Well ah wiz born in Glesga efter awe, n if rat wee tube kin reed ren ra next thing he'll be reedin is ma signature oan the stookie oan baith his broken legs... wee lump o keech so he is...
Weegie is easy, even for sassenachs like moi:
Translated:
Well I was born in Glasgow, after all and if that little halfwit can read then the next thing he'll be reading is my signature on the cast on both his broken legs... little lump of sh*t so he is.