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Coffee House => Coffee House Boards => CH / General => Topic started by: NoFastMem on January 11, 2006, 04:00:50 PM
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Today I gained a level 2 food hygiene certificate that I didn't even know was on the cards 'til ten minutes before the course started. I scored 28/30 on the exam even though I was distracted the whole time by the Kim Novak (as per 'Vertigo') lookalike across the table. I'd seen her around in her bakery overalls and thought she was cute, and today was the first time I saw her dressed normally. Normal for her, I guess. It was a little on the slutty side and we were looking at each other and she has this odd habit of sliding her fingers under the waistline of her pants. Normally that would gross me out so much and totally put me off, but she had the benefit of better first impressions. So I was basically dying to shag her for six hours, but instead I came home and soiled a sock. And now I feel kinda gross.
The End.
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Congrats Punkie :-)
And now I feel kinda gross.
We all do from time to time :angel:
Murphy (or well, the one of Murphy's law) also said something about that.
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NoFastMem wrote:
So I was basically dying to shag her for six hours, but instead I came home and soiled a sock. And now I feel kinda gross.
The End.
:banana:
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Good for you Punkie! :-D
Most of the time we all love the girl next door, who's demure and immaculately presented. However, every so often the every so slightly slutty, fingers under waistline of pants (by the way, are you referring to "pants" as an Americanism meaning "trousers", or "pants" as my now fevered imagination is picturing as a black, lacy thong playing a cheeky "peek-a-boo" over the hemline of a pair of low slung jeans.....)
Where the hell was I?
Oh, there's no need to feel gross just because your slightly more base instincts come to the fore. You're a human being so ruin that sock with pride.
:pint:
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PMC wrote:
...by the way, are you referring to "pants" as an Americanism meaning "trousers", or "pants" as my now fevered imagination is picturing as a black, lacy thong playing a cheeky "peek-a-boo" over the hemline of a pair of low slung jeans.....
She had some sort of cotton briefs, riding so far up above the waistline of her jogging pants (those kinda thin ones) that I thought maybe she had something else under there for modesty's sake. But she was definitely slipping her fingers below two layers, and as we all know, the suggestion is usually enough... :-)
I think after the excitement of being able to imagine her as someone a little more accessible there's just some disappointment in realising she's probably not someone I could have a relationship with. Even though I'm still in love with Miss Kansas.
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:roflmao:
Don't let the gross feeling linger too long; hand shandies are
entirely natural.
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PMC wrote:
...so ruin that sock with pride.
:pint:
In my mind, I can hear a single Scot, shouting that out loud...
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Every sperm is sacred...
A bizarre thing one of my teachers told the class years ago, was - for heaven's sake, if you're gonna fantasize about someone, fantasize about someone you know in real life and not some screen tart...
I can't explain it necessarily, but I know what he means..
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.... and we were looking at each other and she has this odd habit of sliding her fingers under the waistline of her pants. Normally that would gross me out so much and totally put me off, but she had the benefit of better first impressions. So I was basically dying to shag her for six hours, but instead I came home and soiled a sock. And now I feel kinda gross.
The End.
a day in the life of a normal guy :lol:
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Cyberus wrote:
Every sperm is sacred...
A bizarre thing one of my teachers told the class years ago, was - for heaven's sake, if you're gonna fantasize about someone, fantasize about someone you know in real life and not some screen tart...
I can't explain it necessarily, but I know what he means..
I don't. :-?
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well I fantasized about a girl for years, and it was HER I fell in love with, and not just her body (although of course that was very important!) - and the story had a happy ending too! :-D
anyway, I don't get these people who say they fancy someone like J-Lo or Dimlow or whatever she's called
a) They're never gonna sleep with her
b) If they actually met her, they probably wouldn't want to...
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NoFastMem wrote:
She had some sort of cotton briefs, riding so far up above the waistline of her jogging pants (those kinda thin ones) that I thought maybe she had something else under there for modesty's sake.
Mmmm, cotton briefs... White cotton briefs... Mmmm... Me love da white cotton briefs!
But she was definitely slipping her fingers below two layers, and as we all know, the suggestion is usually enough... :-)
Zoiks!
Punkie, ever thought about writing erotic fiction?
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Ah yes, Murphy's law: Sex is dirty only if it's done right.
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I'm sorry, I still can't get the tought of plain white cotton briefs out of my mind...
I'd rather a girlie in those than a black lacy confection anyday.
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@PMC:
Likewise. :-)
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Cyberus wrote:
well I fantasized about a girl for years, and it was HER I fell in love with, and not just her body (although of course that was very important!) - and the story had a happy ending too! :-D
anyway, I don't get these people who say they fancy someone like J-Lo or Dimlow or whatever she's called
a) They're never gonna sleep with her
b) If they actually met her, they probably wouldn't want to...
Think our interpretations of the word fantasise were slightly different there.
I read it as "Don't have a wank about someone screen tart you'll never meet".
Why the hell not i say! :-D
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PMC wrote:
Zoiks!
Punkie, ever thought about writing erotic fiction?
Yeah, but unfortunately I have some self-respect. ;-)
I always assumed I was in the minority on the underwear thing too. Normal cotton knickers are way sexier than that lacy crap. But then I'm the guy who wonders who porn is supposed to cater to. It's so crass.
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NoFastMem wrote:
Normal cotton knickers are way sexier than that lacy crap.
Mmmmmm... cotton knickers...
But then I'm the guy who wonders who porn is supposed to cater to. It's so crass.
Mmmmmm... porn...
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It's one of the enduring myths about male tastes in ladies' underwear. Women seem to think that we like something elaborate in red lace (yuk), having been with ex's who've stuffed themselves into a corset a size too small I can testify that no girl I've dated looks sexy when she's tightly laced up in something that restricts her breathing and leaves bits of underwire/scaffold poking you in the ribs.
Although lacy stuff & suspenders are very nice, you can't beat the fresh, clean and wholesome appeal of a pretty lady in white cotton briefs. Sports brasieres can be surprisingly sexy too...
Strangely enough I'm off to the gym tonight, hehe!
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bloodline wrote:
NoFastMem wrote:
Normal cotton knickers are way sexier than that lacy crap.
Mmmmmm... cotton knickers...
But then I'm the guy who wonders who porn is supposed to cater to. It's so crass.
Mmmmmm... porn...
Mmmmmm... seed begging eyes...
Did I wrote that? :nervous:
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dying to shag her for six hours,
Are you a SuperStud ?
SIX HOURS... ?
Damn, I'll have some of what he's drinking !!
:lol:
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The_Editor wrote:
Damn, I'll have some of what he's drinking !!
:lol:
Irn-Bru? :-)
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:lol:
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Speelgoedmannetje wrote:
The_Editor wrote:
Damn, I'll have some of what he's drinking !!
:lol:
Irn-Bru? :-)
But, of course!
Why do you think the recipe is a secret? ;-)
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I envy you, dude.
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iamaboringperson wrote:
I envy you, dude.
For
a) being able to shag for six hours? (AND without getting sore)
b) for having a pseudo-sexual encounter?
c) for being able to buy Irn Bru?
(I'm guessing you can't get it in Aus)
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Not get Irn Bru in aussie... probably true but then...
They got
ROOT Beer
:-D
( in case some people are still unaware, a Root is Aussie lingo for a Shag)