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Coffee House => Coffee House Boards => CH / Entertainment => Topic started by: Cyberus on September 29, 2005, 05:05:35 PM
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Yes, I know, I know
Posting crappy jokes that have been round cyberspace a hundred times...
I liked this one though, perhaps as I am a dog-lover, perhaps because I have a boring office job and have substituted a nicotine addiction for a caffeine addiction....
Thirty Reasons Why Dogs are better Than Wives...
>> 1. The later you are, the more excited they are to see you.
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>> 2. Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.
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>> 3. If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.
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>> 4. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.
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>> 5. A dog's disposition stays the same all month long.
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>> 6. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.
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>> 7. A dog's parents never visit.
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>> 8. Dogs do not hate their bodies.
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>> 9. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point
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>> 10. Dogs like to do their snooping outside rather than in your
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>> 11. Dogs seldom outlive you.
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>> 12. Dogs can't talk.
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>> 13. Dogs enjoy petting in public.
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>> 14. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24-hours a
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>> 15. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.
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>> 16. Dogs like to go shooting and fishing.
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>> 17. Another man will seldom steal your dog
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>> 18. If you bring another dog home, your dog will happily play with
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>> both of you.
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>> 19. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died would you
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>> 20. If you pretend to be blind, your dog can stay in your hotel room
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>> 21. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give
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>> them away.
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>> 22. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling
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>> you a pervert.
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>> 23. A dog won't hold out on you to get a new car.
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>> 24. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad, they
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>> just think it's interesting.
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>> 25. On a car trip, your dog never insists on running the heater.
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>> 26. Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives.
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>> 27. When your dog gets old, you can have it put down.
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>> 28. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.
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>> 29. Dogs are not allowed in Harvey-Nicks or Harrods .
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>> 30. If a dog leaves you, it won't take half your stuff with it.
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Wives? :huh: :-?
:-P
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Three dogs, a {bleep}er Spaniel, a Rottweiler and a Great Dane are all sat with their owners at the vets.
"What are you in for?" asked the Great Dane to the greying Spaniel.
"Well, I kind of crapped on the floor last night and my owners decided that I'm getting old and that it's time I was put to sleep".
"Man, that's harsh!" said the other two dogs in unison
"What are you in for?" They asked the Rottweiler
"Well, I get a bit aggressive, you know growling and barking kind of thing. However this morning I savaged the postman so my owners decided to put me down too".
The Spaniel and the Rottweiler turned to the Great Dane, who sat in front of his very attractive blonde female owner.
"What are you here for?"
"Well, you see my owner behind me, well she has a habit of walking around the house naked. Normally it's not too bad, but last night she was bent over getting food from the oven. I simply couldn't help myself and just mounted her".
"I guess if you're being put down then it must have been worth it?" asked the Rottweiler
"Oh no, I'm not being put down. I'm here to have my claws clipped".
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Cyberus wrote:
Thirty Reasons Why Dogs are better Than Wives...
:lol: :lol: :lol:
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31. If your Dog's a dog, well, yea
ok nevermind.
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@ Odin
I agree. A dog will never be better than a woman. Besides, girls and boys can play 'doggies' just fine without having the slobbering and bad breath thrown in.
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:lol:
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X-ray wrote:
@ Odin
I agree. A dog will never be better than a woman. Besides, girls and boys can play 'doggies' just fine without having the slobbering and bad breath thrown in.
I see you've never woke up next to a Chavette after a night on the lash then! :lol:
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Hehe, I misread that at first...'after a night on the leash'
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:lol:
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31. You have the dog on a leash (lead). A woman has you on one.