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Coffee House => Coffee House Boards => CH / General => Topic started by: Karlos on March 10, 2007, 10:50:15 AM
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Yes folks, you read that right.
So, the story. I decided to take a couple of days off next week to visit my folks. For some insane reason I figured I'd get the coach.
As it happens I only managed to get to the station to book the ticket yesterday (9th) after work, around 6:15pm and booked a tikect for today at 1.05pm.
This morning whilst packing a bag, I looked over the ticket. Only to discover the outward journey was for Friday 9th March, 1.05.
I'm not entirely sure how I am supposed to catch that one. Any chance National Express have been upgrading their fleet to run on flux capacitors :-?
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Well, that has to rank as the most abortive visit home ever.
Despite getting my ticket screwed up (twice!) I finally got back. Only to spend 3 days at the crib in the grip of a particularly nasty flu type bug. Today was the first day I could actually get out of bed without having the shakes and got on the first thing back I could find. I'm much better (insofar as I am actually able to write this) but I fear my lungs have been plagued by some bizzare alien life form that resembles an oyster. They've been gestating and coming out regularly for the last 24 hours...
:quarantined:
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Noooooooooo the attack of the lung oysters!
Dammit, I had that one, with the body pains and sore head recently. It was a right bugger, I tell you.
I don't know what you can do to sort that. The only thing that helped me was a bottle of Irish Mist and some codeine syrup. The problem with that, is that you will be dopey and will have to compensate by drinking V.
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I think this sign is quite appropriate ;-)
(http://www.graphicproducts.com/images/biohazard-sign.gif)
:lol:
Hope you're feeling better mate :-)
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@ Karlos
I just spoke to our top respiratory physician at the hospital, and he has given me some information to give to you.
What you have there is a bacterial infection caused by a strain of broccococcus. Basically it is from eating too much broccoli.
But don't worry, there is a cure: you must eat 50 Brussels sprouts, one after the other, very quickly. That kills the infection.
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you must eat 50 Brussels sprouts, one after the other, very quickly. That kills the infection.
And anyone else unfortunate enough to be within the immediate vicinity. ;-)
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X-ray wrote:
@ Karlos
I just spoke to our top respiratory physician at the hospital, and he has given me some information to give to you.
What you have there is a bacterial infection caused by a strain of broccococcus. Basically it is from eating too much broccoli.
But don't worry, there is a cure: you must eat 50 Brussels sprouts, one after the other, very quickly. That kills the infection.
:roflmao:
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I had that one last week... I'm still coughing nasty lumps of green lung.
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Karlos wrote:
I'm not entirely sure how I am supposed to catch that one. Any chance National Express have been upgrading their fleet to run on flux capacitors :-?
You may be right Karlos, National Express might have installed a "Mr Fusion" in the back of their coaches to throw you back in time and arrive before you started the journey.
The only problem is that I believe this system required a velocity of approximately 88mph in order to work. However, coaches are limited to only 56mph. You might try freewheeling the coach down a steep hill to reach the necessary velocity, however you might be thwarted by a Gatso on the way.
Unless National Express are offering a deal on a De Lorean?
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@X-Ray
To be honest, eating sprouts wouldn't be a problem at the moment. I cant smell or taste anything at all. I just had an espresso and it just tasted like water.
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How you feeling today?
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moto
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Thanks for asking :-)
In truth, like sh*t, but less so than yesterday.
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That lurgy is a bad one, my friends. Break out the Irish Mist, it is your only hope. It is the modern day Medicinal Compound(TM)
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Get well soon Karlos... It's a shame that you're a teetotaller, I often find that a half litre of finest Scotch helps ease the passage of the lurgy from my system.
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Alcohol is not the answer. I eat large quantities of fruit and high-protein/complex carb-laden food, and get loads of exercise. I can't remember the last time I had a cold. And I'm someone who was constantly ill with colds and infections as a child.
Hope you get better soon mate :-(
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moto
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BTW I have taken advantage of Karlos's incapacitation to get my post count up to 3000 :-D I'm hot on your heels Brussel Boy :evilgrin:
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moto
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I havent had a cold for ages. This one just came up out of nowhere and kicked the crap out of me :-(
Back at work today, just in time for the weekend.
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@ Karlos
If you can't have alcohol, then I suggest a few drops of friar's balsam in a bowl of boiled water. Just inhale those vapours, you will feel better.
Make sure you get the drops, not the cream. Here is the description for the topical application:
Can be used as an antiseptic and protectant to minor cuts and abrasions, chapped skin and lips, cracked nipples, small fissures of skin and anus, bedsores, indolent ulcers, herpes simplex, and gingivitis. Can relieve itching of chilblains, eczema, and urticaria.
;-)
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Of course, if you have been coughing violently, you may well have suffered cracked nipples and small fissures of the anus, in which case you should get the cream too :-P
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Put a big splodge of Black Cumin Seed Oil in a bowl of hot water and inhale the fumes.
Rub it on your chest and throat before bed too.
Cures all ills. :-)
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A damn good authentic Ruby Murray works for me.
A.Org curry night anyone?
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PMC wrote:
A damn good authentic Ruby Murray works for me.
A.Org curry night anyone?
Sounds good to me.
Wilmslow Road (Manc), Ladypool Road (Brum), or Brick Lane (Landan)? :-D
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It's gotta be Lahndan innit!
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PMC wrote:
It's gotta be Lahndan innit!
Fack awf ya cant! ;-)
Midlands means everyone has to travel, except AGAFaster and moi and the finest curry known to man is served up on Ladypool road. It's a scientific fact. :-)
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Hehe!
Poor Cecilia has to jet over from NYC... We should organise some sort of curry bash, followed by a few jars of finest Kingfisher or Cobra lager.
I'm getting peckish now.
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motorollin wrote:
BTW I have taken advantage of Karlos's incapacitation to get my post count up to 3000 :-D I'm hot on your heels Brussel Boy :evilgrin:
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moto
One third of the way to joining me here in the rankless void and you only joined towards the end of 2005 :-o