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Coffee House => Coffee House Boards => CH / General => Topic started by: Cyberus on August 25, 2004, 11:46:28 PM
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Sorry, to pinch the title of the other thread.
Now I know not many people here are likely to be interested in cricket [in fact, aside from the Kiwis, Aussies and Brits, will anyone else even know what it is?], but the title of the other thread reminded me of something.
Cricket is a real gentlemanly sport - people clap the opposition, heh, there's even a tea break. Well, its gentlemanly unless the Aussies are involved...:-P
Anyway, there's a practice called 'sledging' - putting off the batsman by insulting him, intimidating him etc. As you can imagine, the Aussies are dab-hands at this, and in the same way an England - Scotland football match is a rather acrimonious affair, so is Aus vs NZ at cricket.
Anyway, the Aussies were fielding, a Kiwi was facing, and so the Aussie fielders were trying to put off the batsman. One of them cried, "Why are you so fat?"
The batsman calmly turned round and said "Cos everytime I fu*k your missus, she gives me a biscuit"
Now is that a comeback, or is that a comeback?
[regardless of context if need be]
Quick, quick, scour the urban myths. Say, 'that's well old'. :-P
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The bestest come back
Not to mention the gooderest grammer :-P
Back to the topic, in order for a comeback to be good, it must be witty...and this rarlly usn't :-P
This post was not intunded to uffend uny New Zarlanders
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Although not really a "comeback", this is rather witty:
Girl: Are you married?
Man: I'm not married, my wife is!
heh, I always get a kick out of that one... :-D
- Mike
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@ Cyberus
That one had me rolling, man. I really like it!!
A biscuit he he he
As for who knows something about cricket, you forgot South Africa.
There's always a lot of gob and staring when SA plays Australia. Unfortunately for us and for all the other teams in the world, Australia has a formidable team and I don't think my boys can beat them.
At least we stopped them getting the Tri-nations :-D
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I didn't know there were any South Africans in the the forums. I know you'd mentioned living there, but it didn't click, sorry :-)
@ adz
That was deliberate - heh, I'm an English teacher!
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@Cyberus,
Your avatar reminded me of an apocraphal story about Winston Churchill. He was addressing a lady who responed "Sir, you're drunk!".
His response was:
"Madam, and indeed you're ugly. But I shall be sober in the morning."
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Yeah, I've heard that - good innit? :-D
Off the top of my head, another quote (very un-PC, and not Churchill):
"Some women are like gongs; They should be struck regularly"
- Oscar Wilde
:-P
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@ adz
That was deliberate - heh, I'm an English teacher!
Just a bad attempt at humour :-D
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The one that stick out in my mind was a few years back when a friend was bringing this girl out with us who quickly made herself very unpopular indeed.
I was elected to break him the news that she wasn't welcome..
Rob: "So what's the problem with Mandy now, who doesn't like her now?"
Me: "It's not a case of who DOESN'T like her, the problem is more who DOES".
Rob: "So who actually likes her then?"
Me: "Well there's you Rob...."
Don't know how I got away with it, but it had the desired effect. Her manners dramatically improved.
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PMC wrote:
The one that stick out in my mind was a few years back when a friend was bringing this girl out with us who quickly made herself very unpopular indeed.
I was elected to break him the news that she wasn't welcome..
Rob: "So what's the problem with Mandy now, who doesn't like her now?"
Me: "It's not a case of who DOESN'T like her, the problem is more who DOES".
Rob: "So who actually likes her then?"
Me: "Well there's you Rob...."
Don't know how I got away with it, but it had the desired effect. Her manners dramatically improved.
:lol:
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(I can't remember who was involved with this one, I think it was Churchill again.)
An irate woman stood up at a social function and blurted out to Churchill:
"If I was your wife, I would put poison in your wine."
To which he replied:
"And if I was your husband, I would drink it."
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:roflmao:
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X-ray wrote:
(I can't remember who was involved with this one, I think it was Churchill again.)
An irate woman stood up at a social function and blurted out to Churchill:
"If I was your wife, I would put poison in your wine."
To which he replied:
"And if I was your husband, I would drink it."
Now thats a good comeback :lol: :lol: :lol: