Groaner's Corner [was:EMINEM]

[Karlos]

Damnit man, I'm not reading all that!  :-x

I'll read it tomorrow.... ;-)

Just saw this one recently:

An old nun was lecturing the drinker on the evils of drink as he tried to enter the pub.
"Listen Sister," he said. "Don't knock it if you've never tried it! If you'd tried even one drink you'd know what you are talking about."
She agreed that he had a point.
"OK, I'll try just a small drink then," she said, "I don't want to be seen drinking from a hotel glass so can you get me some in this water flask?"
He went up to the bar and asked for a gin in the flask.
The barman laughed, "Don't tell me that damn nun's still out there!"

[Karlos]

@Gadget

:lol:

That's actually pretty good :-D

[Karlos]

Tragic news just in:

Ireland's worst air disaster in almost a decade occurred early this morning when a small two seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. Search and rescue workers have recovered 1,826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues.

[Karlos]

A man goes to his GP for a check up.

Doctor: "I'm going to need a urine sample, a semen sample, a blood sample and a stool sample".

Patient: "I'm in a hurry. can I just leave my underpants?"

[Karlos]

Oh yes indeedy, Groaner's is back, bigger and better than ever.

Now that we're using VBulletin, which handles immensely long threads with ease, this thread is now unlocked for your amusement. What's more, Groaner's Corner Reloaded and Groaner's Corner Revisited and Groaner's Corner 4.0 have been merged into the original behemoth.

Enjoy

[Karlos]

In true groaner tradition:

A man goes into a pub with his Labrador, makes his way to the bar and asks for a drink. Seeing the dog, the landlord objects, "I'm sorry sir, you can't bring that dog in here. You'll have to leave him outside or leave immediately."

The man, without hesitation, says, "Please, I'm blind. This is my guide dog"

"Sorry mate", the landlord apologises ashamedly, "Here, the first one's on the house. Enjoy.".

The man takes his drink and goes to a table near the door.

Another man walks in with a Chihuahua. The first man sees him and warns, "You can't bring that dog in here unless you tell him it's a guide dog."

The second man graciously thanks the first man and continues to the bar. He asks for a drink. The landlord says "Sorry sir, you can't bring that dog in here."

On cue, the second man responds, "This is my guide dog."

Shaking his head, the landlord replies "Erm, no, I don't think so. Since when did they start using Chiwauas as guide dogs?!"

The man pulls an incredulous face and replies "What?!?! They gave me a Chihuahua?!?"

[Karlos]

My pleasure. I never really forgave Red for locking it in the first place.. :p Seriously though, he was quite right as xoops never really liked big threads that much. Not much of a problem now though, I've seen 1000+ page threads on other VB sites.

It's all good fun

[Karlos]

A woman goes to her doctor complaining that she is exhausted all the time. After the diagnostic tests showed nothing, the doctor gets around to asking her how often she has intercourse.
"Every Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday," she says.
The doctor advises her to cut out Wednesday.
"I can't," says the woman. "That's the only night I'm home with my husband."

[Karlos]

Lol!

[Karlos]

I once had a bad experience at a pantomime.

Fortunately, now it's behind me.

[Karlos]

Ok, this one made me laugh. I know it shouldn't have, but what can you do?

Patient, "Doctor, you have to help me. My wife thinks I'm crazy because I like sausages""
Psychiatrist, "Nonsense! I like sausages too."
Patient,"Great! You should come and see my collection, I've got hundreds of them!"

[Karlos]

And now?

[Karlos]

In related news, Bjork is said to be furious at the fact she's no longer the biggest thing from Iceland to spout crap all over the UK and cause so much suffering to so many innocent people...

[Karlos]

:lol:

That's a good one. I can actually imagine that...

[Karlos]

I'm afraid I've rather submitted to the dubious humour over at the cheezburger network, particularly the comixed site:

[Karlos]

Oh, wow.  What a groaner! :lol:

If you're really into self-harm, try reading the whole thread :lol: