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Coffee House => Coffee House Boards => CH / General => Topic started by: mick_aka on March 02, 2007, 04:04:44 PM
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To the citizens of the United States of America, in the light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.
To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
1. You should look up revocation in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up aluminium. Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour', skipping the letter 'U' is nothing more than laziness on your part. Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters. You will end your love affair with the letter 'Z' (pronounced 'zed' not 'zee') and the suffix ize will be replaced by the suffix ise. You will learn that the suffix 'burgh' is pronounced 'burra' e.g. Edinburgh. You are welcome to respell Pittsburgh as 'Pittsberg' if you can't cope with correct pronunciation.
Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up vocabulary. Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up interspersed. There will be no more 'bleeps' in the Jerry Springer show. If you're not old enough to cope with bad language then you shouldn't have chat shows. When you learn to develop your vocabulary then you won't have to use bad language as often.
2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of -ize.
3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to {bleep}ney,upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier). You will also have to learn how to understand regional accents - Scottish dramas such as Taggart will no longer be broadcast with subtitles. While we're talking about regions, you must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is Devon. If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become shires e.g. Texasshire, Floridashire, Louisianashire.
4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys. Hollywood will be required to cast English actors to play English characters. British sit-coms such as Men Behaving Badly or Red Dwarf will not be re-cast and watered down for a wishy-washy American audience who can't cope with the humour of occasional political incorrectness.
5. You should relearn your original national anthem, God Save The Queen but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through.
6. You should stop playing American football. There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American football is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays American football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US Rugby sevens side by 2005. You should stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.15% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders,your error is understandable. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls' game called rounders, which is baseball without fancy team strip, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.
7. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler. Because we don't believe you are sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you will require a permit if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 2nd will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called Indecisive Day.
9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. You will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time,you will go metric with immediate effect and conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips. Fries aren't even French, they are Belgian though 97.85% of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium. Those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be served warm and flat. Waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.
11. As a sign of penance 5 grams of sea salt per cup will be added to all tea made within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, this quantity to be doubled for tea made within the city of Boston itself.
12. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all, it is lager. From November 1st only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer,and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. The substances formerly known as American Beer will henceforth be referred to as Near-Frozen Knat's Urine,with the exception of the product of the American Budweiser company whose product will be referred to as Weak Near-Frozen Knat's Urine. This will allow true Budweiser (as manufactured for the last 1000 years in Pilsen,Czech Republic) to be sold without risk of confusion.
13. From November 10th the UK will harmonise petrol (or Gasoline, as you will be permitted to keep calling it until April 1st) prices with the former USA. The UK will harmonise its prices to those of the former USA and the Former USA will, in return, adopt UK petrol prices (roughly $6/US gallon- get used to it).
14. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.
15. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.
16. Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).
Thank you for your co-operation and have a great day.
John Cleese
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:-D :-D :-D :-D :-D
[color=ff0000]FANTASTIC!!!![/color][/b]
:-D :-D :-D :-D :-D
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nice to read about the little transcontinental differences :)
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ahem cough cough (http://www.amiga.org/forums/showthread.php?t=13063) ;-)
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Nasty cough you have there.
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mick_aka wrote:
Nasty cough you have there.
Fair point though.
Besides, the previous thread has Fade and Kenny getting catty with one another. That's unrepeatable history.
$name = "fade";
print ($name, " soon ", $name, "d away, huh?\n");
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Actually, I rather like the idea of revoking American independence, or at least seeking regime change.
However, I'd waive the above if someone enlightened took the presidency (step forward Cecilia, hehe).
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However, I'd waive the above if someone enlightened took the presidency (step forward Cecilia, hehe).
the problem is the smart ones are smart enough not to want that position.
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We have the same malaise here. Record number of people are staying at home during elections because (in the words of Marilyn Manson) 'It's like being asked which pile of dung you find the most appealing'.
I reckon la cece could change all that.
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Bloody hilarious :lol: :lol: :lol:
Sad thing is, from the rest of the worlds perspective, 99% of it is true.
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(http://www.homeofheroes.com/hallofheroes/1st_floor/flag/flag_0.gif)
:lol:
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PMC wrote:
Actually, I rather like the idea of revoking American independence, or at least seeking regime change.
However, I'd waive the above if someone enlightened took the presidency (step forward Cecilia, hehe).
HAHA!
Oh, great, now I have to mop up the mess all those other a$$holes made!!!
And here I wanted to spend a nice quiet evening at home!!!! :roll:
Never a moments peace! :-D
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We actually all belong to Spain.
(http://i14.tinypic.com/2ecnq7a.jpg)
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I belong to nobody! (Or well, perhaps the IBG..)
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@ PMC
"Actually, I rather like the idea of revoking American independence"
More UK bluster again!
And yet three years after that first post, not one of you have stepped forward to try to enforce these funny little suggestions. Methinks that's about all the UK has left. Suggestions!
Meanwhile you might suggest to the old Queenie that she should try it on one of her other old possessions that she might be able to conquer. Maybe Malta or Uganda. :lol:
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............
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Methinks that's about all the UK has left. Suggestions!
At least we have the intellectual capacity to make them. What have you got? :-P
"Might is right!" and all that sh!te.
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I would like to add that adjectives and adverbs are NOT interchangeable. "You did good" makes my skin crawl.
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moto
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odin wrote:
I belong to nobody! (Or well, perhaps the IBG..)
I belong to Lloyds TSB... :-(
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Karlos wrote:
"Might is right!" and all that sh!te.
It's how the British Empire was built.
Mind you, it's bit hard to maintain your Empire when everyone with any "get up and go", got up and went.
To the US, Australia, South Africa....
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@shilltard
You say it like I ought to be sad that we are no longer in a realistic position to subjugate and plunder the resources of entire nations.
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How the mighty have fallen (http://eureferendum.blogspot.com/2007/01/how-mighty-have-fallen.html)
Active British Navy
(17) frigates
(42) destroyers
( 2) (Invincible class) Light Aircraft Carriers (18 to 23) aircraft & helicopters, Displacement 20,700 tons (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Invincible_class_aircraft_carrier)
( 0) Sea Harriers
(13) Submarines
(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/8/81/USS_John_C._Stennis_%28CVN-74%29_%26_HMS_Illustrious_%28R_06%29.jpg/800px-USS_John_C._Stennis_%28CVN-74%29_%26_HMS_Illustrious_%28R_06%29.jpg)
HMS Illustrious (20,600 tons) with the USS John C. Stennis (104,000 tons)
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@Metalman
Ah, but we're getting new ones shortly and I'm assured they're bigger too.
It raises an interesting point:
USS Winston S Churchill - is the only US Navy warship with a foreign officer onboard on it's permanent crew roster (Royal Navy). It also is unique in the US Navy for having a fully stocked bar, any vessel bearing Churchill's name should expect nothing less, hehe :pint:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/USS_Winston_S._Churchill
There is a Royal Navy frigate with a serving US Navy officer as a permanent crewmember, but I can't recall the ship in question.
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It's the HMS Marlborough, which is due to be decomissioned. Incidentally, the Marlborough was the first ship to render assistance to the stricken USS Cole when it was damaged in Aden in October 2000.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HMS_Marlborough_%28F233%29
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I like that idea as long as we get some decent british tv programming along with the deal. I really like 'A touch of Frost' and maybe they can make some more Faulty Towers or even Monty Python episodes.
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brits are just upset that we were once theirs. but they screwed up and pissed us off by not allowing us representation in government.
we were their little brother, then we grew up and they are our little brother, we developed our own culture (which everyone seems to feel the need to look down on) and our own region specific pronunciations, spelling, and grammer.
its amazing how much people make of something from john cleese (i realize it was likely tongue in cheek) i am familiar with his work.
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KThunder wrote:
(which everyone seems to feel the need to look down on)
You know why? Because your 'culture' has no feeling, no guts (or well, culture as in: what the majority brings up as 'culture'). And you do not seem to have any sense of humour either.
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what exactly do you mean no feeling, no guts. our culture is as sofisticated and deep as any in europe, it is just different.
i have a sense of humour, i know the original quote was meant to be humourous. i think it is funny that people take it and run the way they do.
* yeah stupid americans, uncultured, illiterate, clods imperial freaks (as though the european empires never existed and the us actually had an empire)
im amazed at how many people form their opinions of other countries based seemingly on info from sitcoms.
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PMC wrote:
@Metalman
Ah, but we're getting new ones shortly and I'm assured they're bigger too.
It raises an interesting point:
USS Winston S Churchill - is the only US Navy warship with a foreign officer onboard on it's permanent crew roster (Royal Navy). It also is unique in the US Navy for having a fully stocked bar, any vessel bearing Churchill's name should expect nothing less, hehe
Assuming they are not cut due to funding problems.
Britannia Flees the Seas (http://www.strategypage.com/htmw/htsurf/articles/20070103.aspx)
Do they know something? (http://eureferendum.blogspot.com/2006/11/do-they-know-something.html)
The MoD plans to build, (8) Type 45 Destroyers (£1 billion each), (2) aircraft carriers (£3.5-3.9 billion), (4) Astute class hunter killer submarines (£3 billion) and a fleet of up to 14 auxiliary ships (£3.5 billion).
The (2) future aircraft carriers (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Royal_Navy_CVF_programme) are planned at 65,000 tons and 280 meters long (carry 35 planes).
The US has (6) carriers in the reserve fleet and has offered one to Britain or Japan.
In 1963, by an Act of Congress, Winston S Churchill :cheers: was proclaimed an "Honorary Citizen of the United States". As First Lord of the Admiralty, Churchill would be distressed by the current state of the Royal Navy.
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I wouldn't be surprised if they were cut. However, a deal has been done with France to supply a second carrier to compliment the Charles De Gaulle. The De Gaulle took thirteen years to reach service and has been plagued with technical problems, so the French Navy are looking for a conventionally powered vessel next time round. The British design, with it's flexibility (it is designed with possible fitting of CATOBAR equipment in the future) is the closest thing they have to meeting their requirements.
Lessons from Afghanistan and UN peacekeeping duties have meant that the RN needs a more capable strike carrier fleet along the lines of the US Navy, however purchasing a USN reserve carrier would require extensive re-engineering and possibly mean high running costs.
BTW, Winston Churchill's mother was an American citizen...
[edit]
Actually Metalman, I think you'll find that the steam catapaults used on the US carriers was a British invention? As were the angled flight decks required to land and launch planes simultaneously....
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we developed our own culture (which everyone seems to feel the need to look down on) and our own region specific pronunciations, spelling, and grammer.
I believe it is known as "retardation" in your neck of the woods. ;-)
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PMC wrote:
Lessons from Afghanistan and UN peacekeeping duties have meant that the RN needs a more capable strike carrier fleet along the lines of the US Navy, however purchasing a USN reserve carrier would require extensive re-engineering and possibly mean high running costs.
Atually Metalman, I think you'll find that the steam catapaults used on the US carriers was a British invention? As were the angled flight decks required to land and launch planes simultaneously....
All good military innovations are copied.
The carriers are offered as a gift. The USS KENNEDY is now on its final port call before it is decommissioned.
A rare occurrence of a 5-country multinational carrier fleet (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Fleet_5_nations.jpg)
Charles de Gaulle (R91) is 40,600 tons, with 40 aircraft
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KThunder wrote:
i have a sense of humour, i know the original quote was meant to be humourous. i think it is funny that people take it and run the way they do.
While I don't think it's fair of Eyso to write American culture off completely, he has a point about your (and I mean you personally) sense of humour. No-one in this thread is taking it that seriously, why're you getting so upset?
Also:
imperial freaks (as though the european empires never existed and the us actually had an empire)
No-one alive today is to blame for the excesses of the old British Empire. As such, in all seriousness, no-one in their right mind actually cares whether we used to "own" you, nor do the acts of a dead generation of Britons make us feel any less qualified to protest the imperialist actions/stances of present governments.
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NoFastMem wrote:
No-one alive today is to blame for the excesses of the old British Empire. As such, in all seriousness, no-one in their right mind actually cares whether we used to "own" you, nor do the acts of a dead generation of Britons make us feel any less qualified to protest the imperialist actions/stances of present governments.
Here here!
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moto
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You mean 'hear' and someone else 'Fawlty' ;-).
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NoFastMem wrote:
While I don't think it's fair of Eyso to write American culture off completely,
I didn't write off the American culture completely.
(Heck no! There are fantastic aspects in the American culture).
Read my posts carefully before judging. I wrote too:
(or well, culture as in: what the majority brings up as 'culture').
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NoFastMem wrote:
While I don't think it's fair of Eyso to write American culture off completely, he has a point about your (and I mean you personally) sense of humour. No-one in this thread is taking it that seriously, why're you getting so upset?
no-one is taking it seriously, im not upset i typed no caps and used no angry :madashell:
the rest of your post i quite agree with. except that many seem to think that the us is being imperialistic when it simply is looking out for its interests, all countries do that.
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except that many seem to think that the us is being imperialistic when it simply is looking out for its interests, all countries do that.
Once you have amassed a large enough army and use force abroad to "look out for your interests", totally ignoring the opinion of other countries and deeming yourself unnacountable, there ceases to be any meaningful difference whatsoever.
The US, at the present time, is behaving imperialistically. There is no other conclusion supported by the available facts at this time.
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during world war II we were fighting a two front war against japan and germany, so we built a huge military. after the war the soviet union and its allys presented a credible threat to not only the us but its allys so we maintained the military now with other wars popping up all over we have found reason to keep it.
we have little interest in afghanistan other than their support of osama bin laden.
and before you say it our interest in iraq is not about oil. we never got much oil from iraq (france and russia did though) we dont now and we probably never will.
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KThunder wrote:
and before you say it our interest in iraq is not about oil. we never got much oil from iraq (france and russia did though) we dont now and we probably never will.
And how do you know that? Because your media or government tell you so, or because you have seen it for yourself?
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moto
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Karlos wrote:
The US, at the present time, is behaving imperialistically. There is no other conclusion supported by the available facts at this time.
"Imperialism" e.g.
"Colonial Imperialism" extending a nation's authority by colonial acquisition and the establishment of economic and political subjection over underdeveloped non-European nations.
"Capitalist Imperialism" a Marxist pejorative term defined as the global American economic exploitation of the worlds peoples, e.g. "capitalistic international trade and banking"
"Cultural Imperialism" a pejorative term for the widespread global domination of American culture
"American Imperialism" a pejorative term for American military action.
By Marxist "facts and conclusions" been to some rally's lately?
One man's dictatorship is another man's "true Democracy" (http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/nationworld/2003550491_venezuela01.html)
Imperialist Embargo Is Killing Fidel (http://www.thepeoplescube.com/red/viewtopic.php?t=1050)
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motorollin wrote:
[.
And how do you know that? Because your media or government tell you so, or because you have seen it for yourself?
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moto[/quote]
this is a matter of international media information and is supported on numerous sites and international sources.
in the first gulf war we were facing french jets and russian sams, artillery, weaponry and scuds all paid for with oil and oil money.
before this war there where several countries that were opposed to military action, france, germany, russia, and china, all of which got oil from iraq and sold weaponry etc. to iraq.
my media, government and other countries media and governments support this
but im betting that none of that matters because of your last line "have you seen it for yourself" nope i havent been to iraq and i didnt sit in on any deals between anyone. but im betting you havent either. we all have to depend on information from others. whether you believe any of it or not depends on your bias. i carefully trust the checks and balances built into our government, and the medias ability to sniff out problems (ratings permitted)
ps. your going to have fun with this one arent you
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The USA is dead, long live the USA!
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KThunder wrote
this is a matter of international media information and is supported on numerous sites and international sources.
Oh dear. You seem to be basing all your knowledge about this on the media.
And they always tell the truth/the whole story don't they.
Loving your country is one thing, but believing a bunch of money grabbing $£%^$^%'s is another.
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well loading up your family to go to iraq to examine the sales reciepts ain't practical either.
you have to get your info somehow and the media is supposed to be that means. unfortunately if the media only lies then we don't know {bleep}e other than a few drips and drabs of GENUINE info. which puts us all in the same boat nobody knows everything about anything even if you dedicate your life to it. so we do the best we can we compare the media outlets of multiple countries and try to piece together the truth(which can easily be wrong.)
now leema1290 where are you getting your info. i mean if you know all media outlets lie then how did you come to this conclusion. if you trust a mag,paper,tv,radio,internet news site, blog, etc, etc you are trusting the media(of which you have condemned to be liars.)
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@jkirk
Now, now, I said they don't always tell the truth, not the same as saying they never tell the truth.
I'm just naturally paranoid of people that promote interesting wars like USA vs Iran, and only say anything about the largest explosives haul in the UK after much prodding (All the explosives belonged to a white fella so wasn't 'newsworthy').
Media peeps are usually in it for the money/fame/power. Same as the politicians really, and look how trustworthy they are.
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@metalman
So, criticising your nations actions abroad as imperialistic automatically makes one a Marxist, ey?
:roflmao:
You really haven't the slightest clue, have you?
Back in the "good" old days, we took over weaker nations, toppled then installed their own administration or puppet governments, took what we wanted and basically were unnacountable the whole time we were doing it. Any significant protest could always be quelled with military force.
The times may have changed and some of the nuances of how these things are accomplished in the modern world, but frankly, you would have to be in complete denial to believe the current US administration is not behaving in this fashion. It has invaded sovereign nations without the backing of the international community and is probably planning punative strikes against another at this very moment. Its not as if they are answerable to anybody...
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I'm just naturally paranoid of people that promote interesting wars like USA vs Iran
i wouldn't go so far as to say that. being a little bit cynical is healthy. i actually agree with your first sentence
I said they don't always tell the truth, not the same as saying they never tell the truth.
it is just the way you put it in your original post made it seem they all lie. we are just stuck with our broken systems that too many people(politicians,businessmen,etc) take advantage of.
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jkirk wrote:
we are just stuck with our broken systems that too many people(politicians,businessmen,etc) take advantage of.
no we're not, it's just that people that become politicians are generally &*%$s, so we just need to change the way people get elected, for instance, the use of lie detectors, 24 hour surveillance, actual background checks, before someone is even gets to the prelims.
Then, with actual decent people in place in the government, we could change the WHOLE system, viva la revolution!
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no we're not, it's just that people that become politicians are generally &*%$s, so we just need to change the way people get elected, for instance, the use of lie detectors, 24 hour surveillance, actual background checks, before someone is even gets to the prelims.
well first off this is too 1984 ish for me.
second we elect good people to government positions every year. the problem is that they run into roadblocks. they then find out the only way to stay in office is to follow the others until finally they are just as corrupt as the corrupt ones.
third with the corporate funding of candidates we are actually being run by corporations not by the people. the budgets of the incumbents are so large that the rookies don't have a chance. term limits will help but then you will end up with people that don't know enough to do a proper job.
as i said we are stuck with what we got. the only way to fix the problems is a full scale coup. then remove everyone from office, bar lobbying, and start fresh.
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@kjirk
Hmmm, don't know about the USA, but Britain has got loads of outdated laws in place that no-one knows about, most of them are cow grazing rights, and random other unhelpful things, but there is probably something about "your current governing body it rubbish," most interesting laws can only be repealed by the King/Queen, so would still be valid...
Anyone know anything 'bout that kind of thing?
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did anbody see the episode of top gear where they were in the USA and they painted stuff on each others cars. like country sucks, an i love men, and hillary clinton for president. They were in bible belt south somewhere, and they got attcacker for it.
The people actually refered to themselves as hicks, was funny, but also quite frighting that huge populaions of the supposed free world ars so ignorant and up themselves
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I did see that, man that was funny.
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i am boycotting anything that can be considered reality shows. (exceptions any show that teaches a trade. Ex. trucks!) reality shows annoy the heck out of me. if i wanted to watch people fighting all i have to do is go to boone's saloon.
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JJ wrote:
...but also quite frighting that huge populaions of the supposed free world ars so ignorant and up themselves
what is frightening to me is that people see somthing stupid on tv and assume that huge populations are being accurately represented.
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well whos fault is that, mmmmm Jerry springer I wold thnk lol :)
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jkirk wrote:
i am boycotting anything that can be considered reality shows. (exceptions any show that teaches a trade. Ex. trucks!) reality shows annoy the heck out of me. if i wanted to watch people fighting all i have to do is go to boone's saloon.
FYI, Top Gear is a british motoring show.
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the way y'all are describing it is sounds more like a "reality show." so what was the point of this excercise then? i am guessing they were not showing how to change spark plugs.
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No, it's a magazine show about cars but with a massive injection of humour. One of the running gags is American cars (although one of the presenters owns a Dodge Challenger) so they went to the USA for a road trip in three $1000 bangers and had to endure certain challenges.
IIRC Top Gear won an Emmy a while back? Why don't you check it out on BBC America?
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i can't get bbc america now but if i ever do get it again i will take a gander at it.
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jkirk wrote:
i can't get bbc america now but if i ever do get it again i will take a gander at it.
Top Gear to appear on US TV (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/6539111.stm)
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CannonFodder wrote:
Top Gear to appear on US TV (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/6539111.stm)
I guess they'll have to recruit an American Stig? A country where racing drivers aren't in short supply!
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Actually there's the American cousin of The Stig or Big Stig: Clickety-click (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WkYChLq1U0M) (FFWD to 08:00).