Amiga.org
Amiga computer related discussion => General chat about Amiga topics => Topic started by: A4000_Mad on November 25, 2010, 11:44:04 AM
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How do you get a big fat lady away from your Amiga?
Piece of cake!!
;)
.
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It's just as easy as stealing candy from a baby... :)
but a wee bit harder than getting duffed up by a gang of pensioners... ;)
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+1
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This thread is all about a mad franko in a temple, no ?
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I got slapped! A woman got on the bus and the driver said "That's the ugliest baby I have ever seen!!". Without saying a word the woman stormed up to the back of the bus and sat beside me. All I said to her was "Go tell him off love and I'll hold your monkey for you" :-O
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How do you get a big fat lady away from your Amiga?
;)
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Throw chips at her.
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I has a cake.
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How do you get a big fat lady away from your Amiga?
Ask her politely? :)
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Ask her politely? :)
Good answer Matt :lol:
And that reminds me of another old joke:-
Q. What do you call a 6' 5" gorilla with a machine gun?
A. Sir
:)
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Good answer Matt :lol:
And that reminds me of another old joke:-
Q. What do you call a 6' 5" gorilla with a machine gun?
A. Sir
:)
Someone once asked Stevie Wonder what is was like to be blind.
He said "It could be worse. I could be black."
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How do you get a big fat lady away from your Amiga?
That's no way to talk about your wife :laughing:
...and @ Tension: that was a goot one! lmao
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How do you get a big fat lady away from your Amiga?
Explain to her that the chips inside are not the edible kind. :)
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Is it difficult to get a big fat lady away your Amiga?
Offer to buy her a Mac, after all a big mac only costs £1.99 :D
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Offer to buy her a Mac, after all a big mac only costs £1.99 :D
You're really workin on these :lol:
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Ere... A4000_Mad
Did you push the fat lady off the bus...
(http://i995.photobucket.com/albums/af79/frankosamiga/Funny/fatbungee.jpg)
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Ere... A4000_Mad
Did you push the fat lady off the bus...
(http://i995.photobucket.com/albums/af79/frankosamiga/Funny/fatbungee.jpg)
OMG! :lol::lol::lol:
The only thing I've got for a woman like that is a 3.5 inch floppy ;)
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Is it difficult to get a big fat lady away your Amiga?
Its very difficult because all you have to offer is an Apple! :)
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Sorry but when did casual racism become funny?
As for the fat woman jokes I suppose you guys are all ripped chiselled images of adonis?
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Is it difficult to get a big fat lady away your Amiga?
lets not forget she even blocks out Windows:)
(ok I will stop now, there only going to go down hill from here.)
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Ian Paisley died and went to heaven, when he got there me knocked long and hard on the door. St.Peter came out and asked his name.
"YOU DON'T KNOW MY NAME ? I'M THE REV. IAN PAISLEY" he roared at St Peter.
St.Peter looked at his list and could not find his name. "Sorry" said St.Peter you're not on the list.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M NOT ON THE LIST??? DO YOU NOT KNOW WHO I AM???"
"As a matter of fact I do" said St. Peter, "but your name is not on the list".
"THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH I'M A VERY IMPORTANT PERSON MY NAME SHOULD BE ON THE LIST!"
St. Peter trys to explain that its not easy to get into heaven, and that you have to be a Catholic.
When Paisley hears this he starts to complain, so St. Peter says that had he been good to Catholics that he would have some chance.
"WELL!!" roared Paisley, "I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT I HAVE BEEN VERY GOOD TO CATHOLICS, WHY ONLY 2 WEEKS AGO I MET A YOUNG GIRL WHO HAD MADE HER COMMUNION AND I GAVE HER A POUND, AND 2 WEEKS BEFORE I MET A YOUNG BOY WHO HAD MADE HIS COMMUNION AND I GAVE HIM A POUND, NOW WHAT DO YOU SAY NOW MR. ST. PETER ???"
St. Peter took a few notes on what he said, he told Paisley to wait that he would have to go and talk to God and get some advice. About ten minutes later St. Peter came back out and said to Paisley.
"HERE'S YOUR TWO POUNDS BACK, NOW FUCK OFF!!"
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Sorry but when did casual racism become funny?
As for the fat woman jokes I suppose you guys are all ripped chiselled images of adonis?
Once in the distant past I was! :lol:
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Sorry but when did casual racism become funny?
Umm.... since the beginning of time? ;)
Just ask any entertainer or bartender. OR anyone that has a lot of experience dealing with different cultures, races and religions for that matter. Black, White, Jewish, Hispanic, Irish, Scottish, Italian, Asian, etc. Gay, straight, Catholic, Lutheran, Protestant, Amish, Infidels, Agnostic, Republican, Democrat, Independent, Liberal, etc. Doesn't matter. If they're aren't joking about their own kind, they're usually funnin' on others. It's called humor and there's often elements of truth to be observed. Nothing wrong with that. Unless of course, you're insecure and/or self-righteous.
As for being ripped - you bet! Drink every other day and if it weren't for alcohol - couldn't tolerate MOST of the women these days, especially WI women. Hooray for beer goggles :lol:
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Umm.... since the beginning of time? ;)
Just ask any entertainer. Black, White, Jewish, Hispanic, Irish, Scottish, Italian, Asian, etc. Gay, straight, Catholic, Lutheran, Protestant, Amish, Infidels, Agnostic, Republican, Democrat, Independent, Liberal, etc. Doesn't matter. If they're aren't joking about their own kind, they're usually funnin' on others. It's called humor and there's often elements of truth to be observed. Nothing wrong with that. Unless of course, you're insecure and/or self-righteous.
As for being ripped - you bet! Drink every other day and if it weren't for alcohol - couldn't tolerate MOST of the women these days, especially WI women. Hooray for beer goggles :lol:
Considering I was banned for 24hrs for "hate speech" when I merely accused Hollywood of propagating a certain political ideology, how long do you think you'll get?
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Considering I was banned for 24hrs for "hate speech" when I merely accused Hollywood of propagating a certain political ideology, how long do you think you'll get?
What?!? I'm not hatin'! Observing reality is all. Humor in what some are defining as "racism" is everywhere. Currently. It's on mainstream TV even. Comedy shops. Internet. It's not hate. It's humor. Celebrating and observing differences is not hate. Why do some have such a difficult time grasping this concept? There has been no slander here.
Besides - you're the one spouting the Catholic joke. ;)
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Ian Paisley died and went to heaven, when he got there me knocked long and hard on the door. St.Peter came out and asked his name.
"YOU DON'T KNOW MY NAME ? I'M THE REV. IAN PAISLEY" he roared at St Peter.
St.Peter looked at his list and could not find his name. "Sorry" said St.Peter you're not on the list.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M NOT ON THE LIST??? DO YOU NOT KNOW WHO I AM???"
"As a matter of fact I do" said St. Peter, "but your name is not on the list".
"THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH I'M A VERY IMPORTANT PERSON MY NAME SHOULD BE ON THE LIST!"
St. Peter trys to explain that its not easy to get into heaven, and that you have to be a Catholic.
When Paisley hears this he starts to complain, so St. Peter says that had he been good to Catholics that he would have some chance.
"WELL!!" roared Paisley, "I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT I HAVE BEEN VERY GOOD TO CATHOLICS, WHY ONLY 2 WEEKS AGO I MET A YOUNG GIRL WHO HAD MADE HER COMMUNION AND I GAVE HER A POUND, AND 2 WEEKS BEFORE I MET A YOUNG BOY WHO HAD MADE HIS COMMUNION AND I GAVE HIM A POUND, NOW WHAT DO YOU SAY NOW MR. ST. PETER ???"
St. Peter took a few notes on what he said, he told Paisley to wait that he would have to go and talk to God and get some advice. About ten minutes later St. Peter came back out and said to Paisley.
"HERE'S YOUR TWO POUNDS BACK, NOW FUCK OFF!!"
A better one:
Ian Paisley gets accidentally cyrogenically frozen for 50 years. When he wakes up, the first question from his big, angry mouth is "What the hell happened?".
His doctor comes over and says "Good afternoon Mr. Paisley. You have been cryogenically frozen for 50 years, and I have good news and bad news for you." To which Ian replies "Whats the bad news?" "Well," says the doc, "Ireland invaded England 25 years ago, Gerry Adams is Prime Minister, and Mary McAleese has been crowned Queen." "Mother o'God!" cries Ian. "Whats the GOOD news?" "Rangers beat Celtic last night" says his doc, with a grin. Ian sits back and smiles. "What was the score?" His doc turns to him and says "Three goals and four points to one goal and one point".
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A better one:
Ian Paisley gets accidentally cyrogenically frozen for 50 years. When he wakes up, the first question from his big, angry mouth is "What the hell happened?".
His doctor comes over and says "Good afternoon Mr. Paisley. You have been cryogenically frozen for 50 years, and I have good news and bad news for you." To which Ian replies "Whats the bad news?" "Well," says the doc, "Ireland invaded England 25 years ago, Gerry Adams is Prime Minister, and Mary McAleese has been crowned Queen." "Mother o'God!" cries Ian. "Whats the GOOD news?" "Rangers beat Celtic last night" says his doc, with a grin. Ian sits back and smiles. "What was the score?" His doc turns to him and says "Three goals and four points to one goal and one point".
Gaelic Football is awful!
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Gaelic Football is awful!
We are champions!!
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I see no Amiga related chit chat in this thread and plenty of posts not in line with Amiga.org's family friendly approach. This thread is now locked