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AuthorTopic: Bailif Bert  (Read 858 times)

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Offline PGit

Bailif Bert
« on: August 06, 2005, 02:54:19 PM »
Bailifs seems to be under represented in childrens TV.

Bailef Bert (to the tune of Postman Pat)

Baillef Bert, Bailif Bert
Bailif Bert and his big, heavy stick
Early in the morning, Just as day is dawning,
He beats you up and makes you pay the bill

Bailif Bert, Bailif Bert
Bailif Bert and his big, heavy stick
All the birds are singing, and the day is just beginning.
He breaks your legs with his big and heavy stick

Everybody knows his big, black mercedes
They all run away as he goes to greet them
Maybe, if you havn't paid your bills
There'll be knock, bang baillef at your door

Baillef Bert, Bailif Bert
Bailif Bert and his big, heavy stick
All the birds are singing, and the day is just beginning.
He breaks your legs with his big and heavy stick

Skegness Film Makers Society
 

Offline NoFastMem

Re: Bailif Bert
« Reply #1 on: August 08, 2005, 12:28:48 AM »
Erm...
AKA that_punk_guy
 

Offline Speelgoedmannetje

Re: Bailif Bert
« Reply #2 on: August 08, 2005, 08:48:55 AM »
Quote

NoFastMem wrote:
Erm...
:lol:
And the canary said: \'chirp\'
 

Offline Wain

Re: Bailif Bert
« Reply #3 on: August 09, 2005, 08:21:34 PM »
only glanced, didn't have time to actually read OP, but is this porn or something?
Professional Expatriate
 

Offline PGit

Re: Bailif Bert
« Reply #4 on: August 11, 2005, 04:50:43 PM »
No it isn't porn, I think. We should have more baillifs and other underepresented professions on kid's TV. For example when was the last time you saw them show a dodgy Ebay trader?
Skegness Film Makers Society
 

Offline Cyberus

Re: Bailif Bert
« Reply #5 on: August 12, 2005, 09:40:59 AM »
I can just imagine it now...

What do you want to be when you grow up....?

A fireman?
A train-driver?
An astronaut...?

Nah! I wanna defraud people on eBay, just like Doomy, he's my  hero!
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Offline Doobrey

Re: Bailif Bert
« Reply #6 on: August 14, 2005, 03:39:46 AM »
What about a kiddies show about a satanic construction worker ?

Beelzebob the Builder    :evilgrin:

Just promise me you won't get Neil Morrissey to sing the theme tune.
On schedule, and suing
 

Offline Methuselas

Re: Bailif Bert
« Reply #7 on: August 14, 2005, 10:46:34 PM »
Quote

Cyberus wrote:


Nah! I wanna defraud people on eBay, just like Doomy, he's my  hero!




Cyberus, you're obsessed with Doomy. I think you love him. You want to have Doom Master Babies.

If you do, I hope they're mil-spec.  :lol:  :lol:
\'Using no way as way. Having no limitation as limitation.\' - Bruce Lee

\'No, sorry. I don\'t get my tits out. They\'re not actually real, you know? Just two halves of a grapefruit...\' - Miki Berenyi

\'Evil will always triumph because good is dumb.\' - Dark Helmet :roflmao:

\'And for future reference, it might be polite to ask someone if you can  quote them in your signature, rather than just citing them to make a  sales pitch.\' - Karlos. :rtfm: (I didn\'t ask, obviously......) :lol:
 

Offline Cyberus

Re: Bailif Bert
« Reply #8 on: August 15, 2005, 02:39:13 AM »
Quote

Methuselas wrote:
Quote

Cyberus wrote:


Nah! I wanna defraud people on eBay, just like Doomy, he's my  hero!




Cyberus, you're obsessed with Doomy. I think you love him.


Shhhhhh! ;-)

Quote

You want to have Doom Master Babies.

Can you imagine that? All running around defrauding the other kids out of their lunch money...

Quote

If you do, I hope they're mil-spec.  :lol:  :lol:

They will be of high quality, as they'll be part English ;-) And everyone knows that the English make the best 'hardware' ;-);-) :lol:
I like Amigas
 

Offline Cyberus

Re: Bailif Bert
« Reply #9 on: August 15, 2005, 02:43:48 AM »
Woah, its quiet in here, a fat golden vagina roll up for me and then bed methinks....
I like Amigas
 

Offline Methuselas

Re: Bailif Bert
« Reply #10 on: August 15, 2005, 03:05:04 AM »
Quote

Cyberus wrote:
Quote




Shhhhhh! ;-)



*laughing hysterically*
 

Quote


Can you imagine that? All running around defrauding the other kids out of their lunch money...


"Hey, how would you like to get your hands on this one-of-a-kind, mil-spec lunchbox? It even comes with a brown and green bananna! Don't worry about all that white stuff on the bananna. It's just so you don't have to get shots!"

Quote


They will be of high quality, as they'll be part English ;-) And everyone knows that the English make the best 'hardware' ;-);-) :lol:
:lol:

Funny, I always thought that was just GREAT beer you Brits made.

:roflmao:

That, and wonderful Situation Comedies, such as Red Dwarf.  :-D
\'Using no way as way. Having no limitation as limitation.\' - Bruce Lee

\'No, sorry. I don\'t get my tits out. They\'re not actually real, you know? Just two halves of a grapefruit...\' - Miki Berenyi

\'Evil will always triumph because good is dumb.\' - Dark Helmet :roflmao:

\'And for future reference, it might be polite to ask someone if you can  quote them in your signature, rather than just citing them to make a  sales pitch.\' - Karlos. :rtfm: (I didn\'t ask, obviously......) :lol:
 

Offline PGit

Re: Bailif Bert
« Reply #11 on: August 26, 2005, 05:20:17 PM »
It's not just kid's shows. Superhero stories are just as bad, we have Superman, Batman, Catwoman etc but what about hermaphrodites?
Skegness Film Makers Society
 

Offline Cyberus

Re: Bailif Bert
« Reply #12 on: August 26, 2005, 05:25:59 PM »
Quote
Baillef Bert, Bailif Bert
Bailif Bert and his big, heavy stick
Early in the morning, Just as day is dawning,
He beats you up and makes you pay the bill


And his big heavy stick?
Hmm, not sure you're onto a winner with that little ditty my friend....
I like Amigas
 

Offline Cyberus

Re: Bailif Bert
« Reply #13 on: August 27, 2005, 02:58:45 AM »
What about....

Pornstar Pete

or

Terry the Terrorist?
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