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Coffee House => Coffee House Boards => CH / Entertainment => Topic started by: Cyberus on September 08, 2004, 11:52:07 AM
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Just sitting here listening to NWA, and there's a few lines that *always* make me smile...
"We didn't get no play, from the ladies
Six niggaz in a car are you crazy?"
This always has me in stitches. I think its cos I can imagine them driving around trying to pick up girls and them looking into the car and thinking, "How the {bleep} did you manage to fit six people in that car?"
["And in any case, if we did want to go with you, how would we fit in?"]
Or are American cars huge? In UK you can't really fit more than 5, and even then it'll be bloody uncomfortable [and illegal :lol:]. I guess I'm thinking far too much about this...
Oh and here's the other NWA one that makes me smile (from the same track)
"I'm the kinda nigga that's built to last, if you {bleep} with me, I'll put my foot in your ass!" :lol:
Anyway, any lyrics that make you laugh, preferably ones that weren't intended to be funny by the writer?
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Can't beat Half Man Half Biscuit for amusing lyrics.
With song titles like "Ninety nine percent of gargoyles look like Bob Todd", "Dickie Davis eyes" and "Trumpton Riots" you can't really go wrong.
Note to non-UK resident readers:
Bob Todd - the ugly big bald guy from the Benny Hill Show
Dickie Davis - dapper sports journalist from the late 70s/80s
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If we're including ones that aren't meant to be serious, Frank Zappa is a prime contender....:-D
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Cyberus wrote:
If we're including ones that aren't meant to be serious, Frank Zappa is a prime contender....:-D
Didn't he do an album called "Have I offended someone?" where he managed to poke fun at every single minority or religious group going in a statement against rampant political correctness?
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This kid posts his lyrics on the Get Up Kids messageboard constantly (well, he stopped because I kept taking the piss). He wouldn't talk to us in a normal fashion, but just post lyrics and occasional Christian / anti-sex propagada.
http://www.bluecollardistro.com/thegetupkids/viewtopic.php?t=2862&start=0&postdays=0&postorder=asc&highlight=wootorama
My personal favourite:
This is the song about nothing
the song about nothing
the soong about nothing
(slower)the sooong about nothing
(slower)the soooong about noothing
(slower)the soooong about nooothing
(slower)the sooooong about nooothing
(slower)the soooooong about noooothing
(slower)the soooooong about nooooothing.
Read... and weep. :-)
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Or are American cars huge? In UK you can't really fit more than 5, and even then it'll be bloody uncomfortable [and illegal ]. I guess I'm thinking far too much about this...
1974-Quebec Had 14 people in my Honda Accord hatchback.
I must be a bit perverse, I still laugh when I remember someone screaming "My leg, my leg!" :lol:
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Hoya!
ZAPPA RULES!!!!
Boy, I am glad I can speak a proper English so as to be able to understand!
Actually, FZ's lyrics can be divided into three parts:
-The Surrealistic ones ("Montana").
-The Funny ones ("Bobby Brown Goes Down").
-The Serious ones (listen to "You Are What You Is").
Also, note that he could mix several subjects in the same song.
America has Bush, indeed, but it had FZ, too! ;-)
Be funky
M A D
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This kid posts his lyrics on the Get Up Kids messageboard constantly (well, he stopped because I kept taking the piss). He wouldn't talk to us in a normal fashion, but just post lyrics and occasional Christian / anti-sex propagada.
that kid ain't funny, just sad.
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Note to non-UK resident readers:
Bob Todd - the ugly big bald guy from the Benny Hill Show
You mean the really old bald guy who's always getting beaten on the head with something? Didn't he die eons ago? I remember wondering if head trauma had anything to do with it.
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"We didn't get no play, from the ladies
Six niggaz in a car are you crazy?"
In australia we have a car called the [Holden]'kingswood', four adults can fit comfortably in the back seat of one of these as long as none of them are fat. Once me and seven of my friends travelled from launceston to bruny island in a holden 'premier' [we squeezed seven in the back and one in the boot][edit:I forgot to mention the driver and his lady friend-that makes ten:edit].
I can't imagine that Dr Dre's big fat [bleep] allows room for any more than one passenger, even in a stratch limo. But he was not so chubby back in the days of NWA.I do a little rap about that with my crew.
NWA was d' best in their day
no other [bleep] had the balls to say wot they say'd
but today dr dre is just MNM's stooge
in the last ten years 'e ain't done nufin new...
...that fat [bleep] needs a customised bus
just to move his fat [bleep].
if you want to hear the rest then you would have to book us for a live performance.
p.s.
any australian would be familiar with the kingswood smell, if someone could work out how to bottle this into a cologne then they would make a small fortune. :lol:
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T_Bone wrote:
Note to non-UK resident readers:
Bob Todd - the ugly big bald guy from the Benny Hill Show
You mean the really old bald guy who's always getting beaten on the head with something? Didn't he die eons ago? I remember wondering if head trauma had anything to do with it.
Nah, that was the little fellah. Bob Todd was the really big guy who also happened to be bald.
[adolescent mode]
One thing I could never figure out about Benny Hill; if you were being chased by dozens of scantily clad women (as he often was during the end credits) then surely you'd stop running and let them catch you?
[/adolescent mode]
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One that always makes me laugh (and I doubt Deep Purple were trying for humour):
"Sweet Lucy was a dancer,
but none of us would chance her,
because she was a Samurai"
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anakirob wrote:
In australia we have a car called the [Holden]'kingswood', four adults can fit comfortably in the back seat of one of these as long as none of them are fat. Once me and seven of my friends travelled from launceston to bruny island in a holden 'premier' [we squeezed seven in the back and one in the boot].
p.s.
any australian would be familiar with the kingswood smell, if someone could work out how to bottle this into a cologne then they would make a small fortune. :lol:
Ah yes....I travelled round Oz for a bit in a 74 Kingswood. Mighty cool car it was, shame about the very crappy seats it had :-).
(http://www.odin1.dds.nl/australia/thumbnails/thumbpds069.jpg) (http://www.odin1.dds.nl/australia/pds069.jpg)
They're not fit to drive in sand though ;-).
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Is that someone sitting in the back seat I see!
Pff! We've all got a friend like that I'm sure - someone who sits on their arse while everyone else does the hard work.
[or is it just a head-shaped piece of luggage :-P]
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GG Allin always makes me smile (even though he's dead).
Unfortunatley there is no way I could quote his lyrics on amiga.org.
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@cyberus:
I think that's what I'm holding in my hand here :-):
(http://www.odin1.dds.nl/australia/thumbnails/thumbpds067.jpg) (http://www.odin1.dds.nl/australia/pds067.jpg)
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How could I have forgotten this classic "MILKMAN" by APHEX TWIN.
Oh mister milkman
won't you deliver my milk
in the morning
Oh mister milkman
won't you deliver my milk
in the morning
I would like some milk from the milkman's wife's....
:lol:
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Off the top of my head, Yello's "Pinball Cha-Cha":
Come, come close to me, I tell you man you will see
I am like happy tree, come close and you will see
Every ball for me's another game.
For you this always looks the same
Hey you, man watch me, you might be right I am a fool
But man why don't you tell me, if you know a better tool
All the gates are lit, this is very good for me
Its like a kiss, watch out man and you will see,
Now all lights are on
Believe me man that I have won
I know for you this doesn't look a lot
For me this is the only thing I got.
I couldn't care less, if you take me for a fool
I know you couldn't show me any better tool
Oy oy oy I like my toy
Claro que si, is yes for sure
Oy oy oy I like my toy
A knack inside, I got another game
I press the button and it's not the same
The music and the voice it's sung with plays a certain role in the humour...
Rap "lyrics"? They usually just make me shake my head in disbelief for human kind.
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A few hillarious rap lines snatched from my brain...
"Even when I'm smoked out
I still can't be scoped out"
and these (which may be a little off):
"Biggie is the illist
my stylez are played out like armor - BAM
what the {bleep} you talkin bout, Willis?"
(that was "Cappodonna" and "Notorious BIG" respectively, for those interested...:-P)
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And one more..
"Let me give it to ya
like pop trivia
rollin' like cocain
straight from Bolivia"
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I prefer Dire Straits' 'Ticket to Heaven' when it comes to putting a smile on my face. It also has a wonderful rolling rhumba in the background which creates the perfect atmosphere to show what all those TV evangelists truly are: conmen and fraudsters. (With Knopfler acting the innocent sucker falling for their tricks.)
But my taste in music usually runs to the bittersweet than the humorous.
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Cymric wrote:
I prefer Dire Straits' 'Ticket to Heaven' when it comes to putting a smile on my face. It also has a wonderful rolling rhumba in the background which creates the perfect atmosphere to show what all those TV evangelists truly are: conmen and fraudsters.
Genesis did a similar one "Jesus, he knows me, and he knows I'm right" :-)
I must be really sadistic because I always laugh at "Mr Kirk's Nightmare" by 4Hero.
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I forgot I had a few others which make me laugh:
DJ Madman --- Meisje (which is unfortunately only hilarious for Dutch-speaking people)
David Byrne --- Miss America
Reinhard Mey --- Diplomatenjagd ('Diplomat Hunt', in German)
Reinhard Mey --- Der Mörder ist immer der Gärtner ('The Murderer is always the Gardener', in German)
and how could I forget:
The Yeastie Girls/Consolidated --- You Suck
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Best/silliest lyric of all time has to go to Terrorvision - I can't remember the song title, but it's on Shaving Peaches
"The doggio and the catio are fighting on the patio"!!
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Pussbunny's "Zombie Sheep" has the lyric:
"When I'm trying to get to heaven
I'm surrounded by Zonbie S-club seven
It's enough to make you want to change your name to Kevin
Zombie S-club seven
What have I done
Zombie S-club seven"
Genius. :pint: