Thank you all for your support, you've made me feel like maybe I shouldn't be afraid to post here. I still feel like I've failed the Amiga community because I had so many ideas for how to help, and for a little while I was able to communicate with others who could help make these ideas happen, but as well as spending too much time helping people with their individual problems (the reason I wrote a few guides was because so many people were asking me to help them through things step-by-step) I was also receiving a lot of criticism and negativity from several people in the community which really got me down. My online life means a lot to me because it's impossible for me to make friends or communicate easily in real life. I ended up meeting a few guys in real life after chatting on the forums or IRC, but they seemed weirded out by me and avoided contact afterwards. A lot of people ended up dumping their old, broken Commodore and Amiga junk on me, and this stuff was already piling up here. I have no idea about soldering or hardware repairs and the only person I knew who could fix them (AmigaManiac) also got depression and had a breakdown. So I feel like I can't move with the burden of all of this junk and responsibility and broken promises and failed dreams weighing me down.
I for one am really glad you are back Cammy, you're a great person!
It's easy to be too friendly and help too many people. That happens to me a lot, I take on machine after machine IRL (not only Amigas, but video game consoles, arcade systems, other PC's and even dead monitors) to fix and at several points I don't even have time for my own projects.
The important thing to learn that also is hard is to say "no", it's a hard word to use sometimes, especially when you know the people, but I noticed people accepted that I didn't have time at the moment and now I only take on stuff I've got the spare time for
I pick up a lot of cool stuff in Sweden (not only Amiga hardware) and I meet a lot of strange people and even rude pompous know it all types of people, but now and then I actually find someone who becomes a friend and that's great.
(bonding over retro hardware with a stranger can be really great since you know you have at least something in common)
I hid my age for several years online since people I met strangely did not respect me or take me seriously because of my age (I'm born in 1986 but grew up with older machines). In late 2012 I got contacted about my Amigas by a computer magazine for IT professionals. They wanted to make an article in the retro sections about my A1200 which I gladly accepted since I wanted more people to get back into Amiga. Tho I did not share the article for quite some time since I did not want to show people that I was a bit younger (they didn't write my age but the picture shows that I'm a bit younger), but about a year ago I went %&$#?@!%&$#?@!%&$#?@!%&$#?@! it, I know what I am capable off and I'm not letting anyone piss on me because of my age, and surprisingly most people didn't even mention it. A few guys have given me a hard time but I just don't care since I know what I am capable of and age is not that important, heck most of my real life retro friends are 10-30 years older then me, doesn't bother me or them which is great!
Also thanks a lot for posting you got me to write the above which felt kinda good to get out!
The ones that stopped talking to you are not worth your time anyways, their loss not yours! I hope you don't think everyone is like that!
