Groaner's Corner [was:EMINEM]

[JimS]

Moses and Jesus were in a threesome playing golf
one day. Moses pulled up to the tee and drove a long
one. The ball landed in the fairway, but rolled directly
toward a water hazard. Quickly Moses raised his club,
the water parted and it rolled to the other side, safe
and sound.

Next, Jesus strolled up to the tee and hit a nice long
one directly toward the same water hazard. It landed
right in the centre of the pond and kind of hovered
over the water. Jesus casually walked out on the pond
and chipped the ball onto the green.

The third guy got up and randomly whacked the ball. It
headed out over the fence and into oncoming traffic on
a nearby street. It bounced off a truck and hit a
nearby tree. From there, it bounced onto the roof of a
shack close by and rolled down into the gutter, down
the drain spout, out onto the fairway and straight
toward the aforementioned pond. On the way to the
pond, the ball hit a stone and bounced out over the
water onto a lily pad, where it rested quietly.
Suddenly a very large bullfrog jumped up on a lily pad
and snatched the ball into his mouth.
Just then, an eagle swooped down and grabbed the
frog and flew away. As they passed over the green,
the frog squealed with fright and dropped the ball,
which  bounced right into the cup for a hole in one.

Moses turned to Jesus and said, "I hate playing with
your Dad."


________________
BTW, As an American, I would like to take this opportunity to appologize to the world for the existance of eminem.  :-D

[JimS]

Three Blondes & St. Peter
 
 Three blondes died and are at the pearly gates of Heaven. St. Peter  tells them they can enter the gates if they can answer one simple  little question.
 
 St. Peter asks the first blonde, "What is Easter?"
 
 The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy! It's the holiday in November when everyone gets together, eats turkey, and are thankful."

 "Wrong!" replies St. Peter, and proceeds to ask the second blonde  the same question, "What is Easter?"
 
 The second blonde replies, "Easter is the holiday in December when we put up a nice tree, exchange presents, and celebrate the birth of Jesus."
 
 St. Peter looks at the second blonde, shakes his head in disgust, tells her she's wrong, and then peers over his glasses at the third blonde. He asks, "What is Easter?"
 
The third blonde smiles confidently and looks St. Peter in the eyes, "I know what Easter is."
 
 "Oh?" says St. Peter, incredulously.
 
 "Easter is the Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish celebration of Passover. Jesus and his disciples were eating at the last supper and Jesus was later deceived and turned over to the Romans by one of his disciples. The Romans took him to be crucified and he was stabbed in the side, made to wear a crown of thorns, and was hung on a cross with nails through his hands. He was buried in a nearby cave which was sealed off by a large boulder."
 
 St. Peter smiles broadly with delight. The third blonde continues, "Every year the boulder is moved aside so that Jesus can come out...and, if he sees his shadow, there will be six more weeks of winter."