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Coffee House => Coffee House Boards => CH / Entertainment => Topic started by: PGit on August 06, 2005, 02:54:19 PM

Title: Bailif Bert
Post by: PGit on August 06, 2005, 02:54:19 PM
Bailifs seems to be under represented in childrens TV.

Bailef Bert (to the tune of Postman Pat)

Baillef Bert, Bailif Bert
Bailif Bert and his big, heavy stick
Early in the morning, Just as day is dawning,
He beats you up and makes you pay the bill

Bailif Bert, Bailif Bert
Bailif Bert and his big, heavy stick
All the birds are singing, and the day is just beginning.
He breaks your legs with his big and heavy stick

Everybody knows his big, black mercedes
They all run away as he goes to greet them
Maybe, if you havn't paid your bills
There'll be knock, bang baillef at your door

Baillef Bert, Bailif Bert
Bailif Bert and his big, heavy stick
All the birds are singing, and the day is just beginning.
He breaks your legs with his big and heavy stick

Title: Re: Bailif Bert
Post by: NoFastMem on August 08, 2005, 12:28:48 AM
Erm...
Title: Re: Bailif Bert
Post by: Speelgoedmannetje on August 08, 2005, 08:48:55 AM
Quote

NoFastMem wrote:
Erm...
:lol:
Title: Re: Bailif Bert
Post by: Wain on August 09, 2005, 08:21:34 PM
only glanced, didn't have time to actually read OP, but is this porn or something?
Title: Re: Bailif Bert
Post by: PGit on August 11, 2005, 04:50:43 PM
No it isn't porn, I think. We should have more baillifs and other underepresented professions on kid's TV. For example when was the last time you saw them show a dodgy Ebay trader?
Title: Re: Bailif Bert
Post by: Cyberus on August 12, 2005, 09:40:59 AM
I can just imagine it now...

What do you want to be when you grow up....?

A fireman?
A train-driver?
An astronaut...?

Nah! I wanna defraud people on eBay, just like Doomy, he's my  hero!
Title: Re: Bailif Bert
Post by: Doobrey on August 14, 2005, 03:39:46 AM
What about a kiddies show about a satanic construction worker ?

Beelzebob the Builder    :evilgrin:

Just promise me you won't get Neil Morrissey to sing the theme tune.
Title: Re: Bailif Bert
Post by: Methuselas on August 14, 2005, 10:46:34 PM
Quote

Cyberus wrote:


Nah! I wanna defraud people on eBay, just like Doomy, he's my  hero!




Cyberus, you're obsessed with Doomy. I think you love him. You want to have Doom Master Babies.

If you do, I hope they're mil-spec.  :lol:  :lol:
Title: Re: Bailif Bert
Post by: Cyberus on August 15, 2005, 02:39:13 AM
Quote

Methuselas wrote:
Quote

Cyberus wrote:


Nah! I wanna defraud people on eBay, just like Doomy, he's my  hero!




Cyberus, you're obsessed with Doomy. I think you love him.


Shhhhhh! ;-)

Quote

You want to have Doom Master Babies.

Can you imagine that? All running around defrauding the other kids out of their lunch money...

Quote

If you do, I hope they're mil-spec.  :lol:  :lol:

They will be of high quality, as they'll be part English ;-) And everyone knows that the English make the best 'hardware' ;-);-) :lol:
Title: Re: Bailif Bert
Post by: Cyberus on August 15, 2005, 02:43:48 AM
Woah, its quiet in here, a fat golden vagina roll up for me and then bed methinks....
Title: Re: Bailif Bert
Post by: Methuselas on August 15, 2005, 03:05:04 AM
Quote

Cyberus wrote:
Quote




Shhhhhh! ;-)



*laughing hysterically*
 

Quote


Can you imagine that? All running around defrauding the other kids out of their lunch money...


"Hey, how would you like to get your hands on this one-of-a-kind, mil-spec lunchbox? It even comes with a brown and green bananna! Don't worry about all that white stuff on the bananna. It's just so you don't have to get shots!"

Quote


They will be of high quality, as they'll be part English ;-) And everyone knows that the English make the best 'hardware' ;-);-) :lol:
:lol:

Funny, I always thought that was just GREAT beer you Brits made.

:roflmao:

That, and wonderful Situation Comedies, such as Red Dwarf.  :-D
Title: Re: Bailif Bert
Post by: PGit on August 26, 2005, 05:20:17 PM
It's not just kid's shows. Superhero stories are just as bad, we have Superman, Batman, Catwoman etc but what about hermaphrodites?
Title: Re: Bailif Bert
Post by: Cyberus on August 26, 2005, 05:25:59 PM
Quote
Baillef Bert, Bailif Bert
Bailif Bert and his big, heavy stick
Early in the morning, Just as day is dawning,
He beats you up and makes you pay the bill


And his big heavy stick?
Hmm, not sure you're onto a winner with that little ditty my friend....
Title: Re: Bailif Bert
Post by: Cyberus on August 27, 2005, 02:58:45 AM
What about....

Pornstar Pete

or

Terry the Terrorist?