I'm afraid of spiders for four reasons:
I live in the southern United States, home to a whole slew of dangerous spiders: black widows and brown recluse spiders, just to name a couple.
I have a very young (18 mos. old) daughter and I shudder to think what would happen if one of those sons-of-beeyotches ever stung her.
Third reason (and this is a bit of a long and frankly disgusting story):
Back in November of 2003, I noticed a small lodge on my upper right thigh. Didn't hurt, really; just a bit of a hard knot under the skin. I figured it was an ingrown hair or pimple, and treated it as such: I put a topical ointment on it and waited for it to go away. However, it did not go away. It continued to get larger and more sensitive (and painful) to the touch. This was over the course of about three days. I first noticed it on a Saturday.
By Monday, the week before Thanksgiving, it was a spot about the size of a quarter-dollar, swollen, and pretty painful. A little red in color with some red around the area proper. By Wednesday, I had a spot about the size of the palm of my hand that was fevered to the touch, and a fifty-cent piece sized area that was swollen and MUCH redder and painful.
By Friday, the area was swollen to the size of a golf ball, an area as large as my spread out hand surrounding it was bright red, hard as cardboard, and VERY hot to the touch. A stick-on thermometer said I had a 101 degree fever in that area. I made a call to my doctor to come in the following Monday to have the spot lanced. The "middle spot" was an angry red, trending towards a light purple.
Saturday it was much the same. I thought it'd hit it's "critical mass". Whoa boy was I wrong. That night, around 11:30, I took a friend home after dinner. When I got back and was getting ready for bed, I looked. The "golf ball" had spawned a marble-sized area on top that was extremely dark purple, trending towards black. Now when I say "golf ball sized" and "marble sized" I'm not talking just diameter - I mean actual spheres.
Anyway, the spot(s) had a pustule about the size of a match-head on top. I delicately put some pressure on this area and...well, it was like a sci-fi horror movie. A high-pressure stream of ... well, it wasn't exactly all blood shot out. I told my wife I was driving myself to the hospital, and I'd have my cell phone.
Into the hospital, into the ER at 12:45 AM. Triage nurse didn't even look at the wound - she listened to my description and sent me back immediately. The doctor (a real sweetheart of a trauma doctor, I might add), came back and took one look and she said "Yep. Brown recluse. See it all the time. Let me get a kit, and we'll start up."
The "kit" for treating this kind of injury includes the following items: Scalpel, at least 20 doses of lidocaine, a pint of iodine, about three miles of gauze for blotting.
As you can imagine, the pain from this thing was nearly unbearable at this point - before they'd even started. It burned, it itched, it ached and it was like being stabbed with a red-hot fork all at once. I got fourteen - fourteen - injections of lidocaine in the area immediately surrounding the injury (the hand-size feverish part). It was the worst pain I've ever felt in my entire life, or so I thought. Then they opened the actual infection up and started to clean it, constantly making sure I was OK. The nurse and doctor were really, really great during the whole thing.
Anyway.
The doctor tells me "We've got to get in there and excise what is basically necrotic tissue. You've got a bunch of dead tissue in your leg, and if we don't get it all, you'll be back in here in a week with us doing this again, except under general anestesia and we'll be taking a baseball sized piece of your leg out." (I know; that sounds harsh but she was, again, really great about the whole thing.)
At this point, I figure "How bad can this possibly hurt, compared to what I've been through?"
Then she took the surgical scissors and cut the first time.
The pain shot up my leg, around my waist, and out my privates. I could literally feel the pain in my most delicate of areas, front and back. Oh you can rest assured I screamed bloody murder. I BEGGED her to stop for a minute, but the pain just kept going and going. She told me she had stopped, the minute I yelled. :-(
I got another six (painful) lidocaine injections. The nurse asked me what the pain index was*. I said "TWENTY!" Again, what could I do? Say "Don't do this any more?"
After about fifteen minutes of horrifyingly excruciating pain, they were done, and began to pack this now gaping wound in my leg with gauze. The doctor held my hand, checking my pulse on a monitor because apparently (and I didn't find this out until the follow-up visit later) I was about to go into shock from the pain...ugh.
They let me sleep in the ER surgery for about an hour, god bless them.
I got a prescription for some powerful antibiotics, a few boxes full of gauze pads and a few yards of tape, as well as instructions on how to change the dressing - thrice daily.
Now, to give you an idea as to just how severe this was (in case the above story has left you a little unsure), I still have a hole in my leg about the size of a pea, about a half-inch deep. It just got to the point where it no longer bleeds slightly when pressure is applied. So I guess the healing process is about done.
When I pulled the gauze tape out of the hole to change my dressing the first time, I took about 1 meter of half-inch tape out. When I re-packed it, I got the q-tip I used to pack the gauze about half of it's length into my leg.
The week after my hospital visit, I called the exterminator out to see if he could find a web or webs around the house. While there was nothing inside, underneath the window overhangs on the rear of the house were two (TWO!) black-widow nests, complete with unhatched egg-sacs (that being the fourth reason).
Yeah, I'm afraid of spiders all right. And it has nothing to do with "primal gestalt" or any nonsense like that. It has everything to do with an injury that took nine months to heal on a perfectly healthy adult, that may well have killed my little baby girl.
You better f****** well believe I'm afraid of those little {bleep}os.