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Coffee House => Coffee House Boards => CH / General => Topic started by: NoFastMem on February 23, 2007, 08:55:16 PM

Title: WEEEEEEEEKEND!
Post by: NoFastMem on February 23, 2007, 08:55:16 PM
I can't relax 'though, 'cause last thing today we set a roomful of machines off to ghost, everyone else left and when I went to check on them the broadcast had just borked completely. I hate leaving things unfinished. On the plus side, I only have to pay £11 in tax this month!

Marmite: Discuss.
Title: Re: WEEEEEEEEKEND!
Post by: Karlos on February 23, 2007, 09:29:56 PM
Quote

NoFastMem wrote:

Marmite: Discuss.


Sold as "yeast extract", Marmite is really processed tholin (a thick, black tarry organic substance), which is secretly shipped from specialist extraction facilities on Titan. Raw tholin is harvested from drainage channels and basin areas, processed by the facilites there and then boosted into orbit by a mass driver.

Once in orbit, ion propulsion is employed to accelerate the tholin containers into the suns gravity well where they travel for years before decelerating the last few months into a steady earth orbit. They are then recovered by specialist probes maintained by the IIS and their contents either shipped back by returning shuttle flights, or carefully allowed to aerobrake against the atmosphere and fall to splashdown for recovery.

The processed tholin is then packaged as marmite and sold to the customer.

Not to be confused with vegemite, which is actually processed turd.
Title: Re: WEEEEEEEEKEND!
Post by: odin on February 23, 2007, 11:21:42 PM
Filþ!
Title: Re: WEEEEEEEEKEND!
Post by: NoFastMem on February 24, 2007, 10:40:09 AM
Quote

Karlos wrote:

...

The processed tholin is then packaged as marmite and sold to the customer.

Not to be confused with vegemite, which is actually processed turd.


:lol:

Am I making an ass of u and me in assuming you're not a fan? ;-)

I like it on pasta, I was kinda bummed out to find they'd manufactured a limited number of jars of Guinness Marmite and I'd missed out.
Title: Re: WEEEEEEEEKEND!
Post by: mel_zoom on February 24, 2007, 11:19:25 AM
I tried marmite recently. It resembled road tar and tasted of not much more than salt.

I dont think Ill be having it again any time soon!
Title: Re: WEEEEEEEEKEND!
Post by: Karlos on February 24, 2007, 06:06:36 PM
@Chris

I just don't find the notion of something that looks like it has been scraped out of the soiled nappy of a somewhat unwell infant and subsequently smeared on toast or whatever very appetising ;-)
Title: Re: WEEEEEEEEKEND!
Post by: Karlos on February 24, 2007, 06:14:10 PM
Incidentally, why is it considered vegeterian / vegan friendly when every pot contains the microscopic innards of countless trillions of previously living animals* that have undergone autolysis as a result of being exposed to high salt concentrations and then boiled to death?

I mean, it's just as barbaric as boiling lobsters alive...

*yeast are eukaryotic.
Title: Re: WEEEEEEEEKEND!
Post by: NoFastMem on February 24, 2007, 08:49:47 PM
Quote

Karlos wrote:
Incidentally, why is it considered vegeterian / vegan friendly when every pot contains the microscopic innards of countless trillions of previously living animals* that have undergone autolysis as a result of being exposed to high salt concentrations and then boiled to death?

I mean, it's just as barbaric as boiling lobsters alive...

*yeast are eukaryotic.


Eukaryotes, as I understand the term, are basically any organism with cell nuclei... and that includes plants, fungi, etc.

:-?

Since yeast is/are basically fungal and consensus is that fungi are non-sentient, it's fair game for foodstuff.

Even with that aside, my bottom line would be that if I had to worry about every minute cellular organism entering my body I'd have trouble breathing with a clear conscience. :-)


Edit:

Regarding the lobster analogy, a lot of vegetarians seem unhappy to attribute comparative capacities for suffering to different types of animals (save for a minority who think it's okay to call themselves vegetarian and still eat chicken.)

I differ in that regard, and just as I'd say boiling a person or a cow causes more suffering than boiling a lobster, boiling a lobster causes more suffering than boiling a microscopic animal. They just don't have the capacity to suffer in the same way.
Title: Re: WEEEEEEEEKEND!
Post by: Karlos on February 24, 2007, 09:03:59 PM
As far as I recall, yeast are classified as animals though due to their full range of compatible metabolic processes. A quick look on Wiki says they are classified as fungi, despite this. I pointed out that they are eukaryotic in case someone tried to suggest they are lesser organisnm - such as those without nuclei ;-)

That and the fact I was mostly taking the p*ss...
Title: Re: WEEEEEEEEKEND!
Post by: NoFastMem on February 24, 2007, 11:20:35 PM
Quote

Karlos wrote:

That and the fact I was mostly taking the p*ss...


And I swore I'd never be The Humourless Veggie. :/ Sorry mate.
Title: Re: WEEEEEEEEKEND!
Post by: Turambar on February 24, 2007, 11:21:05 PM
Quote

Karlos wrote:

Sold as "yeast extract"



It's actually a yeast infection....
Title: Re: WEEEEEEEEKEND!
Post by: odin on February 25, 2007, 01:45:23 AM
Yay. Whiskeyfestivals are fun. Any other Ardbeg and Laphroaig fans around? =)

I was pleasantly suprised that there are 2 Dutch (well, 1 Frisian) single malts which suprisingly aren't half bad, the Frisian was actually quite pleasant.
Title: Re: WEEEEEEEEKEND!
Post by: Karlos on February 25, 2007, 10:42:37 AM
Quote

NoFastMem wrote:
Quote

Karlos wrote:

That and the fact I was mostly taking the p*ss...


And I swore I'd never be The Humourless Veggie. :/ Sorry mate.


That's ok. Still, I would have thought you'd know me better than to come out with something like that and be serious, by now :lol:
Title: Re: WEEEEEEEEKEND!
Post by: leema1290 on March 02, 2007, 02:49:09 PM
Marmite: Discuss.[/quote]

Take one small Baguette, add butter, marmite, and beef or beef n mustard hoola hoops, mmmmmmm
Title: Re: WEEEEEEEEKEND!
Post by: PMC on March 02, 2007, 08:49:29 PM
@Odin

Oh yeah!  Me....!  I love Ardbeg, especially with a mix of mineral water.  It's got a very smoky flavour, which I really, really like...

[historical bollocking-on]

Amazingly, the tradition of the scottish distilleries only dates back a couple of hundred years or so.  Whiskey was in fact illegal in Scotland until the early 19th century.  Before then, the Scots tipple of choice was claret.  

[/historical bollocking-on]

[edit]

Marmite/vegemite tastes awful.  I cannot imagine it tasting worse if it were made with a Grimsby prostitute's knickers.
Title: Re: WEEEEEEEEKEND!
Post by: Karlos on March 02, 2007, 08:52:38 PM
Quote
Marmite/vegemite tastes awful. I cannot imagine it tasting worse if it were made with a Grimsby prostitute's knickers.


Indeed. Such would be ambrosia in comparison!
Title: Re: WEEEEEEEEKEND!
Post by: PMC on March 02, 2007, 09:04:47 PM
You see those threadbare, stained panties on the floor, giving off a distinctly piscene odour and making passers by retch uncontrollably?

That's what you put on your toast, that is...
Title: Re: WEEEEEEEEKEND!
Post by: jkirk on March 02, 2007, 09:17:07 PM
eeeeeewwwwwwww thanks for giving me such bad visions.


()()()()  S   H   U   D   D   E   R   ()()()()
Title: Re: WEEEEEEEEKEND!
Post by: NoFastMem on March 02, 2007, 10:29:53 PM
Nice tries gentlemem, but no amount of vaginal/anal insinuation will deter true lovers of Marmite!
Title: Re: WEEEEEEEEKEND!
Post by: X-ray on March 02, 2007, 11:38:56 PM
Marmite on Brussels sprouts, with parmesan cheese sprinkled on top. That is the real deal!
It definitely beats sardines and condensed milk.
Title: Re: WEEEEEEEEKEND!
Post by: GadgetMaster on March 05, 2007, 12:20:21 AM
You either love it or you ate it!

 ...................................I'll get mi coat.... :lol:
Title: Re: WEEEEEEEEKEND!
Post by: GadgetMaster on March 05, 2007, 12:23:49 AM
Well said comrade! Come the revolution everyone will be strictly rationed only a half loaf of bread and a jar of Marmite. :-D


..Viva la revolucione! ....(or sommat like that )  :lol:
Title: Re: WEEEEEEEEKEND!
Post by: GadgetMaster on March 05, 2007, 12:28:20 AM
Fresh baked toasted bread, buttered and coated with a thin layer Mmmmmmarmite :-P

http://www.geej.com/Marmite/

(http://www.geej.com/Marmite/66slices.jpg)

(http://retrothing.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/marmite.jpg)
Title: Re: WEEEEEEEEKEND!
Post by: Agafaster on March 08, 2007, 04:04:40 PM
Quote

Karlos wrote:
@Chris

I just don't find the notion of something that looks like it has been scraped out of the soiled nappy of a somewhat unwell infant and subsequently smeared on toast or whatever very appetising ;-)


its almost exactly like meconium. except it burns.
Title: Re: WEEEEEEEEKEND!
Post by: Agafaster on March 08, 2007, 04:07:16 PM
Quote

Agafaster wrote:
Quote

Karlos wrote:
@Chris

I just don't find the notion of something that looks like it has been scraped out of the soiled nappy of a somewhat unwell infant and subsequently smeared on toast or whatever very appetising ;-)


its almost exactly like meconium. except it burns.


I prefer Bovril anyway.
Title: Re: WEEEEEEEEKEND!
Post by: cecilia on March 08, 2007, 04:24:31 PM
Quote

odin wrote:
Yay. Whiskeyfestivals are fun. Any other Ardbeg and Laphroaig fans around? =)
Laphroaig and Talesker are some of my favorites. I wish I had the money to have some.
Title: Re: WEEEEEEEEKEND!
Post by: Agafaster on March 08, 2007, 04:28:25 PM
Quote

cecilia wrote:
Quote

odin wrote:
Yay. Whiskeyfestivals are fun. Any other Ardbeg and Laphroaig fans around? =)
Laphroaig and Talesker are some of my favorites. I wish I had the money to have some.


Mmmmmmm! very fond of scotch mesen - Knockando (hard to get) and Glen Moray are nice as is Higland Park
Title: Re: WEEEEEEEEKEND!
Post by: odin on March 08, 2007, 09:55:18 PM
Got a bottle of Knockando here, not too special IMHO though. I'm sure I've had Talisker, but I think I was too drunk to remember what it tastes like :-D.
Title: Re: WEEEEEEEEKEND!
Post by: Speelgoedmannetje on March 09, 2007, 05:28:40 PM
Quote

cecilia wrote:
Quote

odin wrote:
Yay. Whiskeyfestivals are fun. Any other Ardbeg and Laphroaig fans around? =)
Laphroaig and Talesker are some of my favorites. I wish I had the money to have some.
I thought you didn't drink alcohol? :-?
Title: Re: WEEEEEEEEKEND!
Post by: motorollin on March 09, 2007, 07:41:03 PM
Quote
NoFastMem wrote:
I was kinda bummed out to find they'd manufactured a limited number of jars of Guinness Marmite and I'd missed out.

You can get it on eBay.....

--
moto
Title: Re: WEEEEEEEEKEND!
Post by: NoFastMem on March 10, 2007, 01:37:33 PM
Mmm, ebay + anything I'm going to put in my mouth = :/
Title: Re: WEEEEEEEEKEND!
Post by: X-ray on March 10, 2007, 01:59:28 PM
Well if it's sealed, you are okay.
I think I will try one myself.
Title: Re: WEEEEEEEEKEND!
Post by: motorollin on March 10, 2007, 03:44:52 PM
Quote
X-ray wrote:
Well if it's sealed, you are okay.
I think I will try one myself.

I was thinking about bidding on one, but it would be ruined by the thought of someone blowing a load all over it  :nervous: Also, what if I really loved it, but couldn't get it again? Could I live the rest of my life knowing I would never again taste Guinness Marmite?

"Someone left a cake out in the rain / I don't think that I can take it / 'Cause it took so long to bake it / And I'll never have that recipe again / Oh noooooo!"

--
moto
Title: Re: WEEEEEEEEKEND!
Post by: X-ray on April 12, 2007, 09:25:55 PM
Okay, who is the daddy of the brown spreads? I wanted to get hold of the Guinness Marmite, but it hasn't arrived. I ordered it off ebay, but it is a no-show. So the contest is between these three:

(http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g154/Odd_Job/BrownSpreads.jpg)

In terms of nutrition, Marmite wins overall. Check the labels:

Vegemite
(http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g154/Odd_Job/Vegemitecontents.jpg)

Marmite
(http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g154/Odd_Job/Marmitecontents.jpg)

Bovril
(http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g154/Odd_Job/Bovrilcontents.jpg)

Okay, what about taste? Well in my opinion Vegemite is a loser here. It is too sharp, and leaves a rancid taste in the mouth. Sorry Aussies, but that Vegemite is an easy last choice of the three.
Bovril just beats Marmite, taste wise. It has a more rounded taste and is easier to eat, in quantity. It has longer legs, if you know what I mean.

So, for me Bovril is the one to get.
But if you are like Punkie and want the spread that is best for you, then choose Marmite. Here is Punkie as a little 'un:

(http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g154/Odd_Job/marmite2.jpg)
Title: Re: WEEEEEEEEKEND!
Post by: cecilia on April 12, 2007, 11:08:38 PM
Quote

Speelgoedmannetje wrote:
Quote

cecilia wrote:
Quote

odin wrote:
Yay. Whiskeyfestivals are fun. Any other Ardbeg and Laphroaig fans around? =)
Laphroaig and Talesker are some of my favorites. I wish I had the money to have some.
I thought you didn't drink alcohol? :-?
I drink a LITTLE beer or single malt scotch once in a while.

What i said was: I NEVER get drunk.

big difference.