Laughable Amiga Titles.

[CritAnime]

I have always been curious to see what people consider to be laughable game titles for the Amiga and the reasons why.

I have always found Akira to be one of the most pathetic games I have ever played on the Amiga. The in game music just seemed bland and boring. The controls feel like your trying to wade through mud. The load times are rather long, even on the cd32 version. And the difficulty just feels like you would have an easier time handling a greasy weasle, in boxing gloves, while drunk and on a pogo stick.

The entire effort just seems laughably poor and pathetic.

[jorkany]

"Alien Fires" aka "Figures Standing in Hallways"

[B00tDisk]

Hillsfar.  I hope the ghost of Gary Gygax haunts the coders at SSI forever for that piece of shit.

There was a flight sim that was based on the idea around the Nellis AFB Red Flag competitions but, being a flight sim, you could actually shoot down your opponents.  The enemy "AI" involved just banking right as hard as possible (thus they'd fly in a circle) any time you were near.

Speaking of those, F29 Retaliator.  Beautiful game!  High poly count!  Ran well on unexpanded machines!  Hitboxes...ehh...yeah about that.  Nothing like flying 500m away from a terrain feature only to smack into it because the bounding box around the polygon for that feature was the size of fucking Nebraska.

[CritAnime]

Speaking of those, F29 Retaliator.  Beautiful game!  High poly count!  Ran well on unexpanded machines!  Hitboxes...ehh...yeah about that.  Nothing like flying 500m away from a terrain feature only to smack into it because the bounding box around the polygon for that feature was the size of fucking Nebraska.

So I am not the only one to crash into thin air then. :rofl:

[B00tDisk]

So I am not the only one to crash into thin air then. :rofl:

No.  It's part of why the game's performance was so high with such a relatively high poly count.  It's easy to pull off when the game just says "Okay those are there for decorations, I don't have to worry about calculations for physics or interactions - the big invisible rectangle they're sitting in, that one I need to make 'solid' (even though it's transparent)."

If you think about it, it sadly makes perfect sense.

[rvo_nl]

I really hated Captain Planet and its awful controls and collision detection. Also, Last action hero was a real dissapointment and Ive always been ashamed of Street Fighter II, later titles of that franchise proved the Amiga could do so much better. There is much more though, the really awful graphics of the Sierra Amiga adventures for example, or what about Pitfighter, Cabal (the c64 version looked better!) and post-1995 stuff like Racer, Joyride, Flyin High etc.. Oh and did anyone see the intro of Hellpigs?

Fortunately there have been more great games than bad ones..

[CritAnime]

@b00tdisk
I know I know

It's just slightly irritating when your trying some acrobatics on smash into nothing lol. Still a very good game.

Human Killing Machine. What not to do with a Street Fighter engine.

I really hated Captain Planet and its awful controls and collision detection.

My god that game was awful. I am convinced the only reason that game was played is because it was packed in with the Amiga.

[Lando]

Rise of the Robots was pretty lame, also dangerous streets that came with the CD32.

[djrikki]

Sierra games... the instant you loaded them up you was appalled by the graphics.  Especially so in the earlier games like Space Quest.  They just ported them straight from the PC - 16 colours and all that crap... shameful.  It was like taking a step back into the 80s, but I guess that is where the PC was at at that time - behind.  Nonetheless I did play them to death - because they was fun to play.  But why so many discs?  Did Sierra not believe in compression?

I played these around the time the A1200 was being touted and was looking forward to having a hard drive.  Sadly Commodore f**ked up by not installing them as standard.  Every man and his dog in the Amiga world wanted a HD, after that appalling decision you knew Commodore were heading into trouble.

[Daedalus]

I remember buying a game I hadn't heard of, just around when the high street stores were stopping the sale of Amiga games. It was a turn-based submarine game, but it was so bad I brought it back for a refund. It took 4 or 5 goes of fiddling about just to get it to run, and when it finally did... I was horrified. No sound, a 2-colour interlaced screen and some sort of controls you couldn't read that were copies of MacOS gadgets. I really couldn't understand how crap like that got published!!

Edit: The fact I'd never heard of it, and that it didn't have any screenshots on the box probably should've been a warning I guess... And I owned it for about 3 days in total so I've totally forgotten the name of it.

[save2600]

Any flight "sim" with a choppy framerate and sparse graphics. There's so many bad ones out there that were touted as being great or popular, but when you try to play them today - meh. Guess that genre didn't hold up particularly well IMO. One that was real popular back in the day was Wings. I love most Cinemaware games, but this is exactly what I just described above.

[Daedalus]

@save2600
Yeah, there are only so many polygons you can push around with a 7MHz CPU... Some of them were better programmed though, and ran as fast as the CPU allowed, like "modern" 3D games, as opposed to some which were tied to a specific framerate which was the lowest common rate that worked on all machines.

Birds of Prey was a great game! It struggles on an 000, was just about playable on the stock A1200, but flew along (sorry!) when I got my 060! Looks hella clunky nowadays though...

[B00tDisk]

I think we can all agree that shitty PC ports - particularly games that should have taken advantage of certain things the Amiga had (speech, mouse input, etc.) were pretty much the worst of the worst.  There were even cases where Amiga features were coded WRONG!  Wing Commander CD32, for example, had a bug that used the Akiko chip incorrectly and actually made the game slower.

EDIT: also, pretty much Sierra's output for the Amiga.  Fucking four, eight and sixteen color games on a machine that could do 64 without missing a beat.

THANKS, ASSHOLES.

[gaula92]

Hahahaha! I've been looking at Dangerous Streets CD32 in this video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kH0gnPQndEI

Now... Why does Enola Gay play with the fight???
And... and... she blocks by turning herself into a block!! This game is bollocks

[save2600]

EDIT: also, pretty much Sierra's output for the Amiga.  Fucking four, eight and sixteen color games on a machine that could do 64 without missing a beat.

THANKS, ASSHOLES.

Couldn't agree more! Throughout its history, the Amiga was seriously gypped that way. Between horseshit AtariST ports and clunky looking IBM DOS ports - what in the F#CK were they thinking?

I've never played Wing Commander on the CD32, but I can just imagine how clunky and slow that translation is.  :angry: