Amiga.org
Coffee House => Coffee House Boards => CH / General => Topic started by: that_punk_guy on January 31, 2004, 11:43:17 PM
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I'd guess that at least 90% of the Amiga.org membership is male, so I'd like to pose a question. Why do our bathrooms smell so bad?
I'm talking about public toilets, mostly. My bathroom smells lovely now that my (incidentally male) housemate has gone. What genetic deficiency is it in men that precludes our ability to keep the toilets clean? I'm sure you're all aware of this. You walk past a girl's toilet and it doesn't smell, or even smells nice. You can smell the men's toilets fifty yards away and it is not pleasant.
Maybe it's the use of urinals and things that makes it more smelly. Everyone's doings get flushed away in the girl's room. But my harrowing experience in a men's public toilet yesterday suggests that an all-cubicle gentleman's (hah!) room would not remedy the situation.
So like, normally, I avoid going near the public toilets. Supermarkets aren't so bad because the owners have a commercial interest in keeping the place smelling decent, but dingy shopping centre toilets run by the council... ew. These particular toilets have blue lights installed now to combat drug use. I wouldn't know how that's supposed to work. I do know it's a lot easier to fall on your arse or get mugged there now. Anyway, I managed to find a cubicle with a toilet that wasn't entirely covered in excrement and spent a few minutes attempting to sanitise the seat to my satisfaction, eventually deciding I might as well just sit on the cleanest bit and then bathe for three hours when I get home.
So, you know, I did my business. Then I notice the cubicle next to me, there's a grunt. I see a shoe, and it's pointing towards the toilet, so he's not taking a s***. I'm pretty sure there was a guy in the next cubicle masturbating. (http://www.amiga.org/images/subject/icon27.gif)
It's like "when you gotta go, you gotta go" taken to its logical conclusion. I mean, ew!!!
Speaking of masturbating in the toilets, I'm just watching 'Secretary', which one Matthew Parsons might be interested to know. Cool film. :-)
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Okay, for a start there is usually piss all over the floor.
But also it is to do with poor cleaning.
Bleach is always the best substance for cleaning toilets as it kills bacteria, and bacteria is the main cause of the smell.
:)
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Yep I agree.
I think they smell so bad for 2 reasons:
1) Can you really be bothered to worry about not missing when it's not your own house?
2) As you say since most of these places have become drug dens most "normal, hygenic" people do not use them - so its bound to smell bad.
I haven't used a council run public toilet in years, as you say they are terrible compared to those run by supermarkets or other businesses (e.g. motorway services).
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I think the ideas here seem pretty good, i.e. that there is just likely to be piss all over the place in a men's room, especially one where drunk people may be missing, "joking around", vomiting etc. However it is an assumption that women's public toilets don't smell though, I wouldn't know.
I would assume too that seeing as the day's of a "toilet attendant" have passed (which brings to mind Carry on Screaming :-D ) there is just less likelihood of detritis being cleaned up .. ever? I doubt if those new superloos smell, if not, there's your reason.
About that wrong-way-foot man. He may have suffered that odd male condition wherein you are in dire and immediate need of bladder release up to and including the moment UNTIL you get your dopper out, wherein all desire to go evacuates the mind and body, and you are left huffing and puffing, gritting your teeth and straining to release the muscles that you were just straining to contain. If so he might have "hid" in the cubicle because of this, noticed someone else was "doing their business" right next door and suffered the same effect.
Note: this is not related to the male condition wherein you finish going, do your waggles, even stretches, swinging, bashing against the wall, wringing out, clenching, squeezing and forcing every last drop out and ... as soon as you put it back a drop of wee comes out. I expect science will find a special gland that holds just a couple of drops of wee for such an occasion.
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Women are in much more close and personal contact with lavatory facilities, plus they love cleaning. And they like to natter in the toilets. And makeup.*
Men have one mission. Get into the toilets asap, do what needs to be done and LEAVE. Asap. Virtually any deviation from that mission and you risk other men thinking you're gay :-)
One thing I don't get though. Personally I'd much rather save a dump for when I get home for many reasons (and everyone here are probably well aware of them), so that in mind, why to the cubicles get so messed up?
* - but the question is, what were they doing away from the kitchen in the first place?
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BouncingAyatollah wrote:
Note: this is not related to the male condition wherein you finish going, do your waggles, even stretches, swinging, bashing against the wall, wringing out, clenching, squeezing and forcing every last drop out and ... as soon as you put it back a drop of wee comes out. I expect science will find a special gland that holds just a couple of drops of wee for such an occasion.
You mean the foreskin reservoir effect? I don't know why it doesn't occur to men to use toilet paper for No.1 as well like girls do...
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@that_punk_guy
You mean the foreskin reservoir effect? I don't know why it doesn't occur to men to use toilet paper for No.1 as well like girls do...
LOL! No I mean when everything outwardly appears "shipshape and Bristol fashion" after said evacuatory exercises, i.e. completely dry, clean ... errr... *finished*, pop it away and - bugger, but just a tiny drop. Thankfully this appears to be very rare, e.g. when you have that "rare" job interview, or that stunning woman takes a "rare" interest in you etc.
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this has GOT to be one of the funniest threads i've ever seen!
you guys and your cute pee pee's! :-D
what a drama!
one of the main reasons guys forget to wash up (the room) is because mommy usually did that while you were all growing up. my mom taught me to clean up after myself. and i don't expect anyone to be my servant.
AND, to rectify an incorrect notion, I am in AND OUT of the rest room in about 30 seconds. It IS possible, and i don't want to be lumped in with stranglers! and i don't wear makup.
and the 30 sec includes washing my hands!
so there!
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@cecilia
Well, he has a point re: public toilets, some male public toilets are absolutely RANK, I mean the smell that hits your nose when you enter makes you retch or at the very least try and hold your breath for the duration. I think he was saying surely women's public toilets can't be like this?
It seems to be about respecting general or "not MY" property.
My own toilet at home is pristine and smells great, sadly the same is not true of public toilets too often.
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Perfectly put!
Note: this is not related to the male condition wherein you finish going, do your waggles, even stretches, swinging, bashing against the wall, wringing out, clenching, squeezing and forcing every last drop out and ... as soon as you put it back a drop of wee comes out. I expect science will find a special gland that holds just a couple of drops of wee for such an occasion.
Pure poetry of the penis :-o
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ok, well, as most of you (!) have never been in a ladies toilet, i can reveal that while most seem ok and "clean", every once in a while you will find one that is, em, er, not nice.
i suspect this has to do with complete lack of maintenance.
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Cyberus wrote:
Pure poetry of the penis :-o
is that anything like "Puppetry of the Penis"????
:lol:
http://www.puppetryofthepenis.com/ (http://www.puppetryofthepenis.com/)
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@ Cecilia
I thought that after I had written it actually :lol:
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:nervous: Cecilia seems to have this weird fascination with the penis!
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iamaboringperson wrote:
:nervous: Cecilia seems to have this weird fascination with the penis!
it's all on account of my hormones . (and it's normal)
:-D
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Anybody not totally sure of what that_punk_guy is describing need only watch "Trainspotting" ;-)
(The worst) Toilet (in Scotland) :lol:
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that_punk_guy wrote:
So, you know, I did my business. Then I notice the cubicle next to me, there's a grunt. I see a shoe, and it's pointing towards the toilet, so he's not taking a s***. I'm pretty sure there was a guy in the next cubicle masturbating. (http://www.amiga.org/images/subject/icon27.gif)
I
Sounds like a scene from "The Right Stuff" :-P .
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that_punk_guy wrote:
These particular toilets have blue lights installed now to combat drug use. I wouldn't know how that's supposed to work.
The first time I noticed blue lighting in toilets was in Amsterdam in an EasyEverything internet cafe. They are supposed to stop skagheads finding their veins, hence making them go elsewhere to jack up.
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I HATE public toilets
the places where you got to pee is not someting homo-friendly and I feel myself utterly uncomfortable when peeing there.
Maybe I should go to the women's toilet....
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my two cents (or even a quarter)..
Why mens toilets aren't smelling like ladies toilets?
Think about it in "nature" way - it's a relic of human animal background. Animals (male ones) are marking their territories with smells, they simply pee on something to tell other animals (same specie(?)) that this is their terrain - look why your dog isn't peeing in one place, but is doing it here, and there and over there, and so on (not talking bout female subjects).. This would be the main reason, but think about it - everyone's scribbles get flushed away - in the boys and girl's room. So why?
The second reason is: when we(men)'re doing our stuff in the toilet, it is done on "standing" position. Now, imagine a waterfall, and the nearest surroundings. - for those who "didn't catch" an illustrating sight - when a 'string of urinates'(!) hits the bowl, some of it' spreads to invisible mist falling everywhere around.. (don't flame me for this - it's true!)..
That is why I think it is how it is..
:-D
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Nobody has been brave (or sick?) enough to mention this so I will. For men waking up at 5am with a full bladder, we usually find that something has got up before us. Targeting the toilet (or indeed anything below waist level) with that monstrosity is never easy, unless you take a handstand over the bowl. Now, they may be hard to acheive in later life but they seem even harder to get rid of. There's the choice of thinking about Margaret Thatcher and waiting until it wears off while in agony from a full bladder, or just going for it and blaming it on someone else later. Guess which choice is usually better.
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KennyR wrote:
Targeting the toilet (..) with that monstrosity is never easy
agreed :roflmao: :roflmao:
BTW your avatar is well adequate to this hread :-D :-D
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Nobody has been brave (or sick?) enough to mention this so I will. For men waking up at 5am with a full bladder, we usually find that something has got up before us. Targeting the toilet (or indeed anything below waist level) with that monstrosity is never easy, unless you take a handstand over the bowl.
:roflmao:
Admittedly I have wondered on and off whether that was just something that happened to me :-)
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Speaking of masturbating in the toilets, I'm just watching 'Secretary', which one Matthew Parsons might be interested to know. Cool film.
Aye! And if it's Toilet masturbation scenes your after they don't come much better than in "Secretary" :-o
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KennyR wrote:
Nobody has been brave (or sick?) enough to mention this so I will. For men waking up at 5am with a full bladder, we usually find that something has got up before us. Targeting the toilet (or indeed anything below waist level) with that monstrosity is never easy, unless you take a handstand over the bowl. Now, they may be hard to acheive in later life but they seem even harder to get rid of. There's the choice of thinking about Margaret Thatcher and waiting until it wears off while in agony from a full bladder, or just going for it and blaming it on someone else later. Guess which choice is usually better.
:lol: I didn't think it was physically possible to piss when you've got a boner?
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that_punk_guy wrote:
KennyR wrote:
Nobody has been brave (or sick?) enough to mention this so I will. For men waking up at 5am with a full bladder, we usually find that something has got up before us. Targeting the toilet (or indeed anything below waist level) with that monstrosity is never easy, unless you take a handstand over the bowl. Now, they may be hard to acheive in later life but they seem even harder to get rid of. There's the choice of thinking about Margaret Thatcher and waiting until it wears off while in agony from a full bladder, or just going for it and blaming it on someone else later. Guess which choice is usually better.
:lol: I didn't think it was physically possible to piss when you've got a boner?
"We do hard things easily. The impossible takes a little longer."
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iamaboringperson wrote:
:nervous: Cecilia seems to have this weird fascination with the penis!
I've never heard/seen a guy complain about that before! :-D
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whabang wrote:
iamaboringperson wrote:
:nervous: Cecilia seems to have this weird fascination with the penis!
I've never heard/seen a guy complain about that before! :-D
"Dammit woman, I just gave you sweet lovin' five minutes ago!"
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cecilia wrote:
iamaboringperson wrote:
:nervous: Cecilia seems to have this weird fascination with the penis!
it's all on account of my hormones . (and it's normal)
:-D
Is it? What is normal and what's not normal?
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Speelgoedmannetje wrote:
cecilia wrote:
iamaboringperson wrote:
:nervous: Cecilia seems to have this weird fascination with the penis!
it's all on account of my hormones . (and it's normal)
:-D
Is it? What is normal and what's not normal?
don't start with me!!!
It's normal for ME!! and ME is all i'm talkin' about!
stop with the PC crap.
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cecilia wrote:
stop with the PC crap.
Political correctness is something extremely important. Look at Africa, there's no such a thing as political corectness, and see what suffering it causes!
And btw. about that "hormone stuff", it'd be not normal for me?
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@KennyR
ROTFL! Bravo... indeed brings to mind bending tricks and contortions that would put Uri Geller to shame.
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KennyR wrote:
Nobody has been brave (or sick?) enough to mention this so I will. For men waking up at 5am with a full bladder, we usually find that something has got up before us. Targeting the toilet (or indeed anything below waist level) with that monstrosity is never easy, unless you take a handstand over the bowl. Now, they may be hard to acheive in later life but they seem even harder to get rid of. There's the choice of thinking about Margaret Thatcher and waiting until it wears off while in agony from a full bladder, or just going for it and blaming it on someone else later. Guess which choice is usually better.
:roflmao:
A friend once reasoned that, if you had the room to back up, you could just stand close to the loo and urinate in a parabolic trajectory. Then simply reverse as the flow increases and move forwards again as it dies off, thus reducing it to a simple realtime feedback/control problem.
Unfortunately, it had one slight drawback...
It was boll*cks :-)
Nobody with an absolute bladderfull at 5am can respond quickly or accurately enough...
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There is actually a solution:
Sit on the toilet and force the ol' chap vertically downwards - unless you are endowed with an acorn you have to align it before you sit, otherwise it'll hit the seat. Of course you have to avoid the tip touching the toilet bowl and giving you that cringe factor, yeurgh.
I can't believe I've just said all that!
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ROTFLMAO!!!
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Cyberus wrote:
I can't believe I've just said all that!
That's my solution too... but I didn't feel the need to share. ;-)
I sit down to pee most of the time anyway. My bathroom's dingy and I don't want to miss and make the carpet smell...
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Got a solution for the "random direction" problem? :-)
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mikeymike wrote:
Got a solution for the "random direction" problem? :-)
Wash regularly. And thoroughly. That way nothing sticks and sends liquids off at bad trajectories.
I just found a black hair on my chest, I don't like it. I look like a porn star.
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cecilia wrote:
ok, well, as most of you (!)
I once had to pee desperatly (in the pub, you know) and the men's toilet was in use, so I used the women's toilet. Once I came out I saw that a muscled gothic-deathmetal girl was waiting :lol:
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Wash regularly. And thoroughly. That way nothing sticks and sends liquids off at bad trajectories.
I wish you had PM'd that, makes me look like a skanky... :-)
Hmm, that would explain why it happens first thing in the morning.
If you can think of any other excuses as good or better than this one, pmail them to me ;-)
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mikeymike wrote:
Wash regularly. And thoroughly. That way nothing sticks and sends liquids off at bad trajectories.
I wish you had PM'd that, makes me look like a skanky... :-)
:lol: Sorry 'bout that...
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that_punk_guy wrote:
I just found a black hair on my chest, I don't like it. I look like a porn star.
what do you really want to tell us Punkie? :-D
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Speelgoedmannetje wrote:
that_punk_guy wrote:
I just found a black hair on my chest, I don't like it. I look like a porn star.
what do you really want to tell us Punkie? :-D
I was Ron Jeremy in a previous life? :-D
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that_punk_guy wrote:
I was Ron Jeremy in a previous life? :-D
I meant, this whole thread, about manly doin' on the toilet and chest hair and so...
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mikeymike wrote:
Got a solution for the "random direction" problem?
At 5am, best I can recommend is a two fisted manual realignment. It's not easy, though. It's like pushing a B52 into a dive.
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Soooo....
You guys stand up when you gotta wipe, or...?
(Sorry.)
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GIRLS DON'T POO. (I have nothing more to add to this conversation)
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that_punk_guy wrote:
I was Ron Jeremy in a previous life? :-D
Noooooooooo!
Ron Jeremy is FAT anf Ugly!
you are a sweetheart!
so you found one hair. at least it's not a rug! don't sweat it!
(ps, yes, it's true, "GIRLS DON'T POO") :lol:
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mikeymike wrote:
Got a solution for the "random direction" problem? :-)
Yup, circumcizing.
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Speelgoedmannetje wrote:
mikeymike wrote:
Got a solution for the "random direction" problem? :-)
Yup, circumcizing.
I always find my foreskin is useful for directional control...
Oh my god.
There's a 50/50 chance I'm gonna hit submit... Punkie's mouse pointer hovers between 'Submit' and 'Cancel Post', until he decides, taking into account the tastelessness and indecency of this post and the standards we have to keep up on this forum...
Oh no! I have to go to my mum's workplace tomorrow and it's run by these Jewish guys and now all I'll be able to think about is they're probably circumsized! :-o
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:lol: I just can't believe this thread is here at all!:lol:
BTW I think most blokes with erections probably use that technique mentioned earlier when urinating.
:roflmao:
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that_punk_guy wrote:
I always find my foreskin is useful for directional control...
Urgh, I think we'd better stop with this thread.
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i love this thread!
It's a KEEPER!!!
it's classic!
i'm learning all kinds of cool things about foreskins!
tell me MORE!!!
:lol:
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I want to learn about labia.
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What's a foreign contry got to do with it? :-D
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I heard they have clean toilets?
:-D
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Oh I thought you were talking about a political party....
The Labia Party
Now there's an idea ;-)
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that_punk_guy wrote:
I want to learn about labia.
they like to be kept moist but rubbed vigorously.
i've heard...... :-D
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cecilia wrote:
that_punk_guy wrote:
I want to learn about labia.
they like to be kept moist but rubbed vigorously.
Can I help, in any way?
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LOL to all of this :)
I once read that your toothbrush should be kept at least 3 meters away from your loo. Otherwise you have a high chance of fecal matter getting on the bristles.
You can find out about the aerosol effect (http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a990416.html) here.
anywhoo... one for everyone to think about when you are brushing your teeth tonight :)
Kev
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I want to learn about labia.
The Jay and Silent Bob Strikes Back version, or something more true to life? :-)
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that_punk_guy wrote:
Speelgoedmannetje wrote:
mikeymike wrote:
Got a solution for the "random direction" problem? :-)
Yup, circumcizing.
I always find my foreskin is useful for directional control...
Oh my god.
There's a 50/50 chance I'm gonna hit submit... Punkie's mouse pointer hovers between 'Submit' and 'Cancel Post', until he decides, taking into account the tastelessness and indecency of this post and the standards we have to keep up on this forum...
Oh no! I have to go to my mum's workplace tomorrow and it's run by these Jewish guys and now all I'll be able to think about is they're probably circumsized! :-o
Exactly my point! If Besides, if people think its in the way they could pull it back; there's no need to cut it off.
About the hair-on-the-chest tingy:
I have hairy nipples!
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Whatever happened to the brilliant idea to start a 'Feaces of Amiga.Org' page............
;-)
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About the hair-on-the-chest tingy:
I have hairy nipples!
TMI!!!
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odin wrote:
Whatever happened to the brilliant idea to start a 'Feaces of Amiga.Org' page............
;-)
Which reminds me, I have a picture of my sister surfing on ratemypoo.com to blackmail her with! :-D I think I have a picture of some poo somewhere... it's a compositional masterpiece of photography, too.
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Ah...but some generic photo of poo won't do really. It's got to be a personal pile of poo.
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This time it's personal!! :-D
Hmmm... When people say they have "hairy nipples", do they mean the skin around the nipple is hairy, or the actual nipple has hairs growing from it?
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Do you really want me to take a look and post the answer? :-D
Too late!
Just around the nipple...
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bloodline wrote:
cecilia wrote:
that_punk_guy wrote:
I want to learn about labia.
they like to be kept moist but rubbed vigorously.
Can I help, in any way?
labia all over the world are always grateful for any help!
:-P
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labia all over the world are always grateful for any help!
With a few minor exceptions:
:-P
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whabang wrote:
About the hair-on-the-chest tingy:
I have hairy nipples!
No one gots hair ON his little John-Thomas?
this thread should really stop
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Speelgoedmannetje wrote:
whabang wrote:
About the hair-on-the-chest tingy:
I have hairy nipples!
No one gots hair on his little John-Thomas?
this thread should really stop
darling, if it's too adult for you, then you stop reading it.
don't spoil our fun.
:-D
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Hi All-
Hmmm.. I worked my way through college by being a gas station attendant (back when you got service!). One of the jobs was to clean the public restrooms. The mens was always pretty clean, the womens was a pig-pen. Same story from every public restroom cleaner I've ever asked. And I did ask, since the outcome was so contrary to my predjudices.
Part of the difference may have been that "feminine products" (menstral napkins) tend to plug up the toilet and we wouldn't be told about it until the bowl was swimming over the brim in poo and yellow water. Ick!
I wish we had some productive Amiga news to fill this time, but this thread is funny.
CRL
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cecilia wrote:
Speelgoedmannetje wrote:
whabang wrote:
About the hair-on-the-chest tingy:
I have hairy nipples!
No one gots hair on his little John-Thomas?
this thread should really stop
darling, if it's too adult for you, then you stop reading it.
don't spoil our fun.
:-D
Why is it, Cecillia, that you want me to be immature? Apart from the rest, yes, I think I am not very adult considering this thread.
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cecilia wrote:
bloodline wrote:
cecilia wrote:
that_punk_guy wrote:
I want to learn about labia.
they like to be kept moist but rubbed vigorously.
Can I help, in any way?
labia all over the world are always grateful for any help!
:-P
I'm always willing to lend a hand if I can be of assistance.
If my hand is unavailable... my sexual organs are free.
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bloodline wrote:
If my hand is unavailable... my sexual organs are free.
You get what you pay for. ;)
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:lol:
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@CRL
Part of the difference may have been that "feminine products" (menstral napkins) tend to plug up the toilet ...
Evidently they weren't using "vampire teabags" then. :-)
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KennyR wrote:
mikeymike wrote:
Got a solution for the "random direction" problem?
At 5am, best I can recommend is a two fisted manual realignment. It's not easy, though. It's like pushing a B52 into a dive.
[color=FF0000]ROFLMAO[/color][/b]
:roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao:
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BouncingAyatollah wrote:
@CRL
Part of the difference may have been that "feminine products" (menstral napkins) tend to plug up the toilet ...
Evidently they weren't using "vampire teabags" then. :-)
If that doesn't get a "ewww!" response from Cecelia, I'm not sure you should try harder. Ewww. :-)
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bloodline wrote:
If my hand is unavailable... my sexual organs are free.
So is your tongue (being VERY ambiguous)
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If that doesn't get a "ewww!" response from Cecelia, I'm not sure you should try harder. Ewww.
being horrified by the other post (the gas station post), i was desperately trying to ignore further thoughts on this idea.
basically, there are gals out there that were NOT brought up like my mommy brought ME up.
damn!
eeeeeww is right!
:-o :-o
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I'm always willing to lend a hand if I can be of assistance. If my hand is unavailable... my sexual organs are free.
oh, you flirt, you!
keep that up, and you'll force me to really like you.
:-D
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Speelgoedmannetje wrote:
bloodline wrote:
If my hand is unavailable... my sexual organs are free.
So is your tongue (being VERY ambiguous)
NOW you'er getting into the spirt of this thing!
:-D
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You're a succubus Cecilia!
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You know.....pubic hair can be quite annoying. Do you ever get that when wearing briefs the hair gets stuck between the foreskin and the top end of the device itself.....and when you need to take a pee you yank it out, only to discover you painfully force the hairs to leave their precious position. I tell you briefs are evil, I've never experienced this problem with boxers.
One could ofcourse take the radical approach and get out a pair of scissors, but then again......I'd be very reluctant to put that sort of device near the nether region....
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Women expect it to be shaven Odin :nervous:
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:lol:
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That can be quite painful Odin, but nothing can compare to zipping the trousers up very quickly having not stowed the old chap properly and "AAAAAAAAAAARRRRGHHHH!" :boohoo:
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You mean theirs, speelgoedmannetje? I sure as hell ain't shaving my crotch! (+it keeps it nice and warm :-)).
@cyberus:
Luckily I've never had honour of experiencing that (at least I think, prolly would've repressed the memory if I had ;-)). You speak of experience?
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odin wrote:
You mean theirs, speelgoedmannetje? I sure as hell ain't shaving my crotch! (+it keeps it nice and warm :-)).
May I attend to you the fact that seed production is better when it's cold? That's why your balls are external. And they expect YOU, as a MAN to shave your genitals.
Thank God apart from future moaning, I'm also free of that
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my only comment about hair is to point out that IT looks bigger when one neatly trims around IT.
eh, hem.
plus, it's nice when it's tidy.
ps, succubus is my middle name
:-D :-D
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cecilia wrote:
plus, it's nice when it's tidy.
but hair makes it more bodily, more as is, less artificial
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Doesn't shaving the genital region make it kinda irritable?
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You know.....pubic hair can be quite annoying. Do you ever get that when wearing briefs the hair gets stuck between the foreskin and the top end of the device itself..
Yes. Damn that hurts. A "haircut" fixes it though. Also helps keep the undercarriage cool, which is nice :-)
Doesn't shaving the genital region make it kinda irritable?
No need to be that drastic, but recently cut hair can cause mild irritation for a day or two.
Should I add a "so I've heard" for good measure? :-)
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that_punk_guy wrote:
Doesn't shaving the genital region make it kinda irritable?
not if i rub vit E oil on it for ya!
:-o
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@speelgoedmannetje:
Hm, yes seedproduction has an optimum temperature but I don't think I would define it as cold. When you're naked and ding-dongs are exposed in current weather I'm pretty sure they'll creep up to your neck.
@cecilia:
No need for me to shave then. ;-)
-
not if i rub vit E oil on it for ya!
Silence, temptress! :-)
Hm, yes seedproduction has an optimum temperature but I don't think I would define it as cold
Heatsinks. Clang. Ow.
-
No need for me to shave then.
bragging?
-
mikeymike wrote:
not if i rub vit E oil on it for ya!
Silence, temptress! :-)
Awww, Dad! :-D
-
cecilia wrote:
not if i rub vit E oil on it for ya!
:-o
...
:shocked:
;-)
-
Somehow I think's it's gonna be a while before a.org returns to another level of conversation :crazy:.
-
Somehow this thread remains remarkably on-topic
-
Somehow this thread remains remarkably on-topic
But you had to go and ruin it by talking about how on-topic it is! :-)
-
Well, it isn't possible to make it any more low-brow is it?
And anyway, most attempts at intelligent conversation meet with little response. I think threads like this are popular because A) Everyone can relate to the topic B) Cos being rude has a kind of 'fun factor' associated with it
-
mikeymike wrote:
Somehow this thread remains remarkably on-topic
But you had to go and ruin it by talking about how on-topic it is! :-)
I thought that was my duty here at Aorg :-)
-
Just reading the Posting G
- edited by mikeymike - totally off-topic :-D -
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@cyberus:
Oh dear :-).
-
You so-and-so mikeymike! Of course it was on-topic!
It had the word 'toilet' in it, just as this thread does.
Besides, surely I should be praised for advocating reading the posting guidelines :-D
And does anyone here ever 'race the flush' when they're peeing!?
I just did, and failed miserably...
edit: I'm editing this post cos I like '1984'
@Odin
When you start peeing, flush the toilet, and try to finish peeing before the toilet stops flushing... :-)
-
-edit-
@cyberus
Er no......waste of water. That's about 10 litres (guestimate) that goes down the drain if you fail that quest.....:-(.
-
And does anyone here ever 'race the flush' when they're peeing!?
I just did, and failed miserably...
Yes, but I've learnt not to bother, because by the time I think of it... :-)
Annoying thing about the toilet in my current place is that its flush has an undesirable blast radius. Good reason to put the lid down.
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ahum:
Posting Guidelines => Compulsory Rules
No blatantly juvenile toilet humor
-
Cyberus wrote:
And does anyone here ever 'race the flush' when they're peeing!?
Yes!! :-D
Edit: And that's 2,500 posts for that_punk_dawg :-D
(http://images.usatoday.com/life/gallery/carrey/Mask.jpg)
Somebody stop me!!
-
rotfl @ 'blast radius'
:lol:
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Speelgoedmannetje wrote:
ahum:
Posting Guidelines => Compulsory Rules
No blatantly juvenile toilet humor
Ah mannetje, what have you done? ;-)
@ Chris/TPG
Woooooooooooooooooooohooooooooooooooooooo! :-D
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@speelgoedmannetje:
Ah yes, but a moderator is partner in that particular crime. So I guess this thread has at least some protection from the powers that be (are?) :-).
-edit-
"- edited by mikeymike - totally off-topic"
:lol:
-
@Odin
Have you ever seen Mevrouw Ten Kate (this made me think of it)? When she had to grab her wallet (or something else valueable) out of the toilet?
-
sorry i've not been online for ages so i just caught up with this thread -so far
girls toilets are still manky.
maybe they should invent a toilet the size of a shower so you cant possibly miss!
when i go in a cubicle and there is alredy mess on the seat i do not ever ever sit on it! hover! but then i have the whole thing where the person to use the loo after me might think i'n dirty for leaving my mess on the seat when it wasnt me.
p.s i'm moving my tooth brush and chris you cannot blackmail me with that #### :-D mister snake poo
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@All:
Thank you for brightening up my night. I've just read the entire thread and have been laughing out loud. :pint:
@Cyberus:
does anyone here ever 'race the flush' when they're peeing!?
According to Peter Kay all men, at least once in there life, try this.
Personally, I do it all the time. When I'm watching telly, I use the toilet next door to the living room. The dividing wall is very thin and the noise of the cistern filling up again forces me to turn the TV up. Over the four years I've lived here, I've learned how to practically eliminate this by 'beating the flush'. By the time I've washed my hands and settled back down, the noise has abated somewhat. If I've ventured forth during an ad. break, I'm usually clear before whatever I'm watching comes back on. :-D
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@speelgoedmannetje:
Hmmm...that VPRO sundaymorning prog? Can't say I recall that episode :-).
I managed to drop my shaver in the toilet once.......luckily I hadn't used it recently :-o.
My father dropped his mobile phone in the toilet a few weeks ago :-D. And it still works!
re toilets:
While I was on holiday in Corsica last summer I encounter those 'hole-in-the-ground'-toilets for the first time. God knows how you are supposed to use those properly when taking a dump. I never dared using em anyway. Weird French :-).
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odin wrote:
@speelgoedmannetje:
Hmmm...that VPRO sundaymorning prog? Can't say I recall that episode :-).
yup, "ochtend-tv" it was, with those three fat ladies eating cake as much as they could and so.
I loved Mevrouw Ten Kate, Snotvergeeme! :lol:
-
My dad always used to say that those French toilets are good practice if you want to take up skiing.
I remember using toilets in Uganda, where they were basically holes dug in the ground - when they filled up, they dug another one.
When you used said thunderbox, you could estimate how full the latrine was by how long it took your erm, waste, to go 'plop'. The longer amount of time the better!
Considering his surname is hardly a term of endearment, we really should be grateful for what Sir Thomas Crapper did for us!
-
@cyb:
Is he the inventor of the watercloset?
@speel:
Recently saw Rembo & Rembo again on a sundaymorning. Classic :-).
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odin wrote:
@speelgoedmannetje:
I managed to drop my shaver in the toilet once.......luckily I hadn't used it recently :-o.
My father dropped his mobile phone in the toilet a few weeks ago :-D. And it still works!
Hm, I dropped lately a toothbrush in the toilet. Now that one I threw away (still had two others)
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odin wrote:
@speel:
Recently saw Rembo & Rembo again on a sundaymorning. Classic :-).
:lol: it sure is! Also remember Professor Paardecut?
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odin wrote:
@cyb:
Is he the inventor of the watercloset?
Yes. Sir Thomas Crapper invented the flushing toilet. Another great British invention :-D
@Odin and Eyso
Do you get any English language stations / programmes in the Netherlands? I remember seeing BBC in a hotel in Amsterdam, but that was probably satellite
-
Cyberus wrote:
@Odin and Eyso
Do you get any English language stations / programmes in the Netherlands? I remember seeing BBC in a hotel in Amsterdam, but that was probably satellite
BBC1 and 2 is standard on cable telly
-
@speelgoedmannetje:
Can't say I remember that character.
@cyberus:
Aye, BBC1/2 available. I watch BBC quite a lot. More than the crappy Dutch commercial channels.
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Cyberus wrote:
Yes. Sir Thomas Crapper invented the flushing toilet. Another great British invention :-D
Not nearly as important as the Chinese invention of the toiletpaper, wich is multipurpose
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odin wrote:
I watch BBC quite a lot. More than the crappy Dutch commercial channels.
Yup, me too.
Btw, Odin, have you already seen "Troubabroers" on nl3 22:10 on Sunday?
-
odin wrote:
@speelgoedmannetje:
Can't say I remember that character.
Maybe this pic lets you remember it
-
Speelgoedmannetje wrote:
Cyberus wrote:
Yes. Sir Thomas Crapper invented the flushing toilet. Another great British invention :-D
Not nearly as important as the Chinese invention of the toiletpaper, wich is multipurpose
I think it's more of a symbiotic relationship :-)
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@speel: 1) No I haven't yet, any good? 2) Hmmmmm.....It should probably...but it doesn't.
And now it's children bedtime. Goodnight folks :-).
(sjees.....this looks like an IRC log :-)).
-
nighty night Odin
and that reminds me, I should really join you guys on IRC sometime (its just that I remember losing two jobs when I first discovered internet chat in the late nineties)
-
Odin, you're one post away from 2400! You should post one last time before bed :-)
-
@cyberus:
And this isn't? :-P
@TPG:
Ah yes....but....couldn't really care less about my postcount :-). Huh?....when did you pass 2500 :-)
/me tears himself of the screen and drags himself off to bed.
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odin wrote:
Ah yes....but....couldn't really care less about my postcount :-)
I dunno, there's just something very satisfactory about seeing the 99 digits roll over to 00.
-
Well, I'm gonna go to bed and dream about foresk*cough* I mean about new inspirations and so
-
night night Eyso
BTW, foreskins have to be one of the least attractive parts of a man's anatomy...
-
I'm off too... Nighty night everyone. :-)
Foreskins...? Well, not as ugly as the scotum IMO ;-)
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that_punk_guy wrote:
I'm off too... Nighty night everyone. :-)
Foreskins...? Well, not as ugly as the scotum IMO ;-)
oh, stay i just got up! (not that sort of up :-o )
btw, what time is it there in western europe?
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Cyberus wrote:
BTW, foreskins have to be one of the least attractive parts of a man's anatomy...
that's YOUR opinion!!!!
and you are wrong! :-D
-
oh, stay i just got up! (not that sort of up :-o )
btw, what time is it there in western europe?
well it was around midnight I guess...now 1am
What time is it there? about 11am?
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@odin
You know.....pubic hair can be quite annoying. Do you ever get that when wearing briefs the hair gets stuck between the foreskin and the top end of the device itself.....and when you need to take a pee you yank it out, only to discover you painfully force the hairs to leave their precious position.
LOL! Classic ... I hate it when that has *happened* after weeing (say when I am out somewhere), I usually "pull back" to go hence suffer some "rollback". Later on if I start to get a hard on there is a Tom 'n' Jerry worthy 'ping-ping-ping-ping' sensation. Before anyone says anything... I have extremely LONG pubic hair. :-)
Which reminds me - perhaps I need:
Ball Trimmer (http://www.balltrimmer.com/home.php) (don't worry, not explicit)
-
Ball Trimmer (http://Ball Trimmer)
:lol:
-
the Testimonials are a scream!
"What a feeling, I?m so smooth and soft and extremely lickable."
:lol:
'i'm dying!!!!
:lol:
-
(http://www.hp.uab.edu/image_archive/um/painting03.jpg)
Could this ancient Egyptian be discussing that Hard-to-aim Full-bladder-in-the-morning problem?
BTW, I've found that its extremely ha(?)difficult to estimate the appropriate distance vs time+pressure+ANGLE. :-o
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cecilia wrote:
Cyberus wrote:
BTW, foreskins have to be one of the least attractive parts of a man's anatomy...
that's YOUR opinion!!!!
and you are wrong! :-D
I'm with Cecilia about this one for a change. :-D
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odin wrote:
@speelgoedmannetje:
Hm, yes seedproduction has an optimum temperature but I don't think I would define it as cold. When you're naked and ding-dongs are exposed in current weather I'm pretty sure they'll creep up to your neck.
So which position is best for mobilephone when using it?
A)Hold it against your ear( and head)
B) Having it on your belt with a handsfree to "reduce radiation exposure" :lol:
C) invent the ankleholster for phones
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Speelgoedmannetje wrote:
Not nearly as important as the Chinese invention of the toiletpaper, wich is multipurpose
Proving that there is no reason to burn perfectly useful books! :-D
-
BouncingAyatollah wrote:
Ball Trimmer (http://www.balltrimmer.com/home.php) (don't worry, not explicit)
So... who's going to break the final taboo and post a picture of their new "haircut"? :-D
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that_punk_guy wrote:
BouncingAyatollah wrote:
Ball Trimmer (http://www.balltrimmer.com/home.php) (don't worry, not explicit)
So... who's going to break the final taboo and post a picture of their new "haircut"? :-D
No-one, don't go encouraging people! :-)
And no "can you tell what this picture is of" competitions!
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that_punk_guy wrote:
So... who's going to break the final taboo and post a picture of their new "haircut"? :-D
send all pics to me and i'll make a "Balls of Amiga" site!
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
-
OMG! I can't belive this thread is still alive!!!
cecilia wrote:
that_punk_guy wrote:
So... who's going to break the final taboo and post a picture of their new "haircut"? :-D
send all pics to me and i'll make a "Balls of Amiga" site!
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Shouldn't it be called "Boing balls of Amiga.org"?
I mean, that way you could participate aswell! :-P
-
I think Wayne should back up the Talk-about section of the forum DB and send it to one Mr. Freud.
;-)
-
My idea TPG, and especially Cecilia is to blame!
(and btw, Freud is passe, in a certain sense)
-
I dunno, in my late teen years I had an unfortunate short stint as a janitor in a wholesale club. Whoever says women public facilities are cleaner than men are dead wrong. Alot of women don't like to sit on public toliets, so they just hover above it or stand on it and let it fly. Where ever it goes, it goes. On a daily basis there would be urine and feces just splattered in every possible way. Often they wouldn't even use the toilet at all and would just let it go on the floor, probablt because they toilet was too grizzley from the last person.
Thank god that job only lasted ~1 month:-)
-
I can sort of relate to that, having worked at a nuclear power station as a cleaner for 2 weeks. I came accross one hell of a floater, was in the gents tho, smeg almighty dealing with that was a horrid experience. :-o
BTW I can see the smilies in the "more..." link, since the upgrade, kool!
Wonder when this thread will be locked. :quickdraw:
-
And while we're on the subject of lavatory ettiquette I thought I'd share this with you:
An ex of mine once confessed to peeing in the shower.... MY damn shower! Ugh!
Any further comment Cecilia?
:-D
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PMC wrote:
And while we're on the subject of lavatory ettiquette I thought I'd share this with you:
An ex of mine once confessed to peeing in the shower.... MY damn shower! Ugh!
Any further comment Cecilia?
:-D
Bloody hell, that is grim! Not to mention exceedingly lazy!
@Speel
(and btw, Freud is passe, in a certain sense)
Well, he's dead, if that's what you mean :-D
-
Bloody hell, that is grim! Not to mention exceedingly lazy!
You're telling me... That's horrible thinking that ex was whizzing away in my bath, then I'd get in it for a soak after an evening at the gym...
Ugh! :-x
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PMC wrote:
An ex of mine once confessed to peeing in the shower.... MY damn shower! Ugh!
Any further comment Cecilia?
:-D
and peeing in a shower is "bad" because..........?
Maybe you have a different shower than me. :-?
Mine has water constantly flooding down, washing away soap, grime, dead skin cells, and pee (if it happens).
plus, one can also - may the ghods help us!!! - actually WASH the shower!!!!! :-o :-o :-o
there is, of course, another possible issue here: maybe she was trying to get YOU in the shower by telling you this story????
:lol:
-
hmmmmm.... water sports.... drool.... :lol:
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cecilia wrote:
and peeing in a shower is "bad" because..........?
I don't have a problem with anyone peeing in showers as long as I am not about to take a bath a few minutes later...
there is, of course, another possible issue here: maybe she was trying to get YOU in the shower by telling you this story????
:lol:
LOL!
Nope, there were no glass coffee tables in our house!
:-D
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cecilia wrote:
PMC wrote:
An ex of mine once confessed to peeing in the shower.... MY damn shower! Ugh!
Any further comment Cecilia?
:-D
and peeing in a shower is "bad" because..........?
..there is usually a purpose made device, commonly called a lavatory, toilet, bog etc. not far from the shower. Urinating in the shower is woefully lazy, not to mention inconsiderate if others need to use it.
Maybe you have a different shower than me. :-?
Mine has water constantly flooding down, washing away soap, grime, dead skin cells, and pee (if it happens).
Nope, that sounds about right. Except for the pee part. Like I said, right tool for the job. A shower is for getting clean, not draining your bladder :-)
Would you pee in your kitchen sink if it was closer than your lavatory? After all, if you run the taps the whole time, it isn't any different than your description of the shower, is it?
plus, one can also - may the ghods help us!!! - actually WASH the shower!!!!! :-o :-o :-o
Yep, you should do that anyway :-D
there is, of course, another possible issue here: maybe she was trying to get YOU in the shower by telling you this story????
:lol:
:lol: kinky...
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Karlos wrote:
Would you pee in your kitchen sink if it was closer than your lavatory? After all, if you run the taps the whole time, it isn't any different than your description of the shower, is it?
Karlos! It's been too long...
:banana:
Now, I read in a book... possibly 'Fast Food Nation'... that because of the dirty conditions in slaughter houses and the speed of the production line, meat-eaters end up with more fecal contamination in your kitchen sink than in your toilet bowl.
:-o
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that_punk_guy wrote:
Karlos! It's been too long...
:banana:
No (s)kidding :lol:
Now, I read in a book... possibly 'Fast Food Nation'... that because of the dirty conditions in slaughter houses and the speed of the production line, meat-eaters end up with more fecal contamination in your kitchen sink than in your toilet bowl.
:-o
Oooh...Actually, a cousin worked in one and I can quite believe there's some truth to the claim. I *always* wash the meat I buy quite thoroughly before doing anything with it.
Still, if one did use ones sink in the manner suggested, you'd end up with the problem wether you are a meat eater or not :lol:
-
you do realize that urine - as soon as it exits from the body - has no germs in it. assuming, of course that the body it just inhabited is healthy.
there is only a problem if it sits around. and that doesn't happen in MY shower.
:-D
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cecilia wrote:
you do realize that urine - as soon as it exits from the body - has no germs in it. assuming, of course that the body it just inhabited is healthy.
there is only a problem if it sits around. and that doesn't happen in MY shower.
:-D
LOL! Thanks for clarifying that!
I've conducted a quick straw poll in the office here and a majority of 2:1 agree that whizzing in the shower is grim. The 1/3rd minority stated exactly the same arguement as you.
Interestingly, most of the shower-whizzing culprits were female, so maybe it's something that women do more than men?
Maybe I'm a little too prudish for my own good but I am of the personal opinion that toilet activities should be solely confined to the lavatory - unless of course the tub is full to bursting and you're a considerable distance from the nearest WC.
;-)
-
Now, I read in a book... possibly 'Fast Food Nation'... that because of the dirty conditions in slaughter houses and the speed of the production line, meat-eaters end up with more fecal contamination in your kitchen sink than in your toilet bowl.
:-o
I had heard this before. I've never real 'Fast Food Nation', but it's one reassuring fact that's justifying my new year's resolution to give up red meat for good.
-
I wonder how many can constrain themselves when having a crapping urge under the shower.....
:nervous:
-
I had heard this before. I've never real 'Fast Food Nation', but it's one reassuring fact that's justifying my new year's resolution to give up red meat for good.
Hmm, maybe if you read up about the bad things that happen to vegetables you'll give up vegetables...
Wrt to urine - fresh urine (provided the host is reasonably healthy) can be used as a cleaning agent on wounds.
-
Now, I read in a book... possibly 'Fast Food Nation'... that because of the dirty conditions in slaughter houses and the speed of the production line, meat-eaters end up with more fecal contamination in your kitchen sink than in your toilet bowl.
Classic misinformation.
true or not... think about what vegetables grown in. Always wash vegatables very well before you cook them.
Also remember that Vegatables are never generally cooked above 100C where are Meat tends to be cooked at around 200C.
Logic will prevail :-)
-
some years ago when I was asked to make some tartan images for a web site (and I was using DPAINT to do this, btw) I did some research on the making of real tartans and found out that urine had been used in the preparation of the wool.
http://www.kinnaird.net/tartan.htm (http://www.kinnaird.net/tartan.htm)
"Originally the Highlanders used only the natural shades of the sheeps' wool - black, brown or white - in the designs of their tartan cloth. Later they employed a range of leaves, berries, bark and lichens as natural dyes to develop cloth patterns involving many colours. The birch tree, for instance, produced yellow; while the alder produced black or brown; heather gave orange; the crowberry or blaeberry, purple; the bramble, blue; and the flower of tormentil, red. [color=FF0000]Urine[/color] -fual or graith in Gaelic - was used as a source of ammonia to deepen and intensify colours and to remove grease. Before the dyeing was completed the wool was always washed and a mordant (from the Latin verb, mordere, 'to bite') was added to make the dye permanent. The substance used was often the salt of alum, copper or chrome, and iron mordanting was obtained from black peat bogs."
cool, heh! :-D
-
And when sitting the aerosols are stopped by your bum, not sure what is more disgusting ;-).
-
BouncingAyatollah wrote:
@odin
You know.....pubic hair can be quite annoying. Do you ever get that when wearing briefs the hair gets stuck between the foreskin and the top end of the device itself.....and when you need to take a pee you yank it out, only to discover you painfully force the hairs to leave their precious position.
LOL! Classic ... I hate it when that has *happened* after weeing (say when I am out somewhere), I usually "pull back" to go hence suffer some "rollback". Later on if I start to get a hard on there is a Tom 'n' Jerry worthy 'ping-ping-ping-ping' sensation. Before anyone says anything... I have extremely LONG pubic hair. :-)
Which reminds me - perhaps I need:
Ball Trimmer (http://www.balltrimmer.com/home.php) (don't worry, not explicit)
Err, I couldn't resist the temptation to post this (http://www.funpic.hu/fun-bin/picviewe.cgi?pic=ad192&kateg=adult) in response.
NOTE - if you are a young'n or easily offended, then don't follow that link! It isn't particularly rude, but even so...
:afro::lol:
-
Hmmm, "mons pubis." :lol:
-
Dude!!! Your Avatar... please tell me thats a lady or I might be gay. :-P
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bloodline wrote:
Dude!!! Your Avatar... please tell me thats a lady or I might be gay. :-P
What would be wrong with that? :-P he he
Yes. That is a lady. :-)
-
invent the ankleholster for phones
That would only cause foot-cancer! :-)
-
that_punk_guy wrote:
bloodline wrote:
Dude!!! Your Avatar... please tell me thats a lady or I might be gay. :-P
What would be wrong with that? :-P he he
Yes. That is a lady. :-)
Thank goodness for that... I was having a bit of an identity crisis back there.
A friend of yours?
-
Yeah... :-D
-
Close friend?
-
Hmmm... maybe ;-)
:-D
-
any more photos?
-
:lol:
I think sharing them would be a faux pas ;-)
-
A girl friend shared is a problem halved!
-
bloodline wrote:
A girl friend shared is a problem halved!
Er....
-
Why are the public toilets so bad? Well, the only times I go there are when I really have to, and I mean as in emergency. Now imagine the situation:
1. Run in, trying not to run to fast to keep the goo inside.
2. Find a cubicle that is not occupied, and not already full off goo, and has toilet paper, while doing #1
3. Quarter second after you touch-down on the plastic ring, it breaks out. 2 seconds later it is over, and everything beneath your behind is covered in goo.
4. Ofcourse there is no brush or any other tool to clean up your mess, so you just flush and leave.
Now, as you can clearly see, we are in an evil circle of toilet devastation. The next visitior will of course not dare to come to close, and piss mostly on the floor.
-
Karlos wrote:
bloodline wrote:
A girl friend shared is a problem halved!
Er....
I'm sure you appreciate the sentiment.
-
I'm freaked out.
-
:bump: Blame PMC :-P.
Anyhoo, to continue this thread in style. How do people handle stuffed toilets. Once in a while I produce too much processed food for a toilet to handle, no matter how hard I flush it just won't make the bends (we got a new toilet recently which doesn't have this problem luckily, but the old toilet was hell). I solve this by jammeing a load of toilet paper on top and squashing it with the toilet brush. That way the brush won't get covered in brown goo, only in white strands of paper. I've had episodes where I had to flush 4 times on the old toilet...
-
Can we merge this and the sock thread?
:lol:
-
odin wrote:
:bump: Blame PMC :-P.
Anyhoo, to continue this thread in style. How do people handle stuffed toilets. Once in a while I produce too much processed food for a toilet to handle, no matter how hard I flush it just won't make the bends (we got a new toilet recently which doesn't have this problem luckily, but the old toilet was hell). I solve this by jammeing a load of toilet paper on top and squashing it with the toilet brush. That way the brush won't get covered in brown goo, only in white strands of paper. I've had episodes where I had to flush 4 times on the old toilet...
Toilet paper is too messy for the brush. I usually try to find some old rag (sock? :-P) and use that instead.
-
It lives!! :-D
But please, no more socks. ;-)
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odin wrote:
Anyhoo, to continue this thread in style. How do people handle stuffed toilets.
A latex glove, a deep breath and plenty of antibacterial handwash at the ready...
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that_punk_guy wrote:
A latex glove, a deep breath and plenty of antibacterial handwash at the ready...
And a bucket next to the toilet incase you can't keep your breath long enough :-)
-
odin wrote:
:bump: Blame PMC :-P.
Anyhoo, to continue this thread in style. How do people handle stuffed toilets. Once in a while I produce too much processed food for a toilet to handle, no matter how hard I flush it just won't make the bends (we got a new toilet recently which doesn't have this problem luckily, but the old toilet was hell). I solve this by jammeing a load of toilet paper on top and squashing it with the toilet brush. That way the brush won't get covered in brown goo, only in white strands of paper. I've had episodes where I had to flush 4 times on the old toilet...
omg, that makes me remind of the student house I lived in two years ago. The maintenance of that house was desperately bad, if the house would have manual, that manual would be as thick as a telephone book. If you would shower in the morning, you should be prepared of ice cold shower moments. Also, asbestos plates were stored in the passage. I got the room from my sister, who already lived there. She had some conflicts with the housemaster already, about for instance making a complete mess of her room for "maintenance" (without her approval for acces to her room), more like making a big hole in the wall for tubes of a bad-functioning heating. Things like privacy were non-existant there. Luckily we're living in our own houses now.
edit - ot political rant:
if ppl are enterprising like this, it's no miracle that economies are destroyed by lawsuits :-x
-
Ladies and Gents
Those of you who have smiled at this thread, must avail yourselves of the following prank phone call:
Title: Angry Janitor II
By: Touchtone Terrorists (They changed their name to Junkyard Willie, so it might be under that name)
When I first heard it I was laughing so hard I was almost incontinent. I was like a zebra on novacaine, spluttering and writhing on the floor, not even realising I was still holding onto the mouse...
Highly recommended, especially for Odin
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I went to the Mens public toilets a few day ago,i need a tissue to wipe my nose, no other reason. And when i wen't in there i literally almost threw up. When i opened the door the smell immediatly ambushed me (and you can take a guess at what i seen on the floor :nervous:). It was so bad, i had to hold my breath and quickly done what i wanted and just rushed staight out. That was the worst state of toilets i have ever seen, i didn't know how bad it can really get. I also feel very sorry for the cleaner who has to sort out the mess that some moron had made. It seems the modern world is full of apes rather than human beings.
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Yuck.
Our office toilet is two doors away from the kitchen and adjacent to the reception area. Our secretaries are constantly moaning about people who use the amenities for a number two, so much so that they literally humiliate anyone unfortunate enough to be witnessed spending longer than a minute in the smallest room.
Chief offender is our senior partner. He runs the secretaries ragged and drives them nuts so one of them spiked his coffee with Optrex out of revenge. However, her stunt backfired (literally) royally, when said boss then spent the whole afternoon in the toilet and poor secretary had to spend the afternoon working in the resulting fallout.
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:lol:
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Oh, and there's a story that must be told about the "date from hell"...
A year ago I was lodging with my mate Phil. Being a batchelor builder, Phil's attitude to bathroom cleanliness was shall we say, very relaxed. Basically you only used the lavatory out of extreme necessity.
Anyway, I went out for dinner with this girl who I'd been seeing on and off (mostly off) and she drove me back to Phil's. Half way back she said "Do you mind if I use your loo? I really need to go". Dread began to descend on me, I'd warned her of my pal's liberal attitude to housekeeping but I couldn't exactly say "why don't you go behind a bush or something?".
Anyway, my original plan of a peck on the cheek and a merry goodbye shot down in flames I ushered her in. Phil's dog immediately runs up to greet her and in doing so slobbers all over her black cashmere coat. She shoots everyone in the room an evil look so I politely usher her upstairs in the direction of the bathroom.
Phil and my other mate who was over for the evening took an instant dislike to her, especially when she seemed to be taking ages in the loo. Eventually she appeared with lipstick touched up and I see her off home with a quick kiss on the cheek, noting that she appeared to be in a state of shock after witnessing the full horror of the bathroom.
I headed back inside knowing full well that Phil's bathroom had gone down like a lead balloon and needed to pay a visit myself, whereupon I was met with what had to be the most fearful stench I've ever encountered. I immediatley ran downstairs to confront Phil and Clive, ready to chastise them for leaving the bathroom in such a condition when we had guests.
However, neither party was responsible and having privately blamed the devastation on me the awful truth dawned that the culprit was at that moment driving herself home... My mate never did take to her!
Some things just aren't meant to be.
[disclaimer]
BTW, since I've got my own flat I can assure everyone that the standard of cleanliness in my bathroom is maintained to a very high standard!
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:lol: I didn't think it was physically possible to piss when you've got a boner?
Well, if you can manage to aim, it's perfectly possible. Usually I sit down and try to bend it in order to aim,
in that situation.
:-P
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mikeymike wrote:
Got a solution for the "random direction" problem? :-)
Yep. Just retract it fully before you piss. That makes sure that the head is aligned to the part you're holding. :-)
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that_punk_guy wrote:
Soooo....
You guys stand up when you gotta wipe, or...?
(Sorry.)
Depends on the situation. :-)
I always sit if the toilet is clean. In this flat, it's always dirty and I'm too tired of sterilizing it all the time.
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Hello
I am not sure if this has already been mentioned, but i hate it when you are about to use the public toilet, but realize their are holes in the walls for demented wierdo's to look through. Resulting in jamming toilet paper in any holes for about 10 minutes, in order to get some bloody privacy.
Regards,
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CU_AMiGA wrote:
Hello
I am not sure if this has already been mentioned, but i hate it when you are about to use the public toilet, but realize their are holes in the walls for demented wierdo's to look through. Resulting in jamming toilet paper in any holes for about 10 minutes, in order to get some bloody privacy.
Regards,
Those are what are known as Glory holes. Usually I see those at dirty bookstores or gay bars. What other kind of places do you see them?
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graffias79 wrote:
CU_AMiGA wrote:
Hello
I am not sure if this has already been mentioned, but i hate it when you are about to use the public toilet, but realize their are holes in the walls for demented wierdo's to look through. Resulting in jamming toilet paper in any holes for about 10 minutes, in order to get some bloody privacy.
Regards,
Those are what are known as Glory holes. Usually I see those at dirty bookstores or gay bars. What other kind of places do you see them?
The toilets i was referring to are mainly public ones, and ones that are at my college. They normally happen with the cardboard thin walls.
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graffias79 wrote:
Those are what are known as Glory holes. Usually I see those at dirty bookstores or gay bars. What other kind of places do you see them?
:roflmao: :roflmao:
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So... Why is aloe vera toilet paper harsher on my bum than the normal stuff? :-?
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I thought this thread should be opened again :-)
And because I'm old-fashioned drunk again, like the good old times.
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NoFastMem wrote:
So... Why is aloe vera toilet paper harsher on my bum than the normal stuff? :-?
Because it's yer bum sweety...
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We can't have people performing necrophilia on dead threads all the time! Move along people, nothing to see here!
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Speelgoedmannetje wrote:
I thought this thread should be opened again :-)
And because I'm old-fashioned drunk again, like the good old times.
I believe thats, "LET the good times roll"
:crazy: you really are drunk!
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the last time an old thread was resurrected it was locked :-(
Some are classics though, like this one, and deserve not to die! :-D
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In the interest of being on-topic (see...the thread never died, we're just a little behind on the boards lately!!)
I would like to point out that while men's public restrooms tend to smell, women's public urinals tend to be extremely messy...usually with large amounts of paper (toilet and otherwise, with and without blood on it) on floors, and massive amounts of water everywhere. The truth is women's public restrooms are just as nasty as mens, it's just that men's are more directly offensive to ppl that aren't a part of the cleaning staff.
*This message was brought to you by my ex who worked on a cleaning staff for many years*
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cecilia wrote:
Speelgoedmannetje wrote:
I thought this thread should be opened again :-)
And because I'm old-fashioned drunk again, like the good old times.
I believe thats, "LET the good times roll"
:crazy: you really are drunk!
It should indeed be that. Sometimes, one can have good ideas while being drunk :banana:
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odin wrote:
We can't have people performing necrophilia on dead threads all the time! Move along people, nothing to see here!
Aw come on now, Odin! Throw that calvinist straitjacket away!
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odin wrote:
We can't have people performing necrophilia on dead threads all the time! Move along people, nothing to see here!
Pah, you can talk, didn't you ressurect the other one? :-D
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Karlos wrote:
odin wrote:
We can't have people performing necrophilia on dead threads all the time! Move along people, nothing to see here!
Pah, you can talk, didn't you ressurect the other one? :-D
The one with "gayspy" Blomberg?
(http://www.amiga.org/images/subject/icon26.gif)
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Was it that one? :lol:
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:lol:
But that one got locked I think :-(.
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:bump:
This thread officially bumped as part of the Reclamation of the Org...
Let the good times roll!
*ducks*
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mikeymike wrote:
Wash regularly. And thoroughly. That way nothing sticks and sends liquids off at bad trajectories.
I wish you had PM'd that, makes me look like a skanky... :-)
Hmm, that would explain why it happens first thing in the morning.
If you can think of any other excuses as good or better than this one, pmail them to me ;-)
:roflmao:
Where else could you read a quality remark like that from a moderator?
God, I forgot how funny this thread was!
-edit-
I just finished reading it again. It's been long enough for me to forget most of it. Did we really come out with all that? :lol:
When it comes to the gender gap surrounding toilets, where would this person (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/6094782.stm) fit in?
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Wain wrote:
In the interest of being on-topic (see...the thread never died, we're just a little behind on the boards lately!!)
I would like to point out that while men's public restrooms tend to smell, women's public urinals tend to be extremely messy...usually with large amounts of paper (toilet and otherwise, with and without blood on it) on floors, and massive amounts of water everywhere. The truth is women's public restrooms are just as nasty as mens, it's just that men's are more directly offensive to ppl that aren't a part of the cleaning staff.
*This message was brought to you by my ex who worked on a cleaning staff for many years*
Having also worked as a cleaner, I have to concur with this.
:nervous: :eek:
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Yeeeeeehaw! :banana:
now where were we?
Punkie was doing things with supposedly Cecilia in a toilet or he came out of the closet with a new American g/f or something like that wasn't it?
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OMFG! It's ALIIIIVEE! :lol:
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AmiGR wrote:
mikeymike wrote:
Got a solution for the "random direction" problem? :-)
Yep. Just retract it fully before you piss. That makes sure that the head is aligned to the part you're holding. :-)
This doesn't solve "the twister" where for no apparent reason your jet twists into a sort of helical flow that's usually very close to splitting into two completely seperate streams. Often with messy consequences as you can only realistically aim one of them....
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As regards the problem of the errant drops of urine upon reholstering the member, they have developed a cure for this in South Africa. A friend of mine had this problem, that he could shake it as much as he liked, but as soon as he put it away and zipped up his trousers, he would feel the drops of urine come out in his pants.
So he went to the urologist and paid the guy about 200 bucks to have a single nose-hair implanted in his urethra, about halfway up. My buddy didn't think this would work, but it does!
Apparently, as those drops are about to come out, he hears an audible "sniff" and the drops go back into his bladder instead.
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Haha! That sounds like a cool sollution. But why a nose hair?
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Proof that the best old threads never die, they just get more entertaining with age...
:lol:
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whabang wrote:
Haha! That sounds like a cool sollution. But why a nose hair?
I think it was a joke ;-)
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Ja, and I have to confess that the medical story I told you about hair and nipples and new fathers was also a load of bilge. I just can't help myself sometimes :-P
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:bump:
They don't make them threads like they used to, yessirreebob.
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:banana:
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(http://mccainforpresident.org/images/the-young-clintons.jpg)
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Since this thread just won't die...
The below, one of the funniest moments in the thread reminded me of something.
KennyR wrote:
At 5am, best I can recommend is a two fisted manual realignment. It's not easy, though. It's like pushing a B52 into a dive.
That I'm the long standing inventor (or has everything related to human body parts been tried before?!) of the following "advanced maneuver", and I might as well open source it (poetically):
It rhymes a little with "if you can't beat'em, then join'em", and it goes like this:
"If you can't turn the canon, turn the ship!" :-)
For the imagination deficient, or the mechanical engineers and other analytical types: put one hand on the canon, and the other in a "Hi Hitler" stance, and lean 'til you make contact with the wall. You just gained a good 35-45 degrees declination. You might just make it into the bowl now! ( Fine text: make sure floor is not already wet, you might just end up with your head in the bowl instead!!! :-D )
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The inevitable soultion is to just stand in the shower... Relax... Ablute... Return to bed.
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da9000 wrote:
For the imagination deficient, or the mechanical engineers and other analytical types: put one hand on the canon, and the other in a "Hi Hitler" stance, and lean 'til you make contact with the wall. You just gained a good 35-45 degrees declination. You might just make it into the bowl now! ( Fine text: make sure floor is not already wet, you might just end up with your head in the bowl instead!!! :-D )
I do this too :lol: There's nothing worse than your knob touching the inside of the bowl (http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/p/puke.gif)
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moto
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bloodline wrote:
The inevitable soultion is to just stand in the shower... Relax... Ablute... Return to bed.
:lol: I can only get away with that when I'm actually having a shower. If I did it in the middle of the night my other half would hear, and then there would be trouble... ;-)
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moto
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Get in!!
:-D
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motorollin wrote:
bloodline wrote:
The inevitable soultion is to just stand in the shower... Relax... Ablute... Return to bed.
:lol: I can only get away with that when I'm actually having a shower. If I did it in the middle of the night my other half would hear, and then there would be trouble... ;-)
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moto
Ahhh, the joy of being single... My status as such, that is becoming less of a mystery with my every post :-D
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motorollin wrote:
I do this too :lol: There's nothing worse than your knob touching the inside of the bowl (http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/p/puke.gif)
Actually...
Consider having a huge number 2 (I swear some of the produce I leave in the toilet reminds me of elephants sometimes, the ones where multiple flushes just can't seem to shift the bugger) and relaxing for on the throne for a second after all that hard work letting Mr. Johnson dangling free in the boil....getting a somewhat damp, brown total make-over.
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Mmm, delightful.
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moto
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Wow, I didn't even have to go far for this one!
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Karlos wrote:
Wow, I didn't even have to go far for this one!
Ahhhh, the motherthread!!!
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bloodline wrote:
Karlos wrote:
Wow, I didn't even have to go far for this one!
Ahhhh, the motherthread!!!
I thought I fessed up about that in the other one?
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Karlos wrote:
bloodline wrote:
Karlos wrote:
Wow, I didn't even have to go far for this one!
Ahhhh, the motherthread!!!
I thought I fessed up about that in the other one?
:lol:
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If I'm your mother, the question is....
...who's yer fekkin' daddy?
X-D
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Karlos wrote:
If I'm your mother, the question is....
...who's yer fekkin' daddy?
X-D
I'm off to abuse the Sock... Night all!
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motorollin wrote:
da9000 wrote:
For the imagination deficient, or the mechanical engineers and other analytical types: put one hand on the canon, and the other in a "Hi Hitler" stance, and lean 'til you make contact with the wall. You just gained a good 35-45 degrees declination. You might just make it into the bowl now! ( Fine text: make sure floor is not already wet, you might just end up with your head in the bowl instead!!! :-D )
I do this too :lol: There's nothing worse than your knob touching the inside of the bowl (http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/p/puke.gif)
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moto
You should give it a good wash after every widdle anyway! :)
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bloodline wrote:
Karlos wrote:
If I'm your mother, the question is....
...who's yer fekkin' daddy?
X-D
I'm off to abuse the Sock... Night all!
G'night
I'm off too.
I'll have to try and make a habit of visiting this place again. :-D
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bloodline wrote:
Karlos wrote:
If I'm your mother, the question is....
...who's yer fekkin' daddy?
X-D
I'm off to abuse the Sock... Night all!
You're still online :-D
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bloodline wrote:
Karlos wrote:
If I'm your mother, the question is....
...who's yer fekkin' daddy?
X-D
I'm off to abuse the Sock... Night all!
I think I'll join you.
By going to bed, I mean. Really folks, drag yourselves out of the mental gutter for a minute, purlease :lol: ;-)
Hypocrite? Moi?
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Speelgoedmannetje wrote:
bloodline wrote:
Karlos wrote:
If I'm your mother, the question is....
...who's yer fekkin' daddy?
X-D
I'm off to abuse the Sock... Night all!
You're still online :-D
Blame the iPhone...
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bloodline wrote:
Blame the iPhone...
Yeah, now you can look at pictures of socks on the one hand whilst holding one for real in the other. Clearly a win-win scenario :-D
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Karlos wrote:
bloodline wrote:
Blame the iPhone...
Yeah, now you can look at pictures of socks on the one hand whilst holding one for real in the other. Clearly a win-win scenario :-D
He can even take pictures inside even the most narrow socks!
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Well... I just stayed at Becky's place in Windermere for two nights and the toilet there is just feeble.
Normally I don't need to go for the mid-"business" courtesy flush, but it's one of those oddly flat bowls and I had to evacuate it lest it overflow!
Then of course it took 20 minutes for the cistern to refill. It's the lakes for Christ's sake, they've got enough water!
Worst of all, if you go numero uno whilst standing, the proximity of the water level to the rim means that it splashes back all over your legs, like at the start of a proper downpour. Don't they test these things? Very disappointed in the facilities!
;-)
Nice jaunt though... Shame about the awful weather.
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Karlos wrote:
bloodline wrote:
Blame the iPhone...
Yeah, now you can look at pictures of socks on the one hand whilst holding one for real in the other. Clearly a win-win scenario :-D
Here's a photo of Bloodline's actual hand holding his actual iPhone:
(http://i298.photobucket.com/albums/mm244/motorollin/aorg/sock.png)
I've got another photo of what his other hand was doing, but I won't post that.
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moto
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motorollin wrote:
I've got another photo of what his other hand was doing, but I won't post that.
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moto
It would just be a blur anyway....
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Pfft, a grey, woolen blur :-D We should probably stop. He'll be back tomorrow and then he'll get his own back :nervous:
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Just in case anyone is stumped about what to get Bloodline for Christmas:-
http://shop.o2.co.uk/accessory/Apple_iPhone_Socks
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It's amazing that this legend continues, really :-)
How long ago did the sock incident become public now?
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uncharted wrote:
Just in case anyone is stumped about what to get Bloodline for Christmas:-
http://shop.o2.co.uk/accessory/Apple_iPhone_Socks
Linky no worky...
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Karlos wrote:
It's amazing that this legend continues, really :-)
How long ago did the sock incident become public now?
You of all people should know, it was your thread that started it all :-P
Edit...The thread that started it all... (http://www.amiga.org/forums/showthread.php?t=12428)
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Oh yeah.
Man, I totally forgot about that!
Somewhere, my simple message of the pleasures of a thick pair of warm socks on a cold pair of feet was lost amidst the immensity of bloodline's offhand revelation :lol:
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And remember kids, if it's not quite a sh!t but it's definitely more than an a fart, it's a SHART!
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adz wrote:
And remember kids, if it's not quite a sh!t but it's definitely more than an a fart, it's a SHART!
Which, somewhat confusingly is also what the word "sh!te" would sound like in a strong Lancashire accent.
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motorollin wrote:
Karlos wrote:
bloodline wrote:
Blame the iPhone...
Yeah, now you can look at pictures of socks on the one hand whilst holding one for real in the other. Clearly a win-win scenario :-D
Here's a photo of Bloodline's actual hand holding his actual iPhone:
(http://www.mashley.net/sock.png)
I've got another photo of what his other hand was doing, but I won't post that.
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moto
(http://smiliesftw.com/x/big_laugh_lol.gif)
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/me casts raise
No real excuse this time apart from the fact it made me literally laugh out loud reading it again!