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Coffee House => Coffee House Boards => CH / General => Topic started by: PMC on July 28, 2004, 10:12:43 AM
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Damn...
Finally got the courage to ask a young lady out (after months of conversation and procrastination on my part) for a drink and worryingly enough she's accepted!
Now I'm faced with the sudden desertion of self confidence and the prospect of turning into a gibbering idiot... I thought I outgrew this kind of crap when I left school.
Help!
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Most obvious first rule: be yourself. She's already agreed to go out with you so that's an indication she's happy enough to spend some time with you.
Remember that you don't need to impress with every word and just relax.
Easier said than done, I guess ;-)
Good luck.
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You've already done the hard bit, and she must fancy you cos she said yes!
Have a careful think about where and when you're taking her. The aim of a first date is to have a good chat. So a bar on a Thursday-Sunday evening is a bad idea, you'll not get moved and you'll have to shout in each others' ears! A nice moody bar with soft lighting on Monday-Wednesday evenings is a good plan because it'll be quiet and relaxing.
Apart from that just ask lots of questions, and try to ask fruther questions based on her answers because it sounds like you've been listening.
Good luck!
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Well I'm no stranger to dating... So most of the common sense advice above is pretty much as I'd expected.
However, it's nerves that get me. If it's someone I like then sitting there playing it cool isn't an option then my nerves get shot to peices and I sit and babble.
Last time I went on a date with someone I really liked I scared the crap out of myself on a mountain bike for a couple of hours beforehand, just to work on the fear factor. However, if it's someone I don't know or they're obviously interested in me I can sit there, cool as a cucumber and seem to find the right things to say.
Does anyone else experience this phenomena?
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Hum,
i suspect that you are the only one in the history of mankind that has experienced that phenomena...
i also suspect that she's agreed to go out with you so she can have a laugh - er, well you know what i mean...
Nothing worse than stony silence...(except a paper cut)
Have a nice time...
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@Blob
Way to encouage :lol:
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@Blob
You are truly evil! :lol:
(I like that, what are you doing on friday evening? ;-))
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blobrana wrote:
Hum,
i suspect that you are the only one in the history of mankind that has experienced that phenomena...
Have a nice time...
Well, at least I'll have something unique to talk about.... ;-)
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Don't worry about being a gibbering idiot. Women like those.
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:lol: guys (and girl)
@ Kenny
So there's yet hope for Iamaboringperson then?
The only bit of advice I would give, is to try not talk about yourself too much :-)
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PMC wrote:
Last time I went on a date with someone I really liked I scared the crap out of myself on a mountain bike for a couple of hours beforehand, just to work on the fear factor.
oh, way to get yourself a heart attack! :crazy:
well, here's a stupid thought: do the poor girl a big favor and tell her you are in the middle of a panic attack. this way she won't think it's her. at least SHE can relax!
and, some advice for you: stop beating yourself up! it's ok to be nervous. use it! some people get funny and put on a great performance! girls love to be entertained. trust me! :lol:
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It's not so much advice I need....
I suppose I'm struck by the irony that confidence is something that deserts us when we rely on it most and this post is more about this annoying observation.
Secondly, I'm interested to know how everyone else deals with nerves in general. I had to deliver a best man's speech on Saturday that went down a storm, but I'd had a few glasses of wine beforehand to settle my nerves down.
Obviously alcohol is taboo because a) I'm driving, b) said lady is teetotal.
And I suppose I was hoping to settle my nerves by hearing everybody else's bad date stories.....
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blobrana wrote:
Hum,
i suspect that you are the only one in the history of mankind that has experienced that phenomena...
i also suspect that she's agreed to go out with you so she can have a laugh - er, well you know what i mean...
Nothing worse than stony silence...(except a paper cut)
:roflmao:
remember, Confidence is a preference for the habitual voyeur of what is known as (parklife).. ;-)
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PMC wrote:
It's not so much advice I need....
I suppose I'm struck by the irony that confidence is something that deserts us when we rely on it most and this post is more about this annoying observation.
Secondly, I'm interested to know how everyone else deals with nerves in general. I had to deliver a best man's speech on Saturday that went down a storm, but I'd had a few glasses of wine beforehand to settle my nerves down.
Obviously alcohol is taboo because a) I'm driving, b) said lady is teetotal.
And I suppose I was hoping to settle my nerves by hearing everybody else's bad date stories.....
Everyone feels the same... she'll be feeling it too... spike her drink with some vodka* as she's a teetotal, she'll be dunk after a single drink. Then you can relax in the knowledge that she will be far less inhibited than you and probably won't remember much of your stupid mistakes and comments.
*I do not condone spiking anyone's drink with vodka in an effort make them more suggestable or for any other reason.
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bloodline wrote:
Everyone feels the same... she'll be feeling it too... spike her drink with some vodka* as she's a teetotal, she'll be dunk after a single drink. Then you can relax in the knowledge that she will be far less inhibited than you and probably won't remember much of your stupid mistakes and comments
*I do not condone spiking anyone's drink with vodka in an effort make them more suggestable or for any other reason.
At this rate I'll be spiking my own drink!
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Relax dude, just go with the flow, if the two of you can't managed to hold a solid conversation then it not likely your going to have much of a future together anyway. If its nerves your trying to beat, forget about a quick fix, everybody is nervous at first, but once the conversation gets going you'll be fine. If getting the conversation going presents itself as a problem on account of her being nervous as well, then I suggest you take the initiative and start asking questions about her, she'll feel more relaxed talking about herself. And if the converstation doesn't progress much further that one or two word answers, run like hell :-D
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Hum,
Good advice, indeed.
(though you forgot to mention the XXXX)
Though i would suggest a load of chewy chocolate to stop her/you nervously babbling too much
-------------------------------
Only dead fish go with the flow
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There's always a reason for a chocolate chew.
Riesen! Therrr chocolarrrrt choooooooooo.
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make it belgian chocolates and she'll know you have class!
:love:
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hummmmmm.
@the punk guy
>>Riesen! Therrr chocolarrrrt choooooooooo.
[in a long john silver pirate voice?]
Down you dogggs
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Make it laxative chocolates. Mmmh, tasty.
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KennyR wrote:
Make it laxative chocolates. Mmmh, tasty.
Possibly the worst scatalogical disaster since aubrey the a*se hamster in the making there...
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Please!
Not in front of the Klingons.
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Cyberus wrote:
:lol: guys (and girl)
@ Kenny
So there's yet hope for Iamaboringperson then?
LEARN from ME! iamaboringperson: the most beautiful man in the cosmos! (HAHAHAHAHAHA ....... !)
The only bit of advice I would give, is to try not talk about yourself too much :-)
Actually, this is easy.
Let HER do most of the talking. She will want to crap on about her stuff, anyway. Focus most of the conversation on her - and her interests!
And so...
Until next time ... when love scrapes it's finger nails down the black board that is your heart ... this is iamaboringperson ... the most beautiful person in the world, saying these things to you!
Adios! :-D
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Let me just take this opportunity to introduce my NEW BOOK!
(http://www.picgoo.com/uploads7/lovetips02s.jpg)
You can pick it up at all good book stores!
It contains all of the most essential dating and romance advice from the master - the most beautiful man in the world!
:-D
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Cheers chaps and chapesses,
You've all put a smile on my face!
@IAMA
No offence dude, but your tender romantic side doesn't shine through in these hallowed forums. Is there a side to you we haven't yet seen?
:lol:
@Blob
Chewy chocolate is always a winner in MY book too. Problem is I won't want to share it!
No I can go forth with a smile on my face (and chocolate in my pocket, but we'll keep quiet about that one).
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No offence dude, but your tender romantic side doesn't shine through in these hallowed forums. Is there a side to you we haven't yet seen?
I can teach you alot!
Remember to let her talk about what she wants to. Don't tell her too much about yourself! Just give bits and pieces of info to keep her curious! For chicks, it's all about mystery.
Impress her with your knowledge of .... fine wine, and ... exotic food! :-o
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iamaboringperson wrote:
Impress her with your knowledge of .... fine wine, and ... exotic food! :-o
I know a great Balti house... They even serve Kingfisher lager! (just kidding).
It's all common sense advice which I've handed out to mates in the past. Like I've said, it's more about the way confidence deserts you when you need it most - like the fickle friend that it is.
Maybe we should start a new post called "First date disasters"?
How about this one....:
A couple of months back I swapped numbers with a lass who seemed sweet and harmless enough.
The next day my phone rang about three times, it was said lass calling me for "a chat". No problem, but I was working at the time and tried to tactfully suggest she waits until after 5:30pm.
Minutes later a text arrives. "What have I done wrong?"
Oh hell... I text back to apologise for being abrupt but I was working and had a deadline to meet.
Later that evening I'm making arrangements to meet, when a text arrives "are you going to stay over tonight?".
Whoa!!! Let's just concentrate on the first date shall we? I gave her the benefit of the doubt and met up later that day. There was no "spark" there, so after a couple of hours I thanked her for a most charming evening and left, despite her asking me once again if I was going to stay the night.
Next thing I get a text from her berating me for not giving enough "attention"....
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Do they sell Mars bars in Belgium?
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PMC wrote:
iamaboringperson wrote:
Impress her with your knowledge of .... fine wine, and ... exotic food! :-o
I know a great Balti house... They even serve Kingfisher lager! (just kidding).
It's all common sense advice which I've handed out to mates in the past. Like I've said, it's more about the way confidence deserts you when you need it most - like the fickle friend that it is.
Maybe we should start a new post called "First date disasters"?
How about this one....:
A couple of months back I swapped numbers with a lass who seemed sweet and harmless enough.
The next day my phone rang about three times, it was said lass calling me for "a chat". No problem, but I was working at the time and tried to tactfully suggest she waits until after 5:30pm.
Minutes later a text arrives. "What have I done wrong?"
Oh hell... I text back to apologise for being abrupt but I was working and had a deadline to meet.
Later that evening I'm making arrangements to meet, when a text arrives "are you going to stay over tonight?".
Whoa!!! Let's just concentrate on the first date shall we? I gave her the benefit of the doubt and met up later that day. There was no "spark" there, so after a couple of hours I thanked her for a most charming evening and left, despite her asking me once again if I was going to stay the night.
Next thing I get a text from her berating me for not giving enough "attention"....
OOOOoooooh! I know the type!
I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that she's a Drama queen as well, and if you knew her for more than a few weeks and tried to leave, you'd get that "I thought you loved me" accusation over and over.
:-)
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@T_Bone
Do you speak from experience?
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iamaboringperson wrote:
LEARN from ME! iamaboringperson: the most beautiful man in the cosmos! (HAHAHAHAHAHA .......
You look more like an arse to me :-D
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I can go forth with a smile on my face (and chocolate in my pocket, but we'll keep quiet about that one).
"Is that a chocolate in your pocket?
.....or are you happy to see me!"
:banana:
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cecilia wrote:
"Is that a chocolate in your pocket?
.....or are you happy to see me!"
:banana:
I'm happy to see you! (it also means keeping one's chocolate to oneself).
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PMC wrote:
cecilia wrote:
"Is that a chocolate in your pocket?
.....or are you happy to see me!"
:banana:
I'm happy to see you! (it also means keeping one's chocolate to oneself).
I sure that's a BIG "chocolate"!!!!:roflmao:
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cecilia wrote:
I sure that's a BIG "chocolate"!!!!:roflmao:
Yep, it's a foot long slightly triangular shaped and lumpy... Do you think she'll notice my Toblerone bar I've got stashed away?
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Yep, it's a foot long slightly triangular shaped and lumpy
hey! what girl WOULDN'T notice a "foot long"!
:-o
lucky girl! :lol:
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Hehe you live in essex yet you had to ask her? :-p
Robert
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(http://mp3.swissinfo.org/es/images/hoy/toblerone.jpg)
Sweets for the sweet? :love:
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Robert17 wrote:
Hehe you live in essex yet you had to ask her? :-p
Robert
She's from Suffolk, which requires a slightly more delicate approach
:lol:
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cecilia wrote:
lucky girl! :lol:
Not really, I'm keeping my chocolate to myself!
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Mmmmm.. Chocolate Starfish :-P
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Ewww!
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FFS guys!
So have you actually gone out for this drink yet?
No wonder you're worried, posting on a forum and having everyone wait with baited breath with you! :lol:
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@Cyberus
This'll make you laugh.
She postponed because she'd put her back out... Just as I managed to do yesterday too... We're both hobbling around with sore backs and nothing to show for it.
Can it possibly get any more comical?
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PMC wrote:
@Cyberus
This'll make you laugh.
She postponed because she'd put her back out... Just as I managed to do yesterday too... We're both hobbling around with sore backs and nothing to show for it.
Can it possibly get any more comical?
I am kinda hoping she turns out to be a he :-D
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PMC wrote:
@Cyberus
This'll make you laugh.
She postponed because she'd put her back out... Just as I managed to do yesterday too... We're both hobbling around with sore backs and nothing to show for it.
Can it possibly get any more comical?
[seinfeld]
Did she happen to say "yada yada and I threw my back out"
[/seinfeld]
:-P