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Amiga computer related discussion => Amiga Gaming => Topic started by: CritAnime on June 15, 2011, 06:50:33 PM
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I have always been curious to see what people consider to be laughable game titles for the Amiga and the reasons why.
I have always found Akira to be one of the most pathetic games I have ever played on the Amiga. The in game music just seemed bland and boring. The controls feel like your trying to wade through mud. The load times are rather long, even on the cd32 version. And the difficulty just feels like you would have an easier time handling a greasy weasle, in boxing gloves, while drunk and on a pogo stick.
The entire effort just seems laughably poor and pathetic.
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"Alien Fires" aka "Figures Standing in Hallways"
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Hillsfar. I hope the ghost of Gary Gygax haunts the coders at SSI forever for that piece of shit.
There was a flight sim that was based on the idea around the Nellis AFB Red Flag competitions but, being a flight sim, you could actually shoot down your opponents. The enemy "AI" involved just banking right as hard as possible (thus they'd fly in a circle) any time you were near.
Speaking of those, F29 Retaliator. Beautiful game! High poly count! Ran well on unexpanded machines! Hitboxes...ehh...yeah about that. Nothing like flying 500m away from a terrain feature only to smack into it because the bounding box around the polygon for that feature was the size of fucking Nebraska.
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Speaking of those, F29 Retaliator. Beautiful game! High poly count! Ran well on unexpanded machines! Hitboxes...ehh...yeah about that. Nothing like flying 500m away from a terrain feature only to smack into it because the bounding box around the polygon for that feature was the size of fucking Nebraska.
So I am not the only one to crash into thin air then. :rofl:
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So I am not the only one to crash into thin air then. :rofl:
No. It's part of why the game's performance was so high with such a relatively high poly count. It's easy to pull off when the game just says "Okay those are there for decorations, I don't have to worry about calculations for physics or interactions - the big invisible rectangle they're sitting in, that one I need to make 'solid' (even though it's transparent)."
If you think about it, it sadly makes perfect sense.
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I really hated Captain Planet and its awful controls and collision detection. Also, Last action hero was a real dissapointment and Ive always been ashamed of Street Fighter II, later titles of that franchise proved the Amiga could do so much better. There is much more though, the really awful graphics of the Sierra Amiga adventures for example, or what about Pitfighter, Cabal (the c64 version looked better!) and post-1995 stuff like Racer, Joyride, Flyin High etc.. Oh and did anyone see the intro of Hellpigs? :(
Fortunately there have been more great games than bad ones.. :)
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@b00tdisk
I know I know :D
It's just slightly irritating when your trying some acrobatics on smash into nothing lol. Still a very good game.
Human Killing Machine. What not to do with a Street Fighter engine.
I really hated Captain Planet and its awful controls and collision detection.
My god that game was awful. I am convinced the only reason that game was played is because it was packed in with the Amiga.
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Rise of the Robots was pretty lame, also dangerous streets that came with the CD32.
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Sierra games... the instant you loaded them up you was appalled by the graphics. Especially so in the earlier games like Space Quest. They just ported them straight from the PC - 16 colours and all that crap... shameful. It was like taking a step back into the 80s, but I guess that is where the PC was at at that time - behind. Nonetheless I did play them to death - because they was fun to play. But why so many discs? Did Sierra not believe in compression?
I played these around the time the A1200 was being touted and was looking forward to having a hard drive. Sadly Commodore f**ked up by not installing them as standard. Every man and his dog in the Amiga world wanted a HD, after that appalling decision you knew Commodore were heading into trouble.
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I remember buying a game I hadn't heard of, just around when the high street stores were stopping the sale of Amiga games. It was a turn-based submarine game, but it was so bad I brought it back for a refund. It took 4 or 5 goes of fiddling about just to get it to run, and when it finally did... I was horrified. No sound, a 2-colour interlaced screen and some sort of controls you couldn't read that were copies of MacOS gadgets. I really couldn't understand how crap like that got published!!
Edit: The fact I'd never heard of it, and that it didn't have any screenshots on the box probably should've been a warning I guess... And I owned it for about 3 days in total so I've totally forgotten the name of it.
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Any flight "sim" with a choppy framerate and sparse graphics. There's so many bad ones out there that were touted as being great or popular, but when you try to play them today - meh. Guess that genre didn't hold up particularly well IMO. One that was real popular back in the day was Wings. I love most Cinemaware games, but this is exactly what I just described above.
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@save2600
Yeah, there are only so many polygons you can push around with a 7MHz CPU... Some of them were better programmed though, and ran as fast as the CPU allowed, like "modern" 3D games, as opposed to some which were tied to a specific framerate which was the lowest common rate that worked on all machines.
Birds of Prey was a great game! It struggles on an 000, was just about playable on the stock A1200, but flew along (sorry!) when I got my 060! Looks hella clunky nowadays though...
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I think we can all agree that shitty PC ports - particularly games that should have taken advantage of certain things the Amiga had (speech, mouse input, etc.) were pretty much the worst of the worst. There were even cases where Amiga features were coded WRONG! Wing Commander CD32, for example, had a bug that used the Akiko chip incorrectly and actually made the game slower.
EDIT: also, pretty much Sierra's output for the Amiga. Fucking four, eight and sixteen color games on a machine that could do 64 without missing a beat.
THANKS, ASSHOLES.
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Hahahaha! I've been looking at Dangerous Streets CD32 in this video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kH0gnPQndEI
Now... Why does Enola Gay play with the fight???
And... and... she blocks by turning herself into a block!! This game is bollocks :D
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EDIT: also, pretty much Sierra's output for the Amiga. Fucking four, eight and sixteen color games on a machine that could do 64 without missing a beat.
THANKS, ASSHOLES.
Couldn't agree more! Throughout its history, the Amiga was seriously gypped that way. Between horseshit AtariST ports and clunky looking IBM DOS ports - what in the F#CK were they thinking?
I've never played Wing Commander on the CD32, but I can just imagine how clunky and slow that translation is. :angry:
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The Final Gate was the worst P.O.S. i ever played on the Amiga CD32. I'd rather gouge my eyes out, pour vinegar in them and be forced to play Akira all night than play that junk again.
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Well i'd like to add EA's "One on One" Dr J and Larry Bird. What a piece of sh8t. The c64 version is way cooler looking and better music. How lame
Oh and same thing with Airborne Ranger. I mean how can a c64 version get crappier going to amiga??
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Crappy early Amiga Title Ports:
Electronic Arts - Adventure Construction Set
Epyx -Rogue (Compare the Graphics of the ST Port against the Amiga Port)
SSI - Demon's Winter (Looks Like they used IBM Graphics)
Activision - Hacker, Portal, Little Computer People
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Couldn't agree more! Throughout its history, the Amiga was seriously gypped that way. Between horseshit AtariST ports and clunky looking IBM DOS ports - what in the F#CK were they thinking?
I've never played Wing Commander on the CD32, but I can just imagine how clunky and slow that translation is. :angry:
I think it speaks volumes to the whole conversion theory that Wing Commander for the Amiga...
A: Ran in 16 colors in menu/on-ship areas
B: ACTUALLY HAD the menu for selecting the Secret Missions disk - it functioned, if you click on it, it waits for you to insert the (nonexistent, never created) Secret Missions disk
C: Actually works and runs well on 030 machines. Try it on an 030 equipped AGA machine, it's lovely. For that matter, if you can get the CD32 version it runs in 256 colors.
Pisses me off it does.
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Amiga Last Ninja2 was pretty bad. Straight port from the already crappy ST version.
LN3 was ok-ish, and not a straight ST port, but still not as good as LN3 for c64. Remix was the only Amiga LN game that retains the feel of the c64 and other 8bit versions.
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The Sierra games I had in mind were already VGA games -256 colours. Our AGA machines would have had no problem handling these. But then It would have to be harddrive-only. Not many games were, I only recall Willy Beamish (quite a decent PC port) and a few later games.
Rise of the robots was crap on all platforms, so I guess that doesnt count :)
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Kang-fu
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEweuH5NCAI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eB5kk9w1Os8
they are quite protective over the game too, when we put the music online. I guess people will have to manage without it. hard luck.
http://www.exotica.org.uk/wiki/Kang_Fu
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Baby Jo (http://www.lemonamiga.com/games/details.php?id=106)
I used to joke with one of my (amiga-)friends that it was made in AMOS :D
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Touring Car Challenge - I agree wholeheartedly with this: http://amr.abime.net/review_1711
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Ah, how could I forget Inertia Drive
http://hol.abime.net/3647
I remember the 1st time I tried it out on a compilation disc. I had friends with me at the time and they accused me of having made it with S.E.U.C.K :)
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The one game that I always used to use as an example of a ridiculously unplayable game was Obliterator. The guy in the game was totally sluggish and unresponsive and you had to use the row of big onscreen icons to control him. It's easy to run into walls or end up facing the wrong way or perform some other stupid action. You have no chance unless you rehearse the action over and over again. I haven't played it in years but the memories remain.
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Kang-fu
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEweuH5NCAI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eB5kk9w1Os8
they are quite protective over the game too, when we put the music online. I guess people will have to manage without it. hard luck.
http://www.exotica.org.uk/wiki/Kang_Fu
Uuh.. that was without doubt one of the worst... utter crap in all areas.
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I dont really agree.. Technically it was quite impressive, and although the graphics dont fit together at all, they are quite large and colourful.
Same goes for Baby Jo. Although I never played the game, at least in the visual department its not bad at all.
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One Christmas I asked Santa for Amiga games. He gave me "Days of Thunder","Slackskin and Flint" and "Custodian".
That was the worst Christmas ever.
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Death Mask. Doom for the A500. Only not.
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Death Mask. Doom for the A500. Only not.
Come on.. it wasn't THAT bad :)
@rvo_nl
Doesn't really matter how advanced it was technically.. the game was bad and safe to say one of the most unplayable games ever.
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Come on.. it wasn't THAT bad :)
Y...yes it was. It was goddamn awful.
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Indeed it was. Kangfu is bloody awful too, though.
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Kang Fu is so bloody awful it deserves a place in computer gaming history. It's like the TV show Bonekickers, only much, much more so.
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Well it's a Dutch title, so I'm supposed to stand up for it :)
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BZN and Big Brother also are Dutch inventions..
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The CDTV title "Psycho Killer"
I unfortunately bought this for my A570
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I found Last Battle to be a rather laughable excuse for a game. I never liked the Mega Drive version but the Amiga version made it look good. Poor controls and poor everything else.
Vigilante again is a game i wish I had never had bothered to play. But as it came with my first Amiga then I was bound to play it. And regret.
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BZN and Big Brother also are Dutch inventions..
true.. :)
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BZN and Big Brother also are Dutch inventions..
(OT)So thats who I need to blame for unleashing that on the UK lol. Thank god it's over now....
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Just played Freddy Hardest/Guardian Angel......... Oh your god...... it's terrible...
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This thread is so funny :)
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@magnetic
What laughable games have you played?
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Come on.. it wasn't THAT bad :)
I quite liked Death Mask. Its game play was limited but level design was quite good. And it was the only Doom "clone" you could play on Amiga 500 anyway... :D
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Firstly DeathMask was not anyhting like doom. it was dungeon master with realtime movement
Secondly one of the worst games ever is microcosm
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Not terrible, but close - Rise of the robots.
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Thought I would bring this thread back to life. So what games did you find poor, terrible or just generally laughable.
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We wasted a lot of time on Deathmask and Dogs of War and well, they are both pretty terrible.
I guess even a ****e game is still fun in two player.
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Neighbours....... yeah I found the disk... it's burnt now....
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I had Robocop and thought it sucked back in the day.
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I had Robocop and thought it sucked back in the day.
But not as much as the c64 version....
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@magnetic
What laughable games have you played?
magnetic.... and it looks long over :p
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Bazing!
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Well i know Cannon Fodder is considered a classic but i have never know a game to make me so mad back in 1994 :lol:
Building up a soldier to a lieutenant or corporal and then having him shot on some impossible mission - well i'm not normally a violent person but i threw the game box across the room so hard it became impaled on the back of some darts stuck in a dartboard :roflmao: My excuse - i was around 16 at the time!
This is why i'm better off playing RPG/Point+Click/Strategy games :)
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Ugh....
I just played the Amiga version of Indy Jones and the Temple of Doom... Oww, my eyes are BURNING! So utterly, absolutely horrible, drab and awful!!
I would say the graphics remind me of a C-64 game, but that is insulting the 64!! More like an Apple II...
Yet the arcade game was SO good, I thought...
Other 'dishonorable mentions' include:
Rise of the Robots (and I bought the CD32 version, LOL!)
Phalanx (I thought it was gonna be the Jap. h-shooter...nope)
Pit-Fighter
Phobia (unless you cheat)
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Was the arcade the isometric one?
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Well i know Cannon Fodder is considered a classic but i have never know a game to make me so mad back in 1994 :lol:
Building up a soldier to a lieutenant or corporal and then having him shot on some impossible mission - well i'm not normally a violent person but i threw the game box across the room so hard it became impaled on the back of some darts stuck in a dartboard :roflmao: My excuse - i was around 16 at the time!
This is why i'm better off playing RPG/Point+Click/Strategy games :)
Well, at least that was just the box. My younger brother had a habit of smashing joysticks against the wall (his inability to master the control scheme in Barbarian 2 caused particular carnage). I suppose his excuse was that he was 9 at the time. However, he called around to my house a while back and did the same thing to my PS3 controller (and kicked the console for good measure)-he'll be 30 in December!
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Barbarian II was one of the first computer games i ever bought:) Even back then i had great difficulty controlling the thrusts of the warrior and found it very unfair one minute you're running across the screen, the next minute you fall straight into a pit or hole on the next screen giving you no time to stop running :roflmao:
There was a certain sense of satisfaction in chopping off those chicken creatures heads on the rare occasion i managed it :roflmao: i seem to remember getting pecked into a hole on a regular basis