amongst" would have been a bit less visually amusing, if you get my meaning ;-)
Title: Re: Gay men acting badly, doing the ugly in public.
Post by: cecilia on March 27, 2004, 03:20:21 AM
Quote

T_Bone wrote:
I don't think this has anything to do with these men being homosexual, I think it has more to do with them being MEN!! :lol:
as my father would say, "Boys will be boys".

:roflmao:

it's a comment my mother always thought was rediculous, but I think there is some truth in it anyway. (not tellin' mom!)
Title: Re: Gay men acting badly, doing the ugly in public.
Post by: Methuselas on March 29, 2004, 12:51:20 AM
Quote

redrumloa wrote:
Someone explain this to me, as I am helplessly heterosexual.



Jim, how are we supposed to explain this, if you're helplessly heterosexual?? :-P I mean, we're not talking about 21 hetero's getting busted.


Come out of the closet and I'm sure it will all make sense.  :-D