My Music Video

[motorollin]

Speelgoedmannetje wrote:
The only problem I have with honesty is when it's outed too early. I consider it rude when someone think he/she can have a good opinion about for instance music when he/she has heard he very first minute of a performance.

Ahh yes, I agree with you there. It can take time for music to get under your skin, especially if it is different to what you would usually listen to. For example, when I first started listening to Radiohead I hated it, but I am lucky enough to have been trained in music so could recognise that even though the sound wasn't quite pleasing to my ear, there was something there of value. So I persevered, and now I adore their music. If I were to play, say, Everything In Its Right Place, Paranoid Android or Faust Arp to my father, he would immediately say he doesn't like it. If I tried to explain that it takes time to get used to it, he would refuse. I see this attitude a lot with music, and it makes me sad to think that people are missing out on something beautiful because they refuse to open their minds, give it a chance, and accept the possibility that what they're hearing could change them. After all, surely that's the point of music in the first place.

[Speelgoedmannetje]

motorollin wrote:

Speelgoedmannetje wrote:
The only problem I have with honesty is when it's outed too early. I consider it rude when someone think he/she can have a good opinion about for instance music when he/she has heard he very first minute of a performance.

Ahh yes, I agree with you there. It can take time for music to get under your skin, especially if it is different to what you would usually listen to. For example, when I first started listening to Radiohead I hated it, but I am lucky enough to have been trained in music so could recognise that even though the sound wasn't quite pleasing to my ear, there was something there of value. So I persevered, and now I adore their music. If I were to play, say, Everything In Its Right Place, Paranoid Android or Faust Arp to my father, he would immediately say he doesn't like it. If I tried to explain that it takes time to get used to it, he would refuse. I see this attitude a lot with music, and it makes me sad to think that people are missing out on something beautiful because they refuse to open their minds, give it a chance, and accept the possibility that what they're hearing could change them. After all, surely that's the point of music in the first place.

Without wanting to make this thread soggy, this post exactly state my feelings :-)

[Lorraine]

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[motorollin]

Speelgoedmannetje wrote:
Without wanting to make this thread soggy, this post exactly state my feelings :-)

Well, in for a penny, in for a pound.....
 :knuddel:

:lol:

[motorollin]

Lorraine wrote:
And that's the difference between being politely dishonest and in-your-face "telling-it-how-it-is" biatch!

Being honest isn't necessarily insulting someone, nor shouting things that come to mind.

Quite. But what one person intends as delicate honesty, another person may interpret as insulting. The person asking for an opinion on their hair will probably be doing it for one of three reasons:

1. They suspect their hair looks awful and they are seeking confirmation so they know they need to change it.
2. They suspect their hair looks awful and are hoping for reassurance that it actually looks ok.
3. They genuinely have no opinion regarding their hair and are seeking an objective opinion.

In cases 1 and 3, the individual will most likely be grateful for an honest opinion, even if that opinion confirms that their hair is horrible. However, in situation 2 the individual is probably sensitive and since they are seeking reassurance, may well feel insulted by an honest response even if it was not intended that way.

Lorraine wrote:
If this was Big Brother being honesty is usually perceived as one of two things:

1) The person isn't two-faced, he/she keeps it real.
2) The person is bullying, Offcom on standby...

I have never watched Big Brother, so I'm afraid I have no idea what you're talking about ;-)

Lorraine wrote:
Moto's idea was good for telling the truth when it is needed, not for the sake of it - having a bad haircut could hurt someone more in the longrun.

Well, maybe we're over-analysing. But for me politeness is paramount first, and then common sense kicks in for how much honesty is needed.

Quite. And the skill in reading the speaker in order to discover their true intention (i.e. why they are asking you about their hair) is important for this very reason. Your interpretation of your communication partner's intentions will shape your responses, and response to them will likewise be interpreted not only by what they know about you but also by their motivation for asking the question in the first place. It is often very difficult to truly get in to the head of a speaker, which is why questions like "what do you think of my hair?" are often responded to with a follow-up question like "why?" in order to discover the motivation of the speaker, in order to ensure that your response is congruent with their goal so as to avoid hurting their feelings.

Communication is fascinating :-D

[bloodline]

blah blah, stop all your waffling and tell me about my damn video :-x



;-) :-)

[motorollin]

bloodline wrote:
blah blah, stop all your waffling and tell me about my damn video :-x



;-) :-)

I've already said I like it. What more do you want? :-P

[Speelgoedmannetje]

motorollin wrote:
objective opinion.

*Cough*
I don't want to be rude, but....

[Speelgoedmannetje]

bloodline wrote:
blah blah, stop all your waffling and tell me about my damn video :-x



;-) :-)

Ooooh someone wants attention!

[Speelgoedmannetje]

motorollin wrote:

Speelgoedmannetje wrote:
Without wanting to make this thread soggy, this post exactly state my feelings :-)

Well, in for a penny, in for a pound.....
 :knuddel:

:lol:

:lol:

[Speelgoedmannetje]

I'd love to stay, but I really have to get back to work :-(

[motorollin]

Speelgoedmannetje wrote:

motorollin wrote:
objective opinion.

*Cough*
I don't want to be rude, but....

Hmm good point. But you know what I meant ;-)

[motorollin]

Speelgoedmannetje wrote:
I'd love to stay, but I really have to get back to work :-(

Yeah me too. Though my mini-essay above about pragmatics was somewhat pertinent to my course...

[Lorraine]

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[Lorraine]

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