You should visit my local chip shop, run by a nice couple from the far east..
"Cod an` chips twice please"
"You wan rat ?"
"Nope, just cod please"
"No, you wan open or rat!"
"Er, wrapped thanks.."
"Fuk?"
"Huh?"
"You wan wooden fuk?"
I`m just glad I didn`t ask for a coke...